"-- fuck--!" What the hell? He stumbles, nearly losing his balance and falling; he only narrowly manages to keep himself upright, swinging one arm out to balance himself and the other up, to try and figure out what the hell is on him.

It's a bat. A big one.

What the fuck.

He tries to hold it the fuck still, struggling with it and cursing.

"Fucking-- holy shit, give me a second, you're tearing all my beautiful fuckin' curls out!"