Steven nods in understanding, feeling oppressively mute in the face of what he's dealing with. It had taken him a few days to start talking much again, and the shock of the Queen's attack feels like it's set him back. The worst part is that he can't figure out how he should be reacting. It's not that he's forgotten what it was like to be with his dad - happy memories of what life could be like was the only thing that kept him going when he finally escaped.
Yet, now, it's so hard not to feel like something must have changed about him that he doesn't get to act like that anymore. It was easier at the Sanctuary, where everyone was a stranger and for who being a changeling seemed like a normal affair. His dad, though...
He has no idea how his dad felt about anything that happened. He always assumed that his dad would be against it, because Childermass had pointedly taken him when his dad wasn't there to protect him. Initially, he'd been set on imagining how his dad would realize he was gone and come and get him, and that he'd tell the Rose Queen that they were leaving and that she couldn't treat him like that anymore.
Of course, that never happened.
So what did that leave? He's not angry that he wasn't rescued - instead, it's more like he started feeling like it wasn't necessarily something he was owed, and maybe his dad agreed that this was how it had to be even if he didn't like it. Steven was a changeling, after all, and as his mom had taught him again and again, he belonged to her, rightfully and justly so.
He closes his eyes, but not because of the pain. The pain doesn't phase him anymore. It does sting, and the burns feel awful, but its not the first thing on his mind. He keeps trying to say something, but he feels like his voice has been spirited away.
"A-Are..." he tries, barely managing to get past the word. The easier it is to think, the harder it is to talk. He keeps trying. "A-Are you... going to t-take me... back?"
no subject
Yet, now, it's so hard not to feel like something must have changed about him that he doesn't get to act like that anymore. It was easier at the Sanctuary, where everyone was a stranger and for who being a changeling seemed like a normal affair. His dad, though...
He has no idea how his dad felt about anything that happened. He always assumed that his dad would be against it, because Childermass had pointedly taken him when his dad wasn't there to protect him. Initially, he'd been set on imagining how his dad would realize he was gone and come and get him, and that he'd tell the Rose Queen that they were leaving and that she couldn't treat him like that anymore.
Of course, that never happened.
So what did that leave? He's not angry that he wasn't rescued - instead, it's more like he started feeling like it wasn't necessarily something he was owed, and maybe his dad agreed that this was how it had to be even if he didn't like it. Steven was a changeling, after all, and as his mom had taught him again and again, he belonged to her, rightfully and justly so.
He closes his eyes, but not because of the pain. The pain doesn't phase him anymore. It does sting, and the burns feel awful, but its not the first thing on his mind. He keeps trying to say something, but he feels like his voice has been spirited away.
"A-Are..." he tries, barely managing to get past the word. The easier it is to think, the harder it is to talk. He keeps trying. "A-Are you... going to t-take me... back?"