kingsroads: (small cheeky little smile)
Jonathan Strange ([personal profile] kingsroads) wrote in [community profile] lostcarnival2017-04-17 09:09 am

no bourbon, no scotch, no beer

Who: the idiot brigade aka Lambert & Strange
Where: Strange's trailer
When: backdated to late on Day 77
What: errybody in the trailer got tipsy
Warnings: alcohol use

( continued from here )

[ Taking the White Gull, Strange carefully puts two small drops of the alcohol into his mug of wine. His hands are steady, like he's used to doling out entirely small doses of liquids. Really, he doesn't believe this is as potent as Lambert says it is. After all, the other man can drink it and he...well, he's Lambert so who knows what sort of witcher nonsense makes you resistant to weird alcohols. Still, he can always add more later if need be.

As he finishes adding in the White Gull, Strange caps the flask and sets it on a nearby, hella cluttered table. Moments later, he raises his mug as well.

To your new appointment.

[ Might as well make an ATTEMPT at a toast. Strange downs a healthy serving of his wine...then just starts coughing a bit because wow, even with just two drops that stuff is surprisingly potent. ]

Good Lord.
whattaprick: (Default)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-17 10:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Isn't it in bad taste to toast yourself?

[ It's a good thing Lambert has more sense than to waste alcohol by doing something unfortunate like get it up his nose, but it' a near thing. As it is, he lowers the mug from his mouth, laughing at Strange's expense as he sputters. It's not that bad, really -- the potion really is more like a concentrated form of herbal liqueur, flavor-wise -- but it's unmistakably alcohol. Although it probably wasn't meant to be mixed with wine, the witcher's drinking it like he doesn't have any tastebuds at all...

Which is probably the case. Refined choices of vintages are Geralt's purview, not his. ]

Really packs a kick, doesn't it?
whattaprick: (manpain)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-17 11:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Takes too much time and too much coin to get drunk like everyone else.

[ Lambert shrugs. In truth, the likelihood that he'd had exactly the same reaction as Strange did the first time he tried it. Thanks, fellow witchers, for training him in the secret of how to get wasted super fast even if your metabolism doesn't lend itself well to it. ]

Goes better with spirits. There's one you can make out of potatoes ... should try making that sometime. That's something that actually wouldn't poison you.

[ He can't cook for shit, but alcohol brewing is close enough to alchemy that he's great at it. ]
Edited 2017-04-18 02:13 (UTC)
whattaprick: (dead eyes)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-18 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
You can make alcohol from just about anything, if you're determined enough and don't care about the quality. Don't get a lot of fancy wines out in the countryside.

[ Lambert shrugs, taking another swig of his drink. Unwilling to sit on the floor or keep leaning on the wall forever, he decides to sit on the edge of Strange's bunk, tail absently thwapping against the sheets. ]

Did a contract for a distillery, once -- cleared some Nekkers off their property. Paid me in coin and a lesson in brewing my own booze.
Edited 2017-04-18 19:01 (UTC)
whattaprick: (nyeh nyeh)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-18 08:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Ugly little bastards, about this high. [ Lambert makes a vague gesture indicating a point about two feet of the floor. ]

They're like ... small ogres? And they like to work in packs. There's never just one of them.
whattaprick: (Default)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-19 02:07 am (UTC)(link)
More like jump on drunk townsfolk and tear them apart for dinner. [ Lambert answers, frankly. Hope you weren't feeling too queasy there, Strange. ]

Happened to a few too many patrons who stopped by to have a drink. Place was starting to get a bad reputation, losing business. That always makes people more anxious to reach for the purse strings.
Edited 2017-04-19 02:08 (UTC)
whattaprick: (muffled rap music in the distance)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-19 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
You have no idea.

