"I don't know... if I'm ever going to get to go home again."

It's not something he's said to any of his friends, because he knows they'd be duty bound to prove him wrong. It's just, after this... he's starting to feel as if being faeblooded may follow him for the rest of his life. It isn't just a carnival change which will go away with time. It's part of him, now, and it's forever.

"I just... don't want this to be all there was."