wild_magic: (14)
Susan ([personal profile] wild_magic) wrote in [community profile] lostcarnival2017-03-27 08:40 pm
Entry tags:

dumb sad boys

Who: Lauren and Susan
What: dumb brothers being sad - continued from here OKAY NOW IT'S ACTUALLY A CATCH-ALL LAUREN+SUSAN POST FOR PRE-ALOLA JUNK
When: Day 68 at night a variety, starting with night of day 68
Where: their trailer

Although he eventually came out of the bathroom that first night, Susan still didn't talk to Lauren. Instead he avoided his brother as best he could, falling asleep curled up with Fluff (and Stanley, if she let him) on the bed.

The next day he went out, even though Lauren had told him not to; he didn't know a lot about vampires, and even though he felt bad doing it (especially when he was still worried about Lauren), he was pretty sure they couldn't go out in the sun, so it was an easy way to not have to talk to him. He didn't want another argument, not any more - not that he knew what else to do, not when he was feeling pretty bad now, but that didn't matter. He just didn't want Lauren to yell at him and tell him he's wrong.

By that night, though, he still wasn't feeling any better - and even though he still didn't want to really talk to his brother, he still missed him and wanted to be with him.

Once it was late, and he was sure Lauren would be asleep, Susan quietly left the sofa where he'd been originally planning on sleeping, instead slipping into the room with his brother. From there he quietly made his way to the bed, climbing under the covers while being as careful as he could to not wake him.

Day 75

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-03-31 12:37 am (UTC)(link)
It's maybe a few hours after his desperate plea for help that he begins to act on the other's advice. It was strange, before he'd felt desperate and helpless. Now, he had a feeling like maybe there really was something he could do. It felt ridiculous. Susan hadn't even done anything since that day he'd attacked the Ringmaster, Lauren knew any outsider looking in wouldn't understand his concern. At the same time, that his young brother who had always been so cheerful and positive would attack someone and speak with such vehemence... He couldn't help his concern.

Though Susan may have been without magic at the moment, he was normally very powerful. Susan also wasn't accustomed to losing. His younger brother had the careless optimism of a child, because he was a child. Lauren knew Susan wouldn't take his concerns seriously, he never did. That still wasn't any reason not to try. If things were as dire as they felt, and he believed they were, then he had to do everything he could to stop Susan from hurting anyone else or himself. When Susan comes back to the trailer, he knew he had to talk to him then, or else he might loose his nerve.

"Susan, we need to talk."
mylastchance: (☔ Light Showers)

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-03-31 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
Okay. He could totally do this. He just wanted to be honest, and express himself directly. It was hard for him, not because he wanted to be indirect, not at the exact moment at least, but because it was so hard for him to accurately communicate his own thoughts and feelings. He could do this, he just had to focus.

"I'm... Worried about you... More than usual."
mylastchance: (❄ Chilly)

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-03-31 01:01 am (UTC)(link)
He shakes his head, looking serious.

"No, I do..." And not just because Susan won't worry about himself, and not just because Lauren cares for him, but because they're family too.

"...Nana and Father entrusted me to take care of you..."

It was his most important responsibility, if he couldn't do that he might as well give up on everything else too.

"And... I care for you too..." There wasn't usually a need for that to be said, but just in case he wants Susan to know anyway.
Edited 2017-03-31 01:02 (UTC)
mylastchance: (❄ Hail)

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-03-31 01:16 am (UTC)(link)
"Something is wrong." Lauren says leaning forward. His voice is loud, not because he's angry, but because he so strongly believes it. Almost immediately he's embarrassed by his own reaction and he pulls back staring down at the table. "I don't think I really understand what, but I know something is different... I thought getting rid of the vampire-ism would fix it."

But it hadn't. It hadn't done anything except make Lauren happier. Susan's mood hadn't changed at all.

"You said you wanted things to go back to normal. I know they're not, but that at least was a good first step, wasn't it?"
mylastchance: (🍃 Drafty)

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-03-31 01:47 am (UTC)(link)
It did happen, he knows that moment is still a bad one, but why is that what Susan focuses on right now? He really doesn't get it. He nods though, acknowledging Susan's input and showing he's listening.

"It did. And you're... Mad about it."

Carly said maybe the thing he thought he was mad at might not really be the problem though. Or, she had said something like it at least. To be honest, it was hard for him to really understand what she meant, but he wanted to at least try, for Susan's sake.

Susan was mad at the Ringmaster, but he was also mad at himself. He's only mentioned that second part once. There didn't really seem to be a way for Lauren to convince Susan it wasn't his fault. He wanted to believe someone was at fault, because thinking it was random was... Bad somehow.

He wasn't any good at this. Perhap's Susan should be Carly's brother instead. He shoves the thought away. He doesn't have time for self-pity.

"...Does blaming someone make you feel better?"
mylastchance: (🍃 Cool)

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-03-31 01:55 am (UTC)(link)
He doesn't agree, but for now he will to avoid the argument.

"I know, I just mean. Attacking her, you said it was for everyone, but would it have also made you happier?"

He doesn't know what he expects to hear as an answer. Honestly, a part of him is afraid of what the real answer might be.
mylastchance: (☔ Grey Skies)

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-03-31 02:07 am (UTC)(link)
If they both don't know the answer then maybe this wasn't the right route for their conversation. He had to be more direct, steer things back on course.

"You probably already know attacking the Ringmaster is dangerous... That you might do it again... That thought truly scares me."
mylastchance: (☔ Storm Warning)

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-03-31 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
Lauren winces, it's the answer he wanted to hear, but it came so easily.

"... Can you really say that so confidentially?"
mylastchance: (🍃 Strong Winds)

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-03-31 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
"A spell?" he asks, looking confused. This is the first he's heard of it.
mylastchance: (❄ 011)

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-03-31 02:25 am (UTC)(link)
He looks down to the table. So his worries really were unfounded.

"What if it's someone else?"
mylastchance: (❄ Hail)

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-03-31 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
"What if there's someone else stronger that you blame... Will you attack them?"
mylastchance: (❄ 046)

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-03-31 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
He huffs, feeling frustrated, but holds back the feeling.

"Not now, but that doesn't mean their won't ever be one."
mylastchance: (❄ 011)

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-03-31 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
He rests his head in his hand beyond worked up over this. He was sick of worrying and not knowing what to do. It was driving him crazy and it was at his wits end.

"Do you never think?" He's not even looking at Susan, but his voice is harsh.

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