Foster listens, his ears flattening further back against his head the more Taako and the Angel and everyone else speaks.
The Earth spirit's death, the Severing, the Carnival... in the end, what it comes down to is a choice. A choice between himself and everyone else. It's that simple. Undo the severing, and the world will heal, and everyone can leave--everyone will leave, including him. And the disease will come back, and his brain will rot, he'll rot, and it will be exactly as though none of this ever was, because if the cost of being alive is his own miserable, sick fate, because if being alive is a disease that will devour him whole, then his own happiness is a festering wound on the body of the world, then staying alive is a form of madness, then anything as universal as death must be a blessing.
He lifts his head, eyes wet--not with grief, but with anger and hate.
"I'm not going to suffer just so everyone else can have their happy ending."
Why does he have to suffer?
Why does he have to suffer for everyone else to live?
Why--
Why him
He knows why him. He knows. He knows, and he knows he's not the kind of person who gets a happy ending. Because it's not that he doesn't care. He does. He does care. He does care and he hates them because he can't justify this any other way.
"So I'm selfish and awful. Fine. I'm not going back. I won't. If that's how it is... I'll just die. Problem solved! The world is saved. You all can go... back to your lives. Everyone wins."
tw: suicidal ideation
The Earth spirit's death, the Severing, the Carnival... in the end, what it comes down to is a choice. A choice between himself and everyone else. It's that simple. Undo the severing, and the world will heal, and everyone can leave--everyone will leave, including him. And the disease will come back, and his brain will rot, he'll rot, and it will be exactly as though none of this ever was, because if the cost of being alive is his own miserable, sick fate, because if being alive is a disease that will devour him whole, then his own happiness is a festering wound on the body of the world, then staying alive is a form of madness, then anything as universal as death must be a blessing.
He lifts his head, eyes wet--not with grief, but with anger and hate.
"I'm not going to suffer just so everyone else can have their happy ending."
Why does he have to suffer?
Why does he have to suffer for everyone else to live?
Why--
Why himHe knows why him. He knows. He knows, and he knows he's not the kind of person who gets a happy ending. Because it's not that he doesn't care. He does. He does care. He does care and he hates them because he can't justify this any other way.
"So I'm selfish and awful. Fine. I'm not going back. I won't. If that's how it is... I'll just die. Problem solved! The world is saved. You all can go... back to your lives. Everyone wins."