lostcarnival | [closed] i don't know what else to say

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[closed] i don't know what else to say

Who: Ginko and Foster
When: D45
Where: The menagerie barn
What: Foster hassles Ginko about his boyfriend
Warnings: Foster van Denend

Things are… okay, at this point, he guesses. As much as they ever are. The worst thing that’s happened lately was that ‘invasion’ at the Space Olympics, and that was… more a nuisance than anything. Psi is back, and, with that, maybe his… feelings toward Joker will subside.

Things are okay.

As such, he can just do his work a pretty normal amount, instead of… you know, throwing himself into it to avoid thinking about his own feelings. Sure, he’d rather not think too much about the Joker situation, but it’s not so bad that he can’t distract himself with just his everyday routine.

At the moment, it’s about time to groom the mooshroom. He’s brought it into a stall already, and gone through greeting all the animals already staying there before he gets to actually hosing the weirdly rectangular bovine down. It’s… always sort of a strange process, caring for an animal that’s part fungus and made entirely of cubes, but he’s had time to get used to it.

Even if it still looks weird as hell.

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"Depends."

Foster's next question is fairly antagonistic--not in tone, but by its very nature.

"Is that all you have to say?"

Ginko isn't really subtle about his body language. He looks away, he turns his back, he avoids and evades pretty much any time he's uncomfortable... which is frequently.

This isn't about anything in particular, though--it's more like an aggregation, a conglomeration of a dozen, two dozen little things, some of which aren't even Ginko's business, but many of which are... very much about him, and Ginko knows it.

Goddammit.

Ginko keeps his eye locked on the mooshroom as he starts laying lines of shampoo across its back. But he knows better than to keep evading entirely; Foster is too stubborn, and too pushy, and sometimes, it seems, too determined to upset himself and everyone around him even if it resolves absolutely nothing.

"No. But it's nothing you want to hear, and nothing you don't already know."

Another moment's pause to start scrubbing the shampoo into the cow's side, avoiding the delicate mushrooms. But it's only a moment.

"I know you don't like that we're together, and that you two don't get along. I know that what I did in Portland was stupid, and impulsive, and selfish. I want to make it up to you, but I don't know how, and I know that asking or bringing it up will probably just upset you - which is why I didn't. I'm pretty sure you knew or could guess all that on your own. So, why are you asking?"

Foster gives Ginko a squinting look--they match now, one eye apiece, Ginko's missing left eye protected by a patch and Foster's (which isn't missing, really) covered with richly purple bracket fungus.

"I don't dislike that you're together," he replies, like Ginko just guessed his hair was black despite the fact that it's visibly not. But with that question, Foster suddenly has an inkling of the depths to Ginko's ignorance.

"You don't know what happened," he says, out loud--realising even as he speaks that there is no possible way to explain it and have it mean anything.

He turns away--to laugh.

That... is genuinely surprising. And sounds a little fake, if he's honest. He just stares dubiously at Foster - until he hears that addition.

"...What do you mean?"

Foster is silent, his tail switching at his ankles. It's impossible for Ginko to see with Foster's back turned the way it is, but he is thinking--his arms crossed, his clawtips pressed against his the bottom of his upper lip, just barely touching his sharp prehistoric teeth. His brow is furrowed over a neutral expression.

Trying to explain the Ritual himself guarantees Ginko will end up with an accurate accounting, at least as far as Foster knows the story--he was pretty unconscious after a certain point, but whatever happened after that part doesn't interest him. And he could tell Ginko, he could explain, again, but he's really tired of talking about the ritual. He's tired of talking about it and he's tired of being the only one to talk about it.

More to the point, sending Ginko to ask Psi would remind Psi of exactly what he did, and more importantly, remind Psi that Foster hasn't forgotten it either.

Will Psi actually tell Ginko, though? Or just blow him off, evade the truth out of selfish guilt....? That's a risk he's willing to take, he decides. It's not like Ginko knowing the specifics really matters, in the long run.

His mind made up, he looks back at Ginko. "I think you should ask Psi that question," he says, in a tone that is superficially congenial, but his intention is quite serious. "I think he knows." He pauses, then a little darkly, adds, "I hope he knows."

"...Right. I will." That is... a concerning answer, to say the least. He'd hoped Foster might at least tell him something, but maybe that was too much to ask. "Do you want me to call him right here, or...?"

He's assuming that's not the case. If it is, they might have a problem, because Ginko is sort of busy washing this mushroom cow.

Edited 2018-04-24 20:01 (UTC)

Good news, Ginko!

Foster also has hands.

It was not originally his intention, mind--he'd assumed that Ginko would blow him off, perhaps inform him that he was busy right now and would deal with it later, at which point Foster would spend a little more time rubbing things in before he took his leave.

But if Ginko insists...

Foster plucks the radio off the animal keeper's belt, fussing for several seconds over the dials. He then turns it back around, holding it up against Ginko's ear so that it's cradled comfortably in the heavy curve of his claws.

"Talk!"

Oh. Well. He'd meant that sarcastically, but here they are, he guesses.

Ginko presses his lips together, and, assuming Foster actually has it set to the right frequency, speaks up. "...Hey, Psi. Foster wants me to ask you something."

"Ginko!" Comes the happy voice from over the radio, and it's said loudly which may be uncomfortable for Ginko since the speaker is being held directly against his ear.

"What is it?"

He doesn't know Foster is also listening, of course. This is the Psionic's personal frequency, so he's comfortable assuming that Ginko's the only other person on the line.

Boy yeah that's not a great feeling. He jumps a little, then pulls in a breath. He's pretty sure this is going to get worse before it gets better, so he might as well get it over with.

"...Foster wants me to ask you about 'what happened'. Why you two get along so badly."

It's a hard question to answer. It's a question he doesn't want to answer. If it were anyone else asking he probably wouldn't. Even knowing it's just Ginko listening, he doesn't really want to tell him.

"That's..." He'd rather talk to him in person, but admitting that makes it sound even worse. "It's because of Portland, and the ritual."

Edited 2018-04-29 05:04 (UTC)

Of course. The ritual that Ginko... missed entirely, and knows nothing about. He frowns at a spot on the mooshroom's side for a moment, then resumes scrubbing as he replies.

"What happened at the ritual?"

"I..." he starts, trailing off as his mind blanks at actually explaining it. How could he explain it without stating so plainly what a terrible thing he had done? He'd done a lot of terrible things, of course, being the demon he was in that world, but this decision had been one he'd made with all his real memories intact. He couldn't blame it on his other self, it was something uniquely him.

"I remembered, who I was. The other me was Foster's partner... But once I realized what was at stake I couldn't. I mean."

He's not making any sense and he realizes it. He takes a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down and say things simply.

"I promised him I would stop the ritual, but when I remembered myself I changed my mind and I turned my back on him."

For a moment after Psi finishes speaking, Ginko is quiet. So, that's it. He keeps himself from looking at Foster, just staring steadily at his work as his brow creases.

"...That explains a lot," he replies, finally. "Was that it, or was there more?"

Even if that really was the only problem, it does go a long way to explaining Foster's bitterness toward Psi. But he wants to be sure.

He laughs bitterly.

"Does there need to be?"

There may have been other smaller things, but nothing the Psionic knew of. He suspected Foster was resentful of some of the Psionic's decisions regarding his treatment, but nothing he knew for certain.

"Ask him, maybe he knows more."

"...I will. Thanks for telling me this; I'll... see you later."

Now, he does look to Foster. There we go, he asked and was told what Psi knew.

Now what?

Foster doesn't say anything; he stands patiently, an impassive expression on his face while he waits for the characteristic feedback of the signal cut.

Once he has that, he takes the radio away from Ginko's face, but his expression doesn't change.

"He forgot to tell you about the contract he wanted to forge with the Ringmaster afterwards," he notes, glancing Ginko's radio over once before hooking it back onto the man's belt. It's one of the worst-looking machines in the Carnival, doubtless because it's Ginko's and he wears it in the barn.

Foster turns away, to all appearances ready to leave--but he's still talking.

"...but stopping the Ritual wasn't the only option he had, either."

"Then, you tell me." Now that he's freer to move around, he goes to start on the mooshroom's other side. But he watches Foster on and off as he does, rather than keeping his eye locked strictly on his work.

"Yeah? What other option did he have?" He's kind of suspecting it'll be something Psi wouldn't actually be able to do, like killing Foster. But he can't be sure, so his question is just that: A question.

Honestly, at this point, he's still not even sure what he thinks of all this. Clearly, Psi screwed up, but it sounds like there's more to it than that.

One way or another, all he can think to do is reserve judgment, and... process it all when he's not on the job, he guesses. It's... fine, probably.

Edited 2018-05-01 17:35 (UTC)

Foster stops a few yards away, apparently done with being that close to Ginko, or the mooshroom, or maybe just making a point.

He stops, and he looks back at Ginko with a stare that could honestly be called 'withering.'

Or maybe just... withered, honestly.

"Guess."

To be totally honest, Ginko is not at all in the mood for guessing games. Funny how that happens when Foster comes into his workplace while he's busy to bother him about stuff Ginko can do nothing about.

So he stares right back at Foster for a moment before refocusing again. Okay, so Psi agreed to help Foster stop the ritual to separate the Carnival from Portland, then changed his mind upon regaining his memories. So if he tried to make a contract with the Ringmaster after that...

"Did he... try to have you sent back to Portland?" It's his best guess, but if he's confused or unsure it doesn't show in his voice.Mostly, he sounds tired.

That isn't the question Foster thought Ginko was asking, but his guess is absolutely nonsensical in that context, so he loses a second trying to figure out what Ginko is actually speculating on.

Once he does, though--

"Of course he did," Foster replies with audible disgust. He pauses only half a beat before continuing: "... but it's too late for that."

Well, the contract part was what he was wondering about most. Though... he has his suspicions about what Foster would consider to be Psi's "other option".

He just gives a quiet hum of acknowledgement, and his ears flick thoughtfully. "Anything he could do that it's not too late for?"

He won't be particularly surprised if the answer is no. Some things can't be made up for; that's just how it is.

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[closed] i don't know what else to say

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