(no subject)

[mirrortide]

Who: Lapis, Peridot & Lambert (later)
When: Between Week 2 and Week 3
Where: Peridots House
What: hormonal young adults
Warnings: its steamy and then extremely not steamy who trusted me to write this description ITS LEWD


Lapis likes to believe that the only reason she bothers coming to Lamberts' house now that her unwanted dog visitor has departed is because of Pumpkin, and certainly not the vague feelings of comfort and familiarity that Peridots' presence brings. Unfortunately while she can verbally deny such things, she's still drawn in by the other girl all the same.

Maybe it's just hormones. It's probably hormones, right? Lapis leans over Peridot, resting her arms and weight on her shoulders and looking around to her current studies

"Multi-universe theory." She comments, a hint of disappointment. Of course it's weird stuff. Why wouldn't it be weird stuff? Why wouldn't her life just give her something normal to deal with for once? "Seriously? Don't you have better hobbies?"

Comments

[periphrasing]

The real tragedy here is that all of this happened so quickly that, even though Peridot had picked up on the sound of her brother approaching the door with her ridiculous bat hearing, there was no way on earth that she could have reacted quickly enough to avert this disaster without somehow breaking several laws of physics. When she recounts this moment upon later reflection, she's going to remember it all like it happens in slow motion: the footfalls in the hall coming closer and closer. The turning of the knob, the door creaking open right as Lapis puts her stupid attractive mouth on her stupid neck again--

And here they are. Peridot is frozen as well. Her eyes are straining to the side, unable to tear her gaze away from Lambert while he struggles to figure out what to do with his face, she herself experiencing a panic so intense her brain just stops and blanks itself out. This is literally the worst thing that has ever happened to her in her entire life. She is never going to live this down? Her life is ruined. She is never going to be able to look Lambert in the eye again, part of her is thinking that she should shove Lapis off to try to save face but she finds herself quite unable (or perhaps just disinclined, still) to disentangle herself from the other woman, so. Yeah. They're all just going to sit/stand here frozen and stare at each other in silence for a second, Lambert being Lambert, Peridot and Lapis still comically tangled up in each other like a pair of horny teenagers. And as the nanoseconds tick by, fraction by fraction, Peridot's stress levels continue to spike until--

Poof. OUTRAGED SQUEAK.

Because of the way Lapis had her hand up Peridot's shirt, the garment is still suspended in the air, but now there's a bat butt hanging out the end of it, and the rest of Peridot is still trapped somewhere inside of it.

"H-HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF KNOCKING!?!" the shirt squawks, breaking the silence at last.

[whattaprick]

A better man would have turned and left them to their privacy. A better man is not Lambert. Peridot's outburst seems to break the spell and he slouches, resting a shoulder against the doorframe. Notably, he's doing absolutely nothing to help Peridot out of her predicament, his gaze focused solely on Lapis, who he's regarding with raised brows.

"So ..." he drawls, slow and drawn out. "Since when, exactly, have you been canoodling my sister?"

If he pretends the bat isn't capable of talking, surely that's a valid strategy for pretending it's not Peridot, isn't it?

[mirrortide]

Lapis takes a moment to regain her own composure between the fact that the person she had been macking on was now a bat and the fact that she'd been caught macking on said bat. Thankfully not as a bat, because that would certainly lead to far more questions than Lapis wants the answer for.

Her expression finally drops, and she puts the shirt which contains Peridot down on the bed, smoothing it out around the bat as she does her best to pretend like she's organizing a days outfit.

"No clue what you're talking about. I'm getting an outfit ready for her because she's incapable of putting something together that looks nice herself. Besides, canoodling would mean she's here, and she left like five minutes ago to go do some nerdy thing."

If Lapis tries hard enough, she can ignore the fact that her bra clasp is now very uncomfortably digging into her shoulder.

[periphrasing]

...Canoodling?

Irate bat noises emanate from the shirt, which wriggles and writhes for a second until Peridot finally gives up on trying to escape and just lays there. She lets out a prolonged, mortified groan that lasts the duration of the conversation, trailing off into an unpleasant creak.

"I hate both of you so much right now," the bat moans, fully expecting them both to just keep ignoring her.

[whattaprick]

Look, if he uses a hokey word to talk about it, the less he has to contemplate the thought of his adopted sister getting it on with anyone, all right?

