ZIM (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
squeedlyspooch) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
lostcarnival2017-05-23 04:28 pm
squeedlyspooch) wrote in lostcarnival2017-05-23 04:28 pm
Been around the world and found
Who: Zim and OPEN!
What: Getting his bearings and going on a glue hunt after going into debt for being a shithead AKA intro post.
When: Day 103
Where: The lake, cookhouse, wandering everywhere!
Warnings: Zim being Zim.
A. The Lake.
[Zim is standing in front of the lake, disguised and disgusted. The very idea of having to live somewhere so close to such a large body of water is not only repulsive, but it's utterly offensive to him. He hasn't actually checked to see if this water will burn him, but that isn't the point. He isn't going to risk that out in the open, where anyone could potentially see a little green alien being set on fire due to something entirely normal to humans. That would look more than a little suspicious.]
Ugh, this terrible. Probably filled with germs, too.
[He kicks at a rock, watching it land in the water with a dunk. With his luck it probably rains and snows here, too. No GIR to do any information retrieval for him, so he's on his own in finding an ample supply of glue to deal with all this water. This is absolutely ridiculous. Does this place even have glue? That thought has him pausing, because what if it doesn't? What if he's stuck here, surrounded by who-knows-how-much-water, with no glue baths to prevent it from making contact with his skin?
That's enough to get him shaking his fist ineffectually at the lake.]
I should drain the whole thing!
B. The Cookhouse.
[His next stop is the Cookhouse, because that seems like a possibility in finding the above-mentioned glue. That one horrible child in his class really enjoyed eating it so maybe there's some human or mutant or whatever here who likes doing the same. It can't hurt to look, right? He doesn't have a lot of options here, and he isn't exactly sure how carnivals work. His intel on Earth (which was terrible to begin with) didn't include a lot on stupid festivals, those being a total waste of his valuable time and all.
He's marching (literal marching, goose-stepping and everything) around, not actually taking any food (because ew) but definitely appearing to be searching for something. Eventually he makes his way over to one of the cooks and in a most demanding voice shouting:]
You! Food drone, where is the glue?? [This is absolutely, 100% the correct way to refer to another employee and no one can convince him otherwise.]
C. Wandering!
[Sooo the cookhouse was a total bust. Which he finds dumb as hell, since glue is clearly an edible thing. It should be made available to eat! Perfect, simple logic. Hardly his fault those idiot cooks can't get that through their thick skulls, though now this means he's wandering the carnival aimlessly, still disguised, attempting to finding a booth or something that looks like it might sell glue. Maybe with the school supplies? Not that they have school here, which is also bizarre to him.
This time he's going to hold off on the approach-and-demand approach to this hunt; it would look a little suspicious if he just began asking every single person for as much glue as possible. He at least knows that human children generally don't need that much glue. He'll just have to find any signs of the stuff, which he is perfectly capable of doing, because he's so good at doing reconnaissance when he has to!
Reconnaissance involves going to places like the game booths, and the tents where the animals are kept. Because of course glue might be there. Feel free to run into one little green weird-looking kid who is obviously on a very serious mission that involves looking under tables and shit.]
What: Getting his bearings and going on a glue hunt after going into debt for being a shithead AKA intro post.
When: Day 103
Where: The lake, cookhouse, wandering everywhere!
Warnings: Zim being Zim.
A. The Lake.
[Zim is standing in front of the lake, disguised and disgusted. The very idea of having to live somewhere so close to such a large body of water is not only repulsive, but it's utterly offensive to him. He hasn't actually checked to see if this water will burn him, but that isn't the point. He isn't going to risk that out in the open, where anyone could potentially see a little green alien being set on fire due to something entirely normal to humans. That would look more than a little suspicious.]
Ugh, this terrible. Probably filled with germs, too.
[He kicks at a rock, watching it land in the water with a dunk. With his luck it probably rains and snows here, too. No GIR to do any information retrieval for him, so he's on his own in finding an ample supply of glue to deal with all this water. This is absolutely ridiculous. Does this place even have glue? That thought has him pausing, because what if it doesn't? What if he's stuck here, surrounded by who-knows-how-much-water, with no glue baths to prevent it from making contact with his skin?
That's enough to get him shaking his fist ineffectually at the lake.]
I should drain the whole thing!
