Expected yes, there was a lot that seemed to be expected of him back then. He never was able to meet those expectations though, not even his own. He wished he could do as he was told without feeling so awful for the harm he caused. He was just protecting himself, that's what he tried to tell himself back then, but it never really made the guilt go away.

"I met someone... They told me it was normal to care. Natural." he laughs again, but once more there's no joy in it. "I was happy to hear it. It changed me... But now I wonder why I was so eager to believe. Did I really have faith in those words? Or was I simply eager to relieve my own pain?"

He feels even worse saying it aloud than he had when he'd simply been asking himself. The Signless had fought so hard for his beliefs. He had cared about everyone, he'd wanted to free them. The Psionic had believed in that dream too, an Alternia where everyone could be free. Had he really wanted it though? Or maybe he'd only cared for himself. Was that why he was so afraid of going back? His eyes feel hot with growing tears, and he hides his eyes behind his hand feeling ashamed.