lostcarnival | yuya needs better friends

Entry tags:

yuya needs better friends

Who: Yuya & Strange
What: teenager goes to check on his stupid grown-up friend
When: shortly after the radio post
Where: Strange's trailer

Strange has decided people are stupid. First Lambert yells at him for not being mad enough, now the Ringmaster yells at him for not being mad enough despite the fact that she first said she thought the conversation was a valid idea and she gave him his stupid fireproof cape back, and now Yuya's going to yell at him for some dumb reason and he's not a Nightrider anymore despite the fact that it makes tactical sense and he's stuck in research of all divisions and everything is dumb and he's going to go live in the woods with Coco as a hermit.

And now that he's gotten all his childish pouting out of the way, accidentally burned one of his shirts, and threw a plate against the wall of his trailer (it didn't help), Strange is grumpily coming to the conclusion that he can't be a hermit and he's going to have to deal with people and he should probably think of the best way to sort all this mess out as best as possible.

Strange has left his trailer door open, partly so that he'll see Yuya approach and partly because his trailer smells like burnt fabric at the moment. Sorry, Syrlya. He's sweeping up the remnants of said broken plate as Yuya approaches.

"Give me a moment," Strange calls out, before trying to finagle the broom back in the corner to sweep up the tiny shards of ceramic into the dustpan. "Alright, I think that should be it. You can come inside." His hair's burning a bit more than normal and Strange is wearing a simple white t-shirt instead of the ruined one, but Strange is desperately trying to look like a man who is collected enough for what will inevitably be a talk that he really doesn't want to do.

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"It's been this bad for a while," Yuya counters with a frown. Because, you know, people have also been dying for a while, or just as bad.

"I'm not saying you should stop trying to fix them yourself, but why can't I help? What about anyone else? You know none of us want to see you stuck with Ignatius forever, or your curse, or hurt by Nightshade! You have friends here. I'm your friend."

So are a bunch of other people he hopes he doesn't have to name. Strange knows who his friends arw, doesn't he? "It's easier when you have friends to help you."

He can already feel his hair and hands starting to light themselves on fire again. So, Strange takes a deep breath. And then another one. His hands are smoking slightly but not on fire.

"I should be able to fix this by myself," he says, in between breaths. "This is my mistake. I don't want anyone else possibly getting hurt or using up a boon of theirs just for me."

"But you're already talking like you're expecting you're going to be stuck with Ignatius."

Yuya wasn't worried the first time they talked about this, but hearing Strange double back when they'd supposedly found some solution and admit that he takes Ignatius' opinion openly seriously because he could end up being his boss for eternity is... that's alarming.

Yuya leans back against the doorway, shielding the way his tail twitches with agitation. "He forced you into a choice that you were going to lose no matter what. That's not just your mistake, and you shouldn't have to suffer because you were protecting everyone else there from the same."

A pause, and then he narrows his eyes a little as he regards Strange. "Do you think you deserve any of this?"

Strange still has his fists clenched as he still tries to take some deep breaths and keep himself calm. The smoke from his hands is picking up a bit, though, which just makes him even angrier than before.

"I don't expect to be stuck with Ignatius. But if we can't find any solution, that's how it's going to be. The Ringmaster can't keep him in the carnival forever." And when she runs out of power or he gains enough power or, god forbid, the Summer Court does a jailbreak, then what?

"Nobody in the carnival deserves half the things that happen to them, myself included. But deserving something doesn't matter. What matters is that it happened."

Edited 2018-06-27 02:13 (UTC)

Yuya wrinkles his nose as the smoke elevates, but he doesn't think much further about it--Rita said it's just a change, like what happens in the carnival, so it's probably fine.

At least he knows Strange isn't beating himself up over this stuff, and in response he pulls off the door and stands up straight. "I don't expect her to keep him here forever! But we already have the start of how we could fix it and you keep shooting it down before we even try! If you think you can fix it all by yourself, then where's your solution?"

He can't keep the edge out of his voice completely, but at least he's refraining from snapping at Strange over this. It's just frustrating, when the stakes are as high as Strange's entire life. His happiness.

"That favor you might have from the Summer Maiden might be able to help me but it can also be used to help you. Or Gongenzaka. You said it yourself, you have to be strong enough to protect him. And now that the Ringmaster's changed patrol to a militia, you'll need to protect him more than ever."

