lostcarnival | TOO LATE TO 'POLOGIZE

Entry tags:

TOO LATE TO 'POLOGIZE

Who: Gink and Psii
Where: Ginko's Trailer
When: A bit ago.
What: Psi feels the need to apologize.
Warnings: None

He feels bad. He doesn't hate apologizing, he knows it's the right thing to do, especially if he's in the wrong. This time though, the thought of apologizing stings. He know's Ginko didn't mean anything by it. That was probably a normal human thing to tease someone about. Still, he couldn't help hearing it and thinking of home. Alternia with it's egotistical high bloods lording their every advantage of everyone else. He couldn't help the twinge of anger it gave him. To be reminded of that here, well, it sucked. He ignores the feelings, pushing them down as he knocks on Ginko's trailer door.

He'd just have to suck it up. Suck it up and apologize. Don't be a dick.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Honestly, Psi was the last person Ginko expected to see so soon after... what happened. While he still can't be totally sure of just where he went wrong, he can tell it had to do with what he said about Psi's age.

...Which he had several chances to lay off on.

Dammit.

Ginko's reaction when he opens the door isn't really too visible - just a slight raise of his eyebrows, a tinge of uncertainty crossing his face. "...Hey."

It's too subtle, and Psi is too focused on his own feelings to notice. When he does glance up to Ginko he ends up thinking the human looks the same as he always does, calm and distant. That's annoying in it's own way, but Psi is determined to push away any of his own negative feelings for now. He knows Ginko is a good guy who didn't mean anything by his comment, so he deserves an apology. He nods in agreement with himself before sheepishly smiling in Ginko's direction.

Even ignoring his annoyance over what happened situations like this were always awkward.

"Yeah. Hey. I guess I just wanted to, uh, apologize, over the way I acted the other day."

He's not studying his feet, but he isn't meeting Ginko's gaze anymore either.

Now, if Psi were looking at Ginko's face, his confusion might be a little more evident.

"...What do you mean?"

Is this about telling Silver dick jokes??

Psi is confused as well. He thought it was obvious, what he was apologizing for.

"I mean, I think I yelled at you, and stuff." Ginko had to remember. It hadn't been that long ago, although it'd been a day at least.

"About... Age or whatever." Just saying it left a sour taste in his mouth.

"...Oh. Right." Now Ginko's gaze drops to the ground, and his ears twitch back a little.

"That... wasn't your fault. I should've backed off, but I didn't; I'm sorry. I was the one who messed up."

There's something irritating about that response. Probably the way it makes the Psionic feel actually guilty for what he did. He yelled at someone who didn't even know why they were being yelled at. He frowns, looking down at the space between them.

"No... It was mine. You didn't even know what you were saying, but I let myself get mad anyway."

Maybe he really was just some dumb kid. He should be better at this by now. It's been a while since he's let his temper get the best of him. Maybe mistakes like this were inevitable.

"Well... no, I didn't, but I should've been able to tell that what I was saying was bothering you."

It seems pretty simple to him. He'd gotten plenty of warning that Psi didn't just see it as friendly ribbing the way Ginko meant it; it's his own fault that he didn't pick up on that. He should have known better.

The Psiioniic sighs, shaking his hand as though to dissipate the apology. He knows Ginko is just being honest, but it's annoying to argue over an apology, especially when he's already annoyed by the whole situation in the first place.

"Don't. You're not an empath. You shouldn't have anything. I tease people all the time here, I was the one who made it personal."

He says it voice flat and expression blank.

"Unless you're actually a mind reader I don't need to hear you apologize."

In which case Ginko secretly reading his mind would be a much bigger affront. The corner of his lip curves up just a bit at the thought.

Ginko is quiet for a moment, still staring downward. His tail moves to curl slowly around his ankles. That second comment, at least, gets a quiet snort and something vaguely resembling a smile. "Yeah, I can... say for sure I'm not that. But I..."

Then he shakes his head slightly, and finally looks up. "...Right, I... I accept your apology, then. ...And I'll try not to do that again."

He doesn't see much reason to keep arguing about this, but he's not dropping that part.

Psiioniic didn't expect him to give up so easily, but he isn't complaining. He doesn't need anyone blaming themselves for his overreaction. Especially someone who isn't an active pain in the ass, like Gilgamesh, or Junko. He runs a hand through his bangs, brushing them to the side.

"Thank you. It's... Kind of a sore subject. I guess." He tries not to look as cynical as he feels making the comment.

It was a sort of miserable coincidence that he'd left a place he'd been trying so hard to change only to come somewhere that didn't need any change at all. He should have been happy about it when he first got here. He was now, sort of, but it had been a difficult adjustment. It was like he'd been fighting for so long he'd forgotten how to stop. That was all a long time ago now, but things like this made it easy to remember. It also made it difficult not to compare the person he was then with the person he was now.

"How so? You... don't have to tell me if you don't want to, of course."

He frowns, debating the pros and cons of explaining what he means. Human culture seemed a lot different from Alternia, but even the humans at the carnival weren't all from the same place.

"Do they have... Something like rank where you're from? Like, a way of deciding who's in charge?"

Ginko frowns thoughtfully and reaches up to rub at his head. This is... not exactly something he knows a lot about, but he guesses he can try.