[ Lambert laughs into his cup, though it's a low, bitter sound. Strange can be awed all he wants, and Lambert can't argue it keeps him in business. Boring, repetitive business, but even so... he takes a deeper gulp of alcohol, then continues. ]

Got the Conjunction to thank for that, or so the stories say. Same thing that brought magic into the world brought the monsters with it.
whattaprick: (stabbity stab)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-19 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
Happened about fifteen centuries ago, if you believe the books. [ Yes, surprise, the man reads books. He sets down his mug on a clear spot on the table, raising both hands and touching fingertips to thumbs to form two circles that he guides towards each other. ]

Scholars say the Conjunction was another world overlapping with our own. One where all the creatures we find in our world before. [ He's taken on a lecturing tone of sorts, like he might be reciting a lesson from a long time ago, and he brings his hands together -- overlapping circles, framed by his talons. After a moment, he drops his hand and shrugs.. ]

Human scholars, anyway. Heard the elves say humans were just as much an invasive species as the monsters.
whattaprick: (nyeh nyeh)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-19 03:44 am (UTC)(link)
I think a lot of the witnesses died during all that. Don't think they'd see it that way.

[ Always a regular ray of sunshine. Still, he smirks, picking up his mug again and taking another drink. ]

Still, you could say it worked out in the end. World's still around, all these years later.

whattaprick: (crap did i break a nail)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-19 04:09 am (UTC)(link)
Who knows? Maybe the Carnival will swing by my world one day and you can buy as many books as you can carry.

[ He taps a claw at his chin. ]

So... two at most?
whattaprick: (sincerity)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-19 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
You should know witchers don't work for free. What's in it for me?

[ Although honestly, the idea of Strange trying to futz around with magic from his world is ghastly. ]
whattaprick: (you've got explaining to do)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-19 01:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Groooan. ]

Like you'll pick anything I want to read. Anyway, they weren't my books. Kaer Morhen had a library -- mandatory reading for all witchers in training. Knowing that the difference between a specter and a wraith could mean life or death is an effective incentive.
whattaprick: (nyeh nyeh)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-19 02:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Schools, actually. Kaer Morhen's where witchers from the School of the Wolf get trained.

[ This should explain the wolf heads on his swords (well, just the singular sword now) and the medallion, which he taps with a claw. Also yeah, nosiness is a given because it's Strange, but he also has booze so he's a little more amenable to questions. ]
whattaprick: (Default)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-19 05:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Besides the Wolf? The ones I've heard of are the Cat, Griffin, Viper, and Bear.

[ He shrugs, lightly. ]

There were probably more, but they might have died out a long time ago. Not even stories left, now.
whattaprick: (nyeh nyeh)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-19 10:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Boring. [ Lambert immediately says, with a roll of his eyes, but despite the irritation and clear mockery ... there's an exasperated fondness there, too. ]

Right now there are only four witchers from my school left, including me. I'm the youngest, so they're always on my back about everything -- about as fun as you can imagine. Eskel's better at magic, and after everything they put in him Geralt's even more of a beast than most witchers. Vesemir... [ At that some of his good mood abates, and his scowl seems genuinely scornful. ]

He's the one who trained all of us, so he definitely knows his shit. Sanctimonious as hell, though.
Edited 2017-04-19 22:36 (UTC)
whattaprick: (sincerity)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-20 03:18 am (UTC)(link)
I'll drink to that. [ You're a good bro, Strange. Lambert swirls the shitty cocktail in his mug before he tilts it up to drain the cup before he continues. ]

That's at least twice as many witchers as you've got magicians. [ Lambert has to point out the obvious potshot with a smirk. Well, all right, he doesn't have to do anything, but you know, just reminding Strange of that. It's better than dwelling on the actual answer to his question, though he does get to it after a moment's pause. ]

As you can guess, the job's dangerous. Nothing nearly as dangerous as people who think you have something they want, though. Hundred or so years back, a mob attacked the castle, destroyed or stole the formulas and spells for making new witchers and massacred all the witchers and the boys that were in training then. Only ones that survived were the ones who were out hunting for the season.

