steadydollypegs: (076)
𝒹𝑜𝓁𝓁 ([personal profile] steadydollypegs) wrote in [community profile] lostcarnival 2017-09-13 02:04 am (UTC)

CW: child abuse

That's right-- Tamaki doesn't lie to her. Unless he's been lying this whole time like Smile had, but... there's something about his face that she trusts. Or wants to trust. Is she just making another huge mistake? There's no Peter to smack her across the face and tell her she's an idiot for being so trusting, no Beast to snap her whip at forward gentlemen, it's just her and this boy.

This boy who she likes-- so much. And she realizes she just wants him to like her too, and this could be the end of that. How many people had called her a sweet little girl until they'd seen her face? Why had she grown her hair out over that particular spot in the first place? Because she was beautiful if she was careful, and fit her name if she hid her rough spots.

"Tamaki..." her voice breaks as she struggles, her knuckles going white in her shirt. She doesn't know what to say-- lie and tell him the other one is just the same? Tell the truth and have him be disgusted? Or worse-- watch him wince and try to convince her it wasn't so bad?

It was awful. It was ugly. It was a constant reminder of how much her parents hated and resented her, and so it was fine calling it ugly and awful and hiding it away. It wasn't her fault. Someone trying to reassure her that it wasn't so bad wasn't only wrong, it made it sound like she had made a mistake and needed a pat on the back. The only thing that kept her from dwelling on it was her ability to separate her scar from herself, and even with all of the work she does to cover it, it's still a fight.

"I only have one," she says, her voice barely above a whisper, looking very firmly at Tamaki's elbow. "Pretty girls have two."

She feels like she's going to be sick.

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