[All the wanting in his bones doesn't make him very good at it.]

Just imagine... The study of coolness. Coolology. People must line up to fund those grants. And who wouldn't? It would almost be worth all the long and boring paperwork, to be the one to unlock those deep secrets!

[Who needed quantum physics when you could have a degree in the fine art of being a cool dude? Too bad monster college didn't offer that major. He might have gone, if they did...]