"Well... sort of, I guess, but it differs depending on where you are and what group you're looking at. Village elders are different from having a boss at your job, and so on. But I guess... usually it's someone who's been there a long time and has gained a lot of respect among those around them."

His frown only deepens. He was hoping there'd be something similar he could compare this too, but it seemed there wasn't. On Alternia trolls who were around a long time demanded respect, but they didn't always deserve it, and they'd rarely done anything to gain it either. He shakes his head leaving that train of thought behind.

"Trolls have different blood colors. The color of your blood determines your natural life span, among other things. Long lived castes rule over the younger ones and they have a tendency to treat us like inept children."

There, that was a short concise explanation. It would probably make sense, or at least he hoped it did. It would probably be hard to give more details with that if he wanted to keep his cool.

He listens carefully, his ears swiveling forward a bit on reflex, as if to be sure he doesn't miss anything.

...Oh.

Oh.

"...I'm sorry." His hand stays where it is, fingers curling slightly in his hair. There's really no point to saying he didn't know; the Psionic knows that, it's why this whole conversation is happening.

He closes his eyes and sighs. There didn't seem to be any point in telling Ginko it was fine. Still, it wasn't like there was much else to say.

"It's really... Fine. I'm the only troll here so things can be different."

He liked different. In a way the carnival had saved him, though he felt strange thinking of it like that.

"It's better if it's something that's decided by respect."

"That's... that's good. Different seems pretty ideal in that situation." He finally lets his hand drop back to his side, and, after a moment of aimless fidgeting, shoves it into his pocket.

"Yeah, I'd say so. Guess there's still usually an element of age to it where I'm from, too, but... well, humans mostly have around the same lifespan, barring anything going really wrong."

"I know. Some people think we'd be lost without the guidance of our long lived members. If only I could show them how well humanity seems to manage." he comments darkly, his distaste clear. It's perhaps one of the few times he's been openly cynical, at least since Ginko's started working here.

The truth is even if he told those people of humanities success they wouldn't care. All other species were weak in comparison to the minds of many trolls. Even the Psionic found himself ignorantly going along with that kind of thinking every now and then. Of course expecting trolls to respect member's of another race when they couldn't even respect members of their own was a pointless task.

"But I guess if you live for thousands of sweeps it must be awfully hard to care about the concerns of someone who's only 20."

As though the fact that they were younger made their concerns less valid. It was disgusting. He hated it.

He shakes his head, feeling more than a bit embarrassed.

"Anyway I should leave you to whatever you were doing."

Edited 2016-12-10 05:32 (UTC)

Ginko's ears droop slightly. He's not sure he's seen the Psionic like this before, at least not enough to remember - not that he can blame him for being upset about all this. "Guess so."

He lifts a hand hurriedly, waving off that dismissal, or at least any embarrassment surrounding it. "No, it's-- it's fine. I wasn't busy, anyway. Uh... I'm glad you told me this."

Edited 2016-12-10 05:56 (UTC)

It's a weird thing to hear, I'm glad you told me. It's the kind of thing a moirail would say, and while Psi was normally pretty flirtatious he didn't treat the pale quadrant with the same carelessness he did all the others. Needless to say the comment gives him pause. He knows humans don't have the same kinds of romance trolls do, but that only makes Ginko's words even more confusing.

"You're glad?"

"Well... yeah. You could've just told me you had personal reasons to be annoyed, but you went to the trouble of actually explaining - and you can say you owed it to me or something like that all you want, but I still appreciate it."

He glances away again with a quiet laugh. "...Besides, this seems like the kind of thing that'd be frustrating not to have people around you know about. It's good you mentioned it for your sake, too."

You're one to talk, Ginko.

He blushes, the glowing freckles on his face dimming briefly as though he's decided to try and hide from Ginko's explanation. His blood isn't the yellow it used to be, now a bright purple similar to the fae mark on his skin, so his blush isn't the golden hue it always used to be, but it is there and clearly visible. He looks at the ground, trying to hide the spontaneous reaction even though he's still feeling a bit too flustered to successfully do so.

He nods, still staring at the floor. It is frustrating sometimes, but telling people was troublesome in its own way. He can't admit that without feeling like he's beginning to pale flirt though, so he doesn't.

"Well... Uh... Thanks for listening."

Edited 2016-12-11 01:57 (UTC)

...Okay, that is unexpected. Ginko tries not to react too much, for the sake of not embarrassing the Psionic further, but there's no hiding the slight raise of his eyebrows. He's not sure he's ever seen a reaction like this from Psi.

This... has been a pretty unusual conversation, hasn't it.

"Yeah. No problem." It seems like he's about done for now, so Ginko starts to step back inside. Before he closes the door, though, he pauses. "...If you need to talk more or anything, you know where to find me."

And then, far from telling him off, which is what Psionic expects, Ginko invites the Psionic to tell him more about himself whenever he feels like it. His face feels hot. This isn't possible, there is no way this human is actually pale flirting with him, is there? He really doesn't know. How else was he supposed to read this!? He nods, mutely accepting Ginko's offer as words have become quite difficult at the moment.

"...Right." Suddenly self-conscious, Ginko goes to rub at the back of neck before taking hold of the door again. "Uh... I'll see you around, then."

With that, he pulls the door shut, leaving Psi outside the trailer.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

TOO LATE TO 'POLOGIZE

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject