"Ouch. Yeah, that's fair, but honestly, a brainwashed person could say anything. You've noticed I do know the problem here. The Prince is not-" Julien's palps twitch and curl up tight at the sides of his face as sweat forms on his temples. He tries again. "He's demanding, and the price for failure is a little steep!"

There. It's true, he's able to think it, it's just that the reasons why he switched are really hard to put into words. Besides that the Carnival people are his enemies now, and after he screwed up as badly as he did he can't go back.

"But again, rewards of service. Aside from everything else, it is its own reward! To join your life to a greater cause? I've done that before, this isn't so different." There's all kinds of mouth-wiping here. His pedipalps know what's up.

"It's called the underbelly, actually!" There's a glassy, brittle aspect to his expression, and he keeps glancing away. "And do forgive me, please, but I don't think we're close enough that I should just go on about it."