lostcarnival | OPEN: New Beginnings In Stranger Places

Who: Dr. Helen Magnus and [You]
When: Day 92
Where: Roaming around, a little lost
What: Arrival, getting her bearings, etc. etc.

Adventure was something Helen Magnus never shied from and exploring the vastness of the underground Sanctuary, far beyond those walls was something she couldn't deny herself. So it was that she found herself here, under contract to the Ringmaster with her eyes wide with wonder at it all. The lights and colours, the excitement, the darker elements shining through here and there. It was as familiar as it was alien and she drank it in with an eagerness she had long felt lacking. It stirred her as she moved through tents, passed people much like her who had joined perhaps years before her. A bright flash of a tail there, wings, glowing skin, all of these people becoming Abnormals or were in the beginning. The sheer fascination would have been enough, really.

"Excuse me?" she asked, reaching out to catch the attention of one of the people she had fallen into step with, "I seem to have found myself a bit lost. I was looking for the medical tent and I seem to have completely gotten myself turned around. If you could point me in the right direction, I'd be most grateful."

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"Fascinating. And horrifying."

He seemed quite into her story, as much as it sounded like outright fiction, he certainly knew better now how real the impossible had truly become. Well, it was fascinating from an objective point of view, probably not so exciting from the actual victim's point of view. But that's how Sherlock thought with even the most gruesome of murders. He'd trained his mind to divorce his feelings in order to look at things objectively.

A thoughtful look, before he answered again.

"To be fair, I was injured at the time, and suffering from the effects of blood loss and whatever nonsense being enthralled by a vampire had done to me. I was no longer enthralled at that point, but they had pulled something...I don't know...what I was trying to suppress...instincts..." he seemed embarrassed. "Anyway, I was in a lot of pain, and the first thought I had was to lash out mindlessly."

A muscle in his jaw twitched.

"I...was also coming off of the effects of a variety of mind-altering substances."

"So much of life is," she murmured. There is a look of sympathy, a kindness, but not pity for the situation. Her eyes say she has seen many things and been through them herself.

"That does not sound like a particularly pleasant situation to be in," Helen said, her voice soft and carrying a note of kindness with it. "Pain alone can be enough to make anyone lash out and mind-altering substances can make even the simplest things into your worst nightmare. I can't imagine the effect that had on you but it sounds absolutely terrifying."

Her thoughtful words and sympathy resonated with him greatly, though he felt rather guilty about it, as with most things it seems as of late.

"I was high of my own accord," he admitted, his voice tensing even as he tried to sound casual. "That place...before the vampires attacked, it was--it offered anything a person could ever want. Which turned out to be a very bad thing, we were caught off guard and I was completely useless when they came."

He seemed quietly furious with himself.

"They took the kids, they turned them into vampires...if maybe I hadn't been blitzed I would have been able to save some of them. At least they were rescued, though I couldn't do a thing about that either because I was recuperating."

Bitter, him? Nah.

"Sherlock," Helen's voice was a soft murmur. "You cannot dwell in maybes and ifs. Those are the things that eat away at you until all you have left is guilt and bitterness and perhaps a little madness. I know all too well what it is like to be unable to stop something like that, only the end I saw was not as promising as your own."

Her hand gently settled on his shoulder.

"I lost my daughter and the guilt, the pain, the madness of it nearly consumed me. There were moments where ifs and maybes were all I could see, all I wanted to see. But in the end, I had to let go for the sake of my friends, colleagues, and the patients who depended on me to keep them safe." She let out a soft sigh and squeezed his shoulder in firm but light support.

"Next time when a dangerous situation arises," she said with a small smile, "you will know better than to let your senses become blinded." She leaned in to catch his eyes, her own bright and honest. "You need them to be sharper than they have ever been, especially here. But first you need to do a difficult thing, you need to take that guilt and channel it into every skill you have and you need to have as much faith in yourself as I have, right now, in you."

Helen searched his face, a half-smile on her own.

"And if ever you need a shoulder or a someone to sit and talk with, my door is always open for you. Some things cannot be undone but that does not mean you are useless. It simply means that you must grow."

His eyes focus on her, floored and astounded that she could have lost her daughter and still remained so wise, and extending this kindness to him even with such a thing capable of rending one immobile with regret.

...you need to have as much faith in yourself as I have, right now, in you.

His brows furrowed, it had been a long time since even John had said that to him. She scarcely knew him, and every bit of his deductions told him that she was being sincere.

And that...that was everything to him.

Maybe she just hasn't been around long enough to see his bad side. Everyone got fed up with him eventually.

"Y...yes, well, I might have to take you up on that," Sherlock's voice cracked slightly as he tried to keep it as neutral as possible.

Oh Helen, even if it doesn't last, as he expects it to not, you've just made a friend.

"Please do, any time of the day or night," she said and then laughed softly as she realised they'd completely derailed the one thing they'd come for.

"I fear we have forgotten the tea," Helen murmured, easing herself away to take care of the now madly whistling kettle. "Let me remedy that and get us a proper cup."

Helen could never be insincere around a man who reminded so dearly of her best friend. Though he may be different in some respects, he is someone she will always believe in. With his sharp deductive skills, brusque manner, and everything else that makes him himself, he is still human. On her part, she will always support him and if he thinks it may not last, well...Helen Magnus makes it a point to keep her friends for life.

Surprise, Mr. Holmes.

She returns with tea not long after and offers a cup of tea that on the first sip of her own reminds of studying medicine at Oxford, turning pages and comparing notes with James Watson and Nikola Tesla. They have come a long way from those days.

"I think," she says after a long but comfortable silence, "that I will like it here." Helen glances over at him with a fond smile. "And it has been an absolute pleasure meeting you. I could not have asked for better time spent."

Knowing the kind of life he led, that offer would probably be taken up sooner rather than later.

"Oh! The tea!" This was why other people back home usually made the tea, rather than himself. He'd end up wandering away to tend to an experiment or get lost in thought on the couch. He burst into laughter, a rare thing these days.

"Thank you," he said sincerely, cupping a hand around it, taking a sip and feeling more like himself, than he did in ages. Never mind how his tongue flicked out to taste the scent floating up in the steam. Nostalgia was, logically speaking, pointless sentiment, but he was certainly not going to say no to indulging in it from time to time.

His face softened when she said that. He was not used to making friends so easily, he had zero friends for much of his life, and only John for some time until the others came into his life--or he realized they'd been his friends all along. But he was a lonely man for much of his adult life, his arrogant and rude ways had all but guaranteed it.

What could he say? What was he supposed to say? He had very little social data to fall back on. He seemed nervous suddenly, floored, and tongue-tied.

"I--ah...thank you." A pause. "And likewise," he added quickly. He meant it though, truly. He found her brilliant and fascinating, and unbelievably kind.

OPEN: New Beginnings In Stranger Places

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