kingsroads: (small cheeky little smile)
Jonathan Strange ([personal profile] kingsroads) wrote in [community profile] lostcarnival2017-04-17 09:09 am

no bourbon, no scotch, no beer

Who: the idiot brigade aka Lambert & Strange
Where: Strange's trailer
When: backdated to late on Day 77
What: errybody in the trailer got tipsy
Warnings: alcohol use

( continued from here )

[ Taking the White Gull, Strange carefully puts two small drops of the alcohol into his mug of wine. His hands are steady, like he's used to doling out entirely small doses of liquids. Really, he doesn't believe this is as potent as Lambert says it is. After all, the other man can drink it and he...well, he's Lambert so who knows what sort of witcher nonsense makes you resistant to weird alcohols. Still, he can always add more later if need be.

As he finishes adding in the White Gull, Strange caps the flask and sets it on a nearby, hella cluttered table. Moments later, he raises his mug as well.
]

To your new appointment.

[ Might as well make an ATTEMPT at a toast. Strange downs a healthy serving of his wine...then just starts coughing a bit because wow, even with just two drops that stuff is surprisingly potent. ]

Good Lord.
whattaprick: (like so whatever)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-20 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
[ Would it make Strange feel any better or worse to know that at least eight out of ten of those boys wouldn't have made it through what the witchers' trials anyway? Ah, Lambert can drop that shit bomb another time. He drinks off enough of the wine to be able to fill the rest with White Gull again.

Even well on his way to tipsy, though, Strange's 'casual' question isn't going to fool him, and he laughs, shaking his head. ]


Bad ones, Strange. You don't think I was born like this, do you? [ He taps a talon maybe uncomfortably close to one of his bright, cat-like eyes, the mutation one he had long before the carnival. ]

But honestly, I couldn't tell you the details if I wanted to. That wasn't considered something we needed to know.
Edited 2017-04-20 05:17 (UTC)
whattaprick: (quen if you love somebody)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-20 03:33 pm (UTC)(link)
If you puke in here, you're cleaning it up.

[ Actually, most likely Lambert's going to clean it up, if only because the idea of what civilizations and sentient beings might form out of vomit in the time it takes Strange to get rid of the mess is horrible to contemplate. With that caveat delivered, though, he passes the flask over. ]

It's not like witchers are the only thing that can kill monsters. We just don't need an army to do it. [ He shrugs. ] Vesemir says there's less monsters than there used to be, anyway. Guess he'd know, he's ancient.
whattaprick: (manpain)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-20 07:11 pm (UTC)(link)
[ They can pass out on the bed together in a miserable bachelor pile and really give Lars something to screech about whenever he stumbles back in. Lambert, however, probably won't be nursing the hangover Strange will. He takes the flask back, shrugging at Strange's musing. ]

Bigger cities, better armies, more politics. Take your pick. Monsters are like any other animal, they like places where they can hide better and where they can hunt better. Doesn't take a lot of brainpower to figure out peasants are easier to eat than a knight in plate armor.
whattaprick: (sincerity)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-21 06:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Compared to here? Maybe. [ Lambert shrugs. He takes this next cup a little more slowly than the last, if only to give Strange a chance to catch up. ]

Does it really count if you've never known anything else?
whattaprick: (crap did i break a nail)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-21 08:23 pm (UTC)(link)
That's what I mean. [ Lambert shrugs. ] I mean, most people knew it was shit, but they dealt with it because they didn't have a choice. If you were where I was from, you ...

[ He tries to take a moment to actually picture that, without involving statements like 'probably wouldn't live past the age of eight.' ]

... would've been taught how to deal with it. Probably. [ It's not like has any conception of how nobles' kids are raised, but they've got to learn how to be smarmy gits with their heads up their own ass from somewhere. ]
whattaprick: (dead eyes)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-21 10:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Let me guess: dad was a shithead.