They just had this conversation, not even a week ago. In Strange's mind, if Yuya wants to be more powerful and wants to find a way to keep Gongenzaka safe, he should do what he can to focus on that. After all, he can't use that favor to help both of them.

Strange is trying to keep his voice deliberately neutral and trying to keep himself calm. It's only mostly working.

"Helping you doesn't mean I'm not protecting Gongenzaka!" His face twists in irritation. He's not sure if he's more offended by the continued notion that not using it for Gon is a disservice to him, or frustrated that Strange will just openly deflect any reasonable assistance without any actual options himself. Because he definitely noticed that Strange hasn't offered any ideas himself so far.

For helping himself... well, he doesn't see himself in half the danger his friends are in. He's kept an awfully low profile in the carnival, at least in terms of ruining his life (or forfeiting it).

"You know, I can care about more than one person! And I happen to care about you, and I want to make sure you get home safely to Mrs. Strange!" He waves his hand in the air, vaguely and energetically. "Would you really be okay if you never saw her again? Would she?"

"Of course not," Strange answers, without hesitation. He misses Arabella so much already, the idea of even more time away from her sickens him to his stomach. Almost unconsciously, he walks over towards his desk, where the creepy wife gem is sitting.

"But I don't..." There's an awkward pause, where Strange looks like he's torn between saying something and not saying something. "I don't know what to do," Strange finally admits. Even when his plans were shitty and reckless, they were still plans. Here, he's entirely in over his head and he just keeps digging himself further and further down and any semblance of a plan starts to fall apart with almost every action he takes.

"And I can't get back to Arabella unless I have some idea of what to do in the first place. And I don't want you to use up a chance like this until I know what I'm going to do."

Yuya hesitates by the door until Strange's quiet admission. His shoulders sink a little as he follows, stopping beside Strange so he can look up at him. His expression has smoothed over, the ire giving way to sympathy as he reaches to put his hand on Strange's arm.

"There's still a few months left in your contract, right? There's time to figure out what to do. And you will--but do you really have to do it alone? Even when it's something you're good at, having someone else still helps. It makes it easier."

He'll get home faster, obviously. Yuya taps the side of his head with a wry smile. "You know, when something happens and I don't know what to do I get so worried about fixing it that I can't see any other options. But it's not always the right path, so my friends help me find other ways. And then they help me accomplish them."

Being aware of tunnel vision unfortunately largely doesn't stop tunnel vision. Yuya knows he's lucky to have people to steer him back on course when he needs it. Maybe Strange needs that too, if he'll listen.

Strange is still trying to take deep breaths and follow that breathing advice Rita gave him a few days ago. And now that his hands are cool enough and not actively smoking, he picks up the creepy wife gem from his desk and runs his fingers over it's ridges and cuts.

Why didn't he have this thing with him back in the forest? That would have probably calmed him down from a few arguments. He's still tense and still looks a bit like he's ready to fight the next person who tries something. But all this plus Yuya's hand on his arm is calming him down to 'not actively on fire' levels.

"Considering that every time I open my mouth, someone tries to argue with me, that's more incentive to do it alone in the first place," Strange points out. Which really, says a lot more about Strange than it does anybody else. After almost a week of constant arguing, he's sloooowly coming around to try and realize that maybe he's the problem and not everybody else. Give him a bit before it sinks in, though. Maybe a few more dumb arguments.

"Thanks to that radio conversation, I've figured out that they yell at me whenever I mention Ignatius. But I can't spend the rest of my time at the carnival not talking about him."

Yuya flinches just a little at that. "Sorry," he mumbles hurriedly.

He shakes his head, though, at Strange's reasoning. He doesn't know exactly how much arguing Strange has done in the past few days, if he's exaggerating or serious, but he understands where at least part of it comes from. "Even if there's something different about Ignatius... he's hurt the carnival before. He's been with Fae who hurt the carnival, and people still remember that. It's going to be a lot harder for them to trust him. They don't understand why you do, and... there's just a lot of lashing out going on right now, right?"

Yuya has a feeling both sides are letting their tempers get the best of them, but that doesn't make them necessarily wrong, either. There's no right way to feel about any of this. "Everyone's going to have to talk about it eventually, and talk to him. But it's really hard right now, we need time."