That's a very obvious lump of irate bat in the middle of that shirt there, Lapis, but at least you tried. Lambert raises a brow, but his only response is to cross his arms and look consideringly. Lapis doesn't lose her cool often, and it's probably the most he's ever seen her emote.

So he looks at the lumpy shirt on the bed, grins, and blithely keeps going onward: "She must like you a lot, if she's taking fashion advice from you. But I don't really think that's her color."

[mirrortide]

There is no bat.

"I can see your point, about the colour." She grabs the bat containing shirt and- drops it on the floor. Sorry, Peridot. "Unfortunately i'm working with what I have. And your sister doesn't know how to dress herself." Sorry, Peridot.

Lapis does tap her chin thoughtfully, though. "Most of my outfits are blue or dark blue. Also she doesn't exactly seem like the sort who'd be able to pull off a dress or full length skirt. Any ideas?"

[periphrasing]

Like this situation being utterly humiliating wasn't bad enough, now they're both dragging the way she dresses, too? That.... Actually kind of hurts more than she'd like to admit. Yeesh.

Said shirt makes a miserable noise and clumsily drags itself under the bed and out of sight to do some sulking. CLEARLY SHE'S NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED ANYWAY. Or respected enough for her brother to take a hint and get the fuck out of here. GUESS SHE'LL DIE.

[whattaprick]

"Fashion's not really my thing," Lambert says, with a shrug. Look at him, Lapis, he's a fucking nerd. He's the last person to be criticizing Peridot on her fashion sense.

Although he does have to ask, faux innocently, "But I didn't know you paid so much attention to what my sister wears."

[periphrasing]

("LEAVE!!!" A disembodied voice bellows in desperation from somewhere under the bed.)

[mirrortide]

The voice doesn't even seem to phase Lapis, who continues on like everything is normal. Including the now extremely painful sensation of a crooked bra strap digging into her shoulder. It's awful.

"Of course I do. I pay attention to what everyone wears. You could do with a good wardrobe change too." She points out, quite literally. "Does it run in your family or something?"

he's gone for now, but HE WILL BE BACK

[whattaprick]

"What's wrong with my clothes?" Lambert glances down at that, his own nose wrinkling. Seriously, he doesn't see what's wrong with slumming around in two layers of sweatpants, a henley, and a hoodie. It's not like he has anywhere to be, this is his own house, after all.

"Since you're obviously busy enough with Peridot," he adds, glancing over at the bed and its miserable resident beneath. "I'll leave you to it." And with a jaunty little wave, he's retreating from the room, snickering under his breath.

[periphrasing]

Peridot's ears angle forward from where she is under the bed, listening keenly to make absolutely certain Lambert is actually gone and not just hovering somewhere nearby like a weirdo.

"...That was easily the most mortifying thing that has ever happened to me," she says faintly. "Literally. Ever."

[mirrortide]

Unfortunately, now Lapis has to make A Choice. Does she answer Peridot when she's likely still in her bat form and blow her own (poor) cover? Or does she ignore Peridot until she climbs out from under the bed hopefully in a more human form.

Lapis is, naturally, silent as she debates the merit of both options. After some deliberation, she does finally speak up. She'll deny everything if Peridot is still a bat when she comes out.

"You should really invest in a lock for your door."

[periphrasing]

"I have a lock," the bat whines defensively, still completely out of sight. That's the most tragic part of this. The equipment to stop it from happening was all right there. They had just failed to engage it, in the heat of the moment.

More silence stretches before Peridot creaks: "You can go ahead and leave now. I'm just going go ahead and die under here... of shame..."

[mirrortide]

Lapis instead chooses to cross her legs on the bed and put her chin in her hand. "You can't actually die of shame. Believe me, I've tried." She moves again, this time to fix her bra clasp while there isn't actually anyone around to intrude on it.

"Next time it'll be locked. For sure. Could also throw a sock on the door knob to make the message more clear." Because that's the universal sign for Getting Laid, Don't Bother Me. At least, that's what it is in the college dorm rooms.

[periphrasing]

"Well there's not going to be a 'next time', unfortunately, because this is where I live now," Peridot insists stubbornly.

[mirrortide]

"Seriously? Get out from under there. I guarantee you're not the only person on this planet who has had family walk in on them when things started getting hot and heavy." So there.