lostcarnival | [closed] this is stupid

Foster doesn't say anything. He doesn't break eye contact, but there's no antipathy in it, no cunning smile, no partially-lidded stare.

It pulls him down into a nauseous sensation--not disappointment, which has been a constant feature of his every day life--but something unpleasantly trenchant, something deeper, more sinking.

Ginko has enough time to stare into his pie while Foster takes Sans' taunt into full account. And his lips part, maybe he's even about to speak--

But he doesn't.

Ginko does.

Foster looks at him, the space between his brows creased with disbelief. The look is somewhere up there with 'he opened his mouth and a long party horn noise came out' for utter incomprehension.

Sans's eyes flash, an edge of anger there only for those that can actually read his face. Ginko's retort catches him off guard - not the words so much as the fact that he'd have to gall to make an argument in the first place. After this... After actively working against him.

"You think so, huh?" The anger still doesn't appear in his voice, but the detached nature of it is probably more telling than outright fury. "You sure about that? If you're the expert, why didn't you talk to Ringmaster about it? Or even me, if you thought you could stomach it."

Sans hadn't even thought he was mad either - not till they ended up here. Not till he saw this.

"Pretty brave of you to stand up for a guy who'd kill children just to make a point. What noble charge are you gunna pick next?"

That detachment is... definitely making him nervous. His voice stays steady, but his discomfort is probably just as obvious as Sans' anger all the same. "I... I didn't think I could," he admits. "But... if he had Mimikyu for a while, I'm sure he could prove that he can handle it."

...Either that's about the mushi thing or there's something else that he hasn't heard about. He glances questioningly at Foster. "Is... there something I should know about?"

The 'good' news is it only takes a couple of seconds for that feeling to dissipate, leaving him intensely aware of his hopelessness in this situation, but nothing more. The bad... well, 'bad'... is that Ginko has apparently lost his entire mind, which isn't necessarily something Ginko can afford to lose to begin with.

"....drop it." It's a little sharp, mostly out of bitterness.

Edited 2017-09-30 03:07 (UTC)

Did Ginko just... not understand what he said...? For a long few moments, Sans is at a loss. His eyes widen slightly, caught by surprise yet again. He's so stunned, that what he says next is only half present, the lights gone from his eyes:

"Ask me about the Pokemon one more time and I'm recommending a formal punishment for the both of you."

He's staring at Ginko as he speaks.

Ginko's hands tighten slightly on the edges of the pie tin, and he starts to open his mouth again. Then closes it. Then he does speak, albeit quietly.

"...It was my idea. Don't... whatever happens, Foster shouldn't be blamed."

Foster stares at Ginko, his mouth a tight line.

After a few seconds of silence, his gaze drops to the ground, the crease in his brows deepening to a furrow.

What did Sans say...

You had to know this wasn't gonna go how you wanted.

No.

Of course not.

Foster never got what he wanted. He was never meant to have what he wanted--

That was the point.

That was always the point.

"Haha."

It's not funny.

But it is. It's funny only because it isn't, only because he has literally no ability to feel anything in this moment, when he knows he should.

It's funny because he knew--he should have known--this would be the outcome all along, and yet somehow dared to expect otherwise. And now he's... upset about it?

"You're correct not to trust me," he informs Sans--suddenly cavalier, suddenly indifferent, as though he didn't want to fucking scream, because he does. And because he does, because he does, it doesn't matter what he says--and that makes it all fall into place.

What was Ginko thinking? Let him have Mimikyu so he can prove himself...? Prove himself what? That he can handle what?

No. The only thing he should ever be prepared to handle is pain. Is disappointment. Is dying. That's all.

That's all!

Ginko might as well have lobbed that entire pie directly into Sans' face.

But.... really, it ~~was~~ wasn't Ginko's fault he was duped by Foster.

"I'm dangerous. I'm vile. A faithless, deceitful malicious... would-be-murderer!" His gesture is dramatic, throwing one furry paw out wide as his internal momentum builds, first in fits and starts and then too fast, words backing up inside of him to smoke and smoulder while the pressure climbs and climbs and he can't get it out fast enough--!

"You're right, you're right to mistrust me... you were there! I'm nasty, I'm dishonest, I'm abnormal. My happiness... my peace will always come at the expense of others. If I benefit, everyone else will lose. So this... this is the only way to make things right for you. Antagonise me, deny me what I want! That's how it works."

Foster may as well be reciting the alphabet for all it impacts Sans emotionally. He's heard this song and dance before, and whether or not it's sincere, it's too distracting and manipulative for him to buy it. So, instead of focusing in on the bullshit Foster is spewing, Sans keeps his eyes on Ginko.

His teeth grind.

"And what good is you taking the blame gunna do, huh? You actually gunna take it to heart? You gunna do something about it?" He snorts. "That's a joke."

Sans actually steps forward now, jerking a claw at Ginko's chest.

"Your contriteness means nothing, pal. You blame yourself for everything and you may as well be blaming yourself for nothing."

He knows that from experience. It's only then that he looks over to Foster, all seven of his eyes half-lidded with disinterest.

"And, Foster? If you want me to be your dominatrix so bad, you're gunna have to shell out and pay me."

Ginko winces, and he himself probably couldn't say whether it's more because of Foster's rant or Sans' retort. The former, though, he knows by now not to respond to.

He winces again, his eye locked on the ground. Once again, his reply is quiet and hesitant - but no less earnest than before.

"...What should I do?"

He doesn't know. He can hardly begin to figure it out on his own; accepting responsibility for what he brings on is one thing, even if everyone around him seems to object to even that. But what can he do about it? He's been here too long, gotten too involved, for leaving to be a solution. But leaving - removing himself from the situation, hoping that whatever damage he did can repair itself - is all he had the time to do before.

Now he has too much time, and too much pressure to find a new solution, and--

He doesn't know what Sans wants from him.

Foster is not as inconvenienced by Sans' dismissal as he might usually be. Not in spite of the sincerity encoded in his fractured disquisition, but because of it. The scrambled astasia of what comes out of his mouth is driven not by impulse but by compulsion; his disorganisation and endless repetition is probably the only thing preventing people from figuring him out.

Sometimes, this is a bad thing.

Right now, he's more than ready to let his message get lost.

Frankly, it's a better outcome than he was expecting. So even though he has his claws tangled in the side of his hair, saliva pooling in the empty spaces of his mouth, he doesn't try to dissuade Sans from blowing him off.

Besides, even he can halfway tell that this... whatever it is... is meant to be between Sans and Ginko.

"Fix something instead of just running away from it."

Sans's voice can't help but be softer, more level, at Ginko's earnest cluelessness. He's known their whole relationship that Ginko is messed up, and messed up in a way he personally recognizes. Maybe that's what makes it so painful to see him make the same mistakes over and over again.

"Being sorry isn't just about leaving the second things get hard. Even if you are really guilty of everything you think you are, do you really think that ditching out on the people you hurt is what they want? Taking away any chance they'll ever have of finding closure? It's really easy to tell yourself that the best thing you can do is remove yourself from the situation, because it means you don't have to be responsible for it anymore. But you are."

"Making amends means using words and actions to try to make things right. But I never saw you try. You definitely didn't between the two of us."

Which is the heart of it, right there. Sans finds it hard enough to get invested in a relationship as it is - feeling disposable after the fact strikes deep.

"Instead you just treat me like some obstacle to get around."

Admittedly, Ginko feels a little guilty about turning his attention away from Foster like this. But, uh. Foster won't want him to apologize, he can guess that much. And... now he's just trying to figure out how he can even answer Sans here.

"I..." He swallows hard, his brow furrowing. "I don't... know where to start. ...I don't know what you wanted me to say."

It's probably pretty clear that he's not even talking about this time now.

"You could start with 'sorry'."

Sans lowers his hand, still staring at Ginko. Some of the tension leaves his voice as he does like that request has unloaded a physical weight.

"If you really feel like you did something wrong. Or, if you don't... you could tell me the hell off. It's your call. Just do something. Doing nothing is the easy way out."

And doing nothing is something Sans did for a long time.

"...Right." So now, he is supposed to say sorry. But other times, if he tries, he just gets told off more. That... doesn't actually help much in the long run, and it probably shows in the doubt on Ginko's face.

At least now he knows what to do here. "Well... there's some stuff that I can't apologize for. But I am sorry I hung up on you. ...And that I didn't ask you about Mimikyu before... all this."

