pipers_son: (leyline) (If I had to summarize my weekend)
Joker ([personal profile] pipers_son) wrote in [community profile] lostcarnival2018-06-13 08:59 pm
Entry tags:

[closed]

Who: Joker and Ginko
What: Dealing with the Rose Queen has brought to the surