espigeon: (23)
Julien Delacroix ([personal profile] espigeon) wrote in [community profile] lostcarnival 2017-11-25 10:57 am (UTC)

"That's right. I assumed." The spectral eyes start winking out. Julien closes his real ones as they start stinging again and takes a deep, steadying breath.

"I didn't think. I just didn't." The lines from a web-based comic he used to read come to mind, unbidden. I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe me. I wasn’t thinking about you at all. He winces.

Now's not the time to say What would you have done? It's never going to be the time. Julien knows not to say things like that, or that he doesn't trust that anyone would be willing or able to help. He especially knows not to say that asking for help - not even asking for help, trying to keep people updated - had only made things worse.

So he doesn't say that. Eyes down. Be defeated. Submit, survive. He knows that that thought comes from being slave to the Prince and it fills his throat, almost chokes him. It's that and hearing Carly close to tears. Julien makes a little gasp and with difficulty says, "I'm sorry, Carly."

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