Foster doesn't understand half of what Sans and Ginko are talking about, making the overwhelming majority of their conversation meaningless to him. With a limited capacity to focus on anything he's not actively engaged in is minimal, he's already impatient--so when Ginko brings Mimikyu back up, he seizes the opportunity.

"So are we done here?"

He doesn't bother to ask if it's still a no.

He knows it won't happen.

"Ginko, give me the pie."

Edited 2017-10-01 16:56 (UTC)

"Shut up, Foster. You've got nowhere to be."

And that's all the attention Sans is paying to him for the moment. Instead, he keeps paying attention to Ginko whether Foster likes it or not.

"And that's fine. That's the part I actually cared about in the first place, fartmaster." An insult that juvenile must mean that he's less mad, right? "Don't leave people hanging like that. It's not right."

Underestimating your worth to other people can be incredibly selfish.

Ginko winces again, just a little - but Sans' comment is weirdly relieving to hear. "Right. I'll... keep that in mind."

He'll try, anyway.

Despite Sans' objection, he does pass the pie to Foster, glancing over at him uncertainly. He just hopes he's not planning to do something stupid with that.

At Sans' command, Foster.... shuts up. Immediately. And obediently.

He takes the pie from Ginko without a word, but he doesn't do anything with it now that it's in his paws. He actually seems fairly relaxed now. Placid, balancing the dessert carefully so as not to get his claws in the whipped topping.

But holding it like this, having time to think produces another impulse--one he has time to weigh against his initial intention, thanks to Sans. He knows one of them is... the 'right' one.

Right.

Right?

Does that make it... right, or 'right?'

Keep talking, guys.

You've bought yourself just a minute.

"Anyway..." Sans says after a moment, ostensibly fine with Ginko's response. Alright, well that's dealt with. Sort of, anyway. Good enough. He's basically finished here, except for a couple loose ends.

"I guess this is still some kind of... strike? Warning? Demerit? I don't know. You've done a bad in terms of the rules, and that doesn't get shrugged off based on our personal business."

He shrugs a shoulder.

"I'm heading back, and I recommend you guys do the same. There's nothing for you to find out here." He glances at Foster. "We'll be in touch, after I've spoken to the Ringmaster."

"Got it." He frowns down at the ground again, tail swishing back and forth, then glances at Foster again, as if checking to make sure that he's actually going to go.

Foster doesn't have a lot of time to make a decision. Sans is already leaving, and he's frozen, torn still between the need for a calculated act and his native, self-sabotaging impulses. No, more than that--Sans just gave them a clear order, one that includes neither of them, just turn away like he was commanded and obey.

But he's still--

He's still got this fucking pie.

"Wait."

He doesn't actually give Sans a chance to wait.

"Take the fucking pie." The instant he's said it, he knows he's fucked up. There's no decision making left. And no chance to take it back. He can't believe himself. He can't believe he just--he just fucking disobeyed--the one thing he should be able to do--!

"There's no point in me keeping it, if this was all pointless. Just give it to Mimikyu." He can't wave a paw dismissively because he's still supporting the banana pie between them, but he's already too aware of how he's fucked this up. This was... the wrong choice. He can already tell. But it's too late, he should have just thrown the pie on the ground and walked away. Spite. Obedience. Both.

Instead--

Well, he can still hope Sans will get mad at him. He doubts it, but he'd like it. Except he's clearly beneath Sans' notice in almost every way. He realises now that Sans wouldn't have even cared, were Ginko not involved. He probably wouldn't have even bothered to interrupt--just left Foster to his pathetic search, pawing pointlessly in filthy corners for a shadow that wasn't even there. To Sans, he must seem... not only dangerous, but petty, febrile. Being denied was the only right outcome for him. He's an insect, a vector for disease, a waste of space who doesn't deserve anything. How could he be angry? He should embrace it--

So what else is he supposed to do with an entire banana pie?

"It likes banana."

Sans gives him a weird look, as if Foster has done something he wasn't quiet expecting and he's still digesting the meaning of it. Still staring at Foster with all seven eyes, he's tentatively take the pie from him.

"Right. Sure," he says. "I'll do that."

And he does actually mean that. He glances back over to Ginko and offers him a brief salute, before taking a step back.

"G'night, guys."

And then he's gone.

[closed] this is stupid

Shhhh it's a phone tag

THANK GOD

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Caps aren't how you shhhh!

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gonna pause after this so raile can toss foster back in

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