"Everything," Childermass answers sourly and looks away, scowling across the pool of water instead. You'd think he would be glad to have that done and over with but he can't find any joy in it right now. "It's still a little scattered but it's all there. I never forgot that I loved someone, you know? I just couldn't place a name and face with it, all we've been through together. It was so frustrating and when no one said anything about it, I was left assuming the worst. This entire time..."

He has to stop for a breath or two, forcing another bout of panic or anger down, even if he already sounds miserable about the entire ordeal. It passes. He continues.

"All these days thinking you were dead and gone and all I wanted to do was give up but you just didn't want to tell me."