Time that Yuya really hopes they're going to have, but he won't voice that little worry.

"I've been with fae who hurt the carnival before," Strange points out. People have come and gone but there's still enough here who remember Portland that it's worth bringing up. He did agree to help out Nightshade even before he was enthralled.

But he listens to the rest of Yuya's explanation and idly runs his hands over the grooves of the wife gem as he does so. And now they reach problem #2: Jonathan Strange isn't really patient. So Yuya's comment about needing time just makes him wrinkle his nose somewhat in annoyance.

"But how much time is enough? I waited a few days before bringing him up again—I knew that some people might still be mad, but surely that would have been enough time for people's tempers to cool."

Yuya decides not to point out the obvious difference there, which is that Strange didn't (could't) cause near the amount of trauma and damage the Fae themselves did, and being one of their lackeys isn't on the level of being part of their conquests. He pauses, instead considering the topci of Ignatius, but he realizes there probably won't be a satisfactory answer to this for Strange. So he shrugs.

"I don't know. It isn't just being mad, and it's different for everyone anyway. It's still a huge problem, so everyone's going to be worried about it. And you." He gives Strange a pointed look. He has to be aware he's still at least in some trouble, if he's concerned about having to serve Ignatius for eternity instead of being shown any mercy by the Fae.

"He's not going anywhere right now, and neither are you. If he's staying here then we'll have to talk to him eventually, so don't worry that it's not going to happen."

Okay but consider this: Strange wants to do the thing now. Yuya pointing out that Ignatius isn't going anywhere is sensible, but a part of Strange just wants to magic onto that island, talk to Ignatius right now, and figure out where to go from there, damn the consequences. He's really not good at waiting, and Strange's little frown communicates that perfectly.

Though he does squirm a little under Yuya's look when he points out that people worry about him. As odd as it seems, Strange forgets that occasionally. And yes, he's entirely aware of just how much trouble he's in, considering that his conversation with the Ringmaster and with Lambert both went slightly pear-shaped.

"I feel like I must do something though," he complains. But what that something is and how he can do it without more people fussing at him or further harming his case, Strange still doesn't have a clue.

Yuya draws his hand back, tapping his chin. "Why don't you talk to me about Ignatius first? I promise not to yell, and then maybe you'll have a better idea what you want to say to him when you can."

He smiles, genuine enough. Part of his intention is absolutely to distract Strange from actually disobeying the Ringmaster, but it also seems like he really needs to get some stuff off his chest.

Strange frowns a little, like he's not entirely sure that this could be as simple as 'just talk it out'...before giving in. This is Yuya, after all. If he says he won't yell, then he won't yell. And who knows, maybe actually talking about this will make him feel a bit better. Strange hasn't done much talking over the past week, just a lot of yelling and sulking.

"Take a seat," Strange starts, as he walks towards the trailer's table. After all, they might be here for a while. "Apparently someone was broadcasting our meeting with Ignatius through the radio. How much of that did you hear?"

Aka how much backstory does Strange need to give?

Yuya smiles victoriously, spinning on his heels to seat himself at the table. His tail curls around the leg of the chair while he rests his elbows on the surface.

His expression slips a little at having to recall the broadcast, however. "It was right when you agreed to go with him. It got really loud immediately, I heard Rita and Yuzu yelling at each other, and Zangetsu. That was before we found Steven." And before the Rose Queen found all of them.

There was a lot of yelling. Strange sits down next to Yuya, nodding slightly at his answer before, trying to deliberately stay calm, he continues talking.

"The terms of the deal were this: if one of us swore ourselves to him, he'd spare the group. I thought—" Strange catches himself for a moment, before shaking his head. It didn't matter what he thought, did it. What mattered was that he screwed up. "I think he turned me to ash. When he reformed me, I was in the Rose Queen's gardens. He told me that I was to be his soldier and that he respected my decision to offer myself up."

And Strange pauses for a moment as he tries to get an intensely guilty look off his face. Because he can't help it: hearing someone actually say the words 'I respect your decision' felt amazing. And it feels even more amazing considering half the time he makes a decision or proposes an action, it feels like half the carnival's ready to shout him down.

