[This doesn't surprise Doll, even if it's new information. Joker had said he'd contracted for the same thing, keeping his family safe and out of England, and she realizes now that Snake obviously would do the same thing.]

[Maybe she is here because of the both of them, but she can't be mad about it, she can't even call it selfish.]

But if you hadn't, I-- [She kept this from Joker so he wouldn't be upset, and she'd planned to do the same thing for Snake for the same reasons. But from where Doll is sitting, he doesn't realize just how important it is that she's here and not back in England.]

[Twisting her fingers nervously, she decides that she just has to be honest. It could be the only way to take Snake's guilt from him.]

...If you hadn't, I could be dead right now. [She swallows hard, trying to block out the last images she'd seen but she can't. As far as she's concerned, it's happened too recently.] I didn't make it to Joker in time and Smile and Black... [Her throat is trying to close and stop her voice, her thoughts are scattered and out of order, but she's going to get through this.]

He told me he killed Joker, and everyone. I didn't think, I just, ran at him and Black-- [She hugs her arms around her shoulders, trying to squeeze the sensation away.] He was a monster.