[ He holds out his cup for more wine when he finishes, brows raised. Top him up, bro. ]
Edited 2017-04-20 03:19 (UTC)
whattaprick: (like so whatever)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-20 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
[ Would it make Strange feel any better or worse to know that at least eight out of ten of those boys wouldn't have made it through what the witchers' trials anyway? Ah, Lambert can drop that shit bomb another time. He drinks off enough of the wine to be able to fill the rest with White Gull again.

Even well on his way to tipsy, though, Strange's 'casual' question isn't going to fool him, and he laughs, shaking his head. ]

Bad ones, Strange. You don't think I was born like this, do you? [ He taps a talon maybe uncomfortably close to one of his bright, cat-like eyes, the mutation one he had long before the carnival. ]

But honestly, I couldn't tell you the details if I wanted to. That wasn't considered something we needed to know.
Edited 2017-04-20 05:17 (UTC)
whattaprick: (quen if you love somebody)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-20 03:33 pm (UTC)(link)
If you puke in here, you're cleaning it up.

[ Actually, most likely Lambert's going to clean it up, if only because the idea of what civilizations and sentient beings might form out of vomit in the time it takes Strange to get rid of the mess is horrible to contemplate. With that caveat delivered, though, he passes the flask over. ]

It's not like witchers are the only thing that can kill monsters. We just don't need an army to do it. [ He shrugs. ] Vesemir says there's less monsters than there used to be, anyway. Guess he'd know, he's ancient.
whattaprick: (manpain)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-20 07:11 pm (UTC)(link)
[ They can pass out on the bed together in a miserable bachelor pile and really give Lars something to screech about whenever he stumbles back in. Lambert, however, probably won't be nursing the hangover Strange will. He takes the flask back, shrugging at Strange's musing. ]

Bigger cities, better armies, more politics. Take your pick. Monsters are like any other animal, they like places where they can hide better and where they can hunt better. Doesn't take a lot of brainpower to figure out peasants are easier to eat than a knight in plate armor.
whattaprick: (sincerity)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-21 06:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Compared to here? Maybe. [ Lambert shrugs. He takes this next cup a little more slowly than the last, if only to give Strange a chance to catch up. ]

Does it really count if you've never known anything else?
whattaprick: (crap did i break a nail)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-21 08:23 pm (UTC)(link)
That's what I mean. [ Lambert shrugs. ] I mean, most people knew it was shit, but they dealt with it because they didn't have a choice. If you were where I was from, you ...

[ He tries to take a moment to actually picture that, without involving statements like 'probably wouldn't live past the age of eight.' ]

... would've been taught how to deal with it. Probably. [ It's not like has any conception of how nobles' kids are raised, but they've got to learn how to be smarmy gits with their heads up their own ass from somewhere. ]
whattaprick: (dead eyes)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-21 10:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Let me guess: dad was a shithead.

[ Yeah, no, Lambert's not going to beat around the bush or spare Strange's tender feelings there. Who resents dads, boy does Lambert resent dads, and any authority figures that can be reasonably construed as fathers. As he's proving now by taking a big, resentful gulp of his drink, the burn of alcohol down his threat all too appropriate for the bitterness in his voice. ]

Guess thats one more thing we have in common. [ Other things being, an inability to take shit too seriously for too long.]
whattaprick: (nyeh nyeh)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-23 05:18 am (UTC)(link)
All I need now is to grow out my hair and no one'll ever be able to tell the difference.

[ Drink is the answer to a lot of things. Lambert smirks, tail curling around to rest in his lap. The results of attempting to punch either one of them are pretty stark, it's true, but it's not like Lambert needs a copy of himself to get along (and it would, honestly, probably, hate that). One thing he can say is that things are rarely ever boring around Strange, and that's a good enough reason to hang around him. ]

So, what'd he do? [ If they're going to get into it, Lambert wants the gory details. Don't spare him out of propriety, Strange. ]