Yuya nods slowly, quiet as he considers what he already knows of Ignatius. He remembers him most prominently from the ritual, offering duels and generally wiping the floor with the carnival members.

His gaze flicks down at that, pursing his lips. "He's still working with the Rose Queen, right? Why do you think he wanted to make one of you his soldier?"

Yuya could guess a few reasons (like that's just what Fae do), but this talk is for Strange to get out his feelings, so Yuya's keeping the conversation as much on his opinion as possible.

"Because I'd be good at it," Strange explains, as if it's obvious. "Ignatius said that he 'read my ashes,' whatever that means. I assume that's his way of doing that looking through memories thing that the fae do. If he looked through my memories, he'd see that I fought in the peninsula, I've adopted my magic for combat, and that I'm a soldier for the carnival."

Well, was a soldier for the carnival. The conversation derailed away from that topic on the radio post but Strange is still a bit bitter at being removed from the nightrunners. Strange frowns a little, thinking as he tries to remember Ignatius's exact words and the gist of that conversation.

"He said it was noble? Being a soldier, that is. And I don't think he's wrong about that. After all, something can still be 'noble' but also be 'damned inconvenient.'" The first time around, Strange was super gung-ho to go to the peninsula. The second time around, not so much. That wouldn't remove any sense of nobility, though. Would it?

Yuya furrows his brow at the mention of the memory reading (that's so invasive), but he quickly shakes it off.

"No, I mean... Yuzu offered herself too, so he was going to take anyone, right? Why was he asking someone to sacrifice themselves in the first place?"

His tone is lightly curious, although he can't help the frown on his face. It doesn't seem like Strange was actually singled out by Ignatius initially. He wasn't a target, which is a relief after Nightshade but Yuya still wonders if abusing changelings is a perspective he believes as strongly as Portland.

Or maybe it was just to have leverage for the Blue Rose, Yuya would believe that too.

Oh. Make one of you his soldier. Not you specifically. Whoops. That's a valid question, though, and Strange frowns as he tries to think back and remember the details of the conversation.

"One of us had to offer ourselves up or he'd attack our party," Strange explains, but in a halting tone, as he's trying to remember the specifics. "So that would mean he was also fine with not attacking our party. But I saw what he did to Lambert and the rest during the rescue mission—he could have easily killed us all where we stood."

But he didn't. But he could. And for someone as show-offy as Strange is, the idea of having magical power but not using it is a little bit confusing. Granted, he's thankful that they all didn't get charbroiled where they stood. But again, why didn't they? Did Ignatius not want any collateral damage? Did Ignatius not want to hurt anyone to begin with?

One thing's for certain: Strange is not vocalizing that line of thought to anybody else except Yuya (and possibly Ignatius himself).

Yuya folds his arms on the table. That makes enough sense, doesn't it? But the last time they saw this...

"The Prince kidnapped people so he could hold them against the Ringmaster, right? The Rose Queen wanted the Rose, but the Summer Court is only after her because of the Winter Queen." It's slightly off topic, but he's trying to piece together the story. Changelings mean nothing to most Fae, but how many of them know the Ringmaster doesn't see it that way?

"Ignatius didn't try attacking anyone first?"

"The Rose Queen wants Steven also," Strange clarifies. "And Nightshade attacked Lambert just because she could when the two ran into each other in Wismuth." Strange isn't entirely certain where Yuya's going with this, if anywhere, but he'll offer up some clarifications and explanations as well.

"But no, he didn't try attacking anyone first. It might have been the same when Lambert and the rest summoned me in the Athenaeum. At first, Ignatius tried to teleport us away. It was only when Zangetsu did something to the building we were in to trap both of us there that he told me to ki—to attack the four of them."

Of course, Strange has absolutely no clue what happened before the rescue team summoned him to the Athenaeum. None of them looked too burned or wounded, at least.

"I know that. Once she had Steven she let the rest of us leave." But then she used him to try and get the Blue Rose, so that wasn't the end of her coming after the carnival anyway.

He lifts his head up a little, resting his cheek on his hand. "I just wonder why he made that deal in the first place, instead of killing everyone or just taking someone by force if he was kidnapping people." He wrinkles his nose a little. "Did he say anything about that?"

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