B. The Cookhouse.
[His next stop is the Cookhouse, because that seems like a possibility in finding the above-mentioned glue. That one horrible child in his class really enjoyed eating it so maybe there's some human or mutant or whatever here who likes doing the same. It can't hurt to look, right? He doesn't have a lot of options here, and he isn't exactly sure how carnivals work. His intel on Earth (which was terrible to begin with) didn't include a lot on stupid festivals, those being a total waste of his valuable time and all.
He's marching (literal marching, goose-stepping and everything) around, not actually taking any food (because ew) but definitely appearing to be searching for something. Eventually he makes his way over to one of the cooks and in a most demanding voice shouting:]
You! Food drone, where is the glue?? [This is absolutely, 100% the correct way to refer to another employee and no one can convince him otherwise.]
C. Wandering!
[Sooo the cookhouse was a total bust. Which he finds dumb as hell, since glue is clearly an edible thing. It should be made available to eat! Perfect, simple logic. Hardly his fault those idiot cooks can't get that through their thick skulls, though now this means he's wandering the carnival aimlessly, still disguised, attempting to finding a booth or something that looks like it might sell glue. Maybe with the school supplies? Not that they have school here, which is also bizarre to him.
This time he's going to hold off on the approach-and-demand approach to this hunt; it would look a little suspicious if he just began asking every single person for as much glue as possible. He at least knows that human children generally don't need that much glue. He'll just have to find any signs of the stuff, which he is perfectly capable of doing, because he's so good at doing reconnaissance when he has to!
Reconnaissance involves going to places like the game booths, and the tents where the animals are kept. Because of course glue might be there. Feel free to run into one little green weird-looking kid who is obviously on a very serious mission that involves looking under tables and shit.]
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That’s how Peridot sees this, anyway. She turns her nose up at him, snickering maliciously.]
Sounds to me like you’re just blustering to cover up for what weaklings you Irkens are. To be honest? It’s really sad. And your Tallest must really be desperate if you’re the best they’ve got for an invasion force.
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A BRAINLESS ROCK WOULDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE OVERWHELMING AMAZINGNESS OF THE IRKEN EMPIRE AND THE ALMIGHTY TALLEST! ZIM HAS SINGLE-HANDEDLY DESTROYED ENTIRE CIVILIZATIONS WITHOUT EVEN TRYING, YOU'RE THE WEAKLING SPECIES!!
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YOU'VE destroyed civilizations? Seriously. You. Single-handedly. [SNORT.] That's such a ridiculous lie, I don't even know where to begin!
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Have you?
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Anyway, I never claimed to be the sole force behind all gem colonization efforts. We gems are an amazingly efficient, brilliant species. Everyone specializes, everyone plays a part.
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[Sadly, she's just giving him more fodder for an entirely unnecessary ego boost.]
If you're so efficient why does it take more than one of you to conquer another species, huh? If you can even do that much! Irkens only ever need ONE invader to take over!
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Tch. One Irken to take over an entire planet? Quit tumbling my rocks. Even if that is true, how long does it take you? Years? DECADES? That sure is a lot of time to waste when you have a pathetically finite organic lifespan!
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DECADES are NOTHING! What, do you think Irkens have puny human lifespans?! HAH!
This is me laughing at you. HAHAHAHA!!
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Alright, I'll bite: What's the average lifespan of an Irken, then?
[She's kind of snickering because the concept of a lifespan is just sort of hilarious to her. MORTALITY. PSSH.]
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YOU FOOL!
[And then he calms down immediately.]
It depends on how you define 'lifespan', of course.
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[She makes an impatient sound.]
What do you mean 'how you define it', it's very simple! Just tell me, what is the average length of time over which your flimsy organic flesh body can be expected to last, from the day it starts functioning to the day it breaks down beyond repair and takes your consciousness and everything else with it?
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Meaning?
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It's not that I can't figure it out, it's that I'm not even going to BOTHER, because Gems are literally ageless, so unless you can match that, you're still the lesser lifeforms!
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Well I guess I'm just too primitive to show you where all this glue you're looking for is hidden! [Tut tut.] Too bad... I guess you'll never find it.
[Annnnd she starts walking away.]
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[No. No no no, he won. WHAT IS THIS. He flails and chases after her, going to grab her arm to stop her.]
WAITWAITWAITWAITWAAAIIIT!!
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LATER, ZIM! NYEHEHEHEHEHE!!