[ Yeah, no, Lambert's not going to beat around the bush or spare Strange's tender feelings there. Who resents dads, boy does Lambert resent dads, and any authority figures that can be reasonably construed as fathers. As he's proving now by taking a big, resentful gulp of his drink, the burn of alcohol down his threat all too appropriate for the bitterness in his voice. ]

Guess thats one more thing we have in common. [ Other things being, an inability to take shit too seriously for too long.]
whattaprick: (nyeh nyeh)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-23 05:18 am (UTC)(link)
All I need now is to grow out my hair and no one'll ever be able to tell the difference.

[ Drink is the answer to a lot of things. Lambert smirks, tail curling around to rest in his lap. The results of attempting to punch either one of them are pretty stark, it's true, but it's not like Lambert needs a copy of himself to get along (and it would, honestly, probably, hate that). One thing he can say is that things are rarely ever boring around Strange, and that's a good enough reason to hang around him. ]

So, what'd he do? [ If they're going to get into it, Lambert wants the gory details. Don't spare him out of propriety, Strange. ]
whattaprick: (quen if you love somebody)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-24 03:44 am (UTC)(link)
[ For another person, that might be heavy, personal shit that explains a lot about Strange and his issues. To Lambert, it mostly sounds like affirmation of his belief in the lack of decent fathers anywhere, no matter your station in life, so while he doesn't drink as deeply as Strange, he lifts his cup lazily in salute and takes a gulp before speaking in turn. ]

Beat me and my mother every time he was drunk, which was any day he had coin in his pocket to spare, and every time he was pissed about not being drunk. Surprised he could even get it up long enough to put me in good old mum, which just proves not all miracles are good ones. And then instead of having the decency to die after stumbling into a nest of nekkers, he was saved by a witcher instead. And so-- [ He spreads his hands. ] --here I am.
whattaprick: (snerk)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-25 02:04 am (UTC)(link)
[ Strange's childhood also sounds terrible to Lambert, although to be fair, at least Strange's terrible childhood also clearly involved not starving. ]

Funny how that works, isn't it? [ Lambert snorts. ] Maybe it's because the good ones die doing shit they're supposed to do, like look out for their family.
whattaprick: (these wooounds they will not heeeal)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-25 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
There's always 'never be a dad,' not that I have a choice about that.

[ Not that Lambert sounds too broken up about it, because he's pretty clear about his limitations. Being a dad is for guys like Geralt, who care and shit like that. ]
whattaprick: (nyeh nyeh)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-25 11:53 am (UTC)(link)
[ Lambert shakes his head. He's not particularly bothered by discussing his own bodily functions, it seems, and he launches right into it. ]

Nah. It's the same idea, though I don't know if the mages planned it that way or not. Having that much magic forced through your body to change it apparently burns out any chance of knocking someone up. Probably for the best, though. [ He smirks. ] Otherwise I can think of some witchers who'd have bastards sired from Velen to Skellige.
whattaprick: (snerk)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-25 04:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Not like me, they're not. Too vain. [ Lambert snickers at the very concept. ]

We got some things in common, like not getting old as quickly. But most mages use magic to stop aging completely. Sorceresses tend to keep their youth, while sorcerors try to look as wise and wordly as they can. Probably think it gives them more credibility.
whattaprick: (piss off)

[personal profile] whattaprick 2017-04-26 06:18 am (UTC)(link)
You're thinking of druids. [ Lambert laughs at that, claws tapping at the side of his mug. ] They mostly just go for wrinkles and greying hair. But it's mostly sorceresses now, as far as I know.

[ Though it's also a bad time for magic users, with Radovid going crazy and all that. At the mention of families, Lambert's lip curls again, though it's more of a sneer than genuine amusement as he follows suit and chugs down the rest of his drink as well. Can't have Strange outdrinking him now, can he? ]

Nothing really to explain. Enough stories out there that people know what they're signing up for.

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sorry, he's awful

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okay, not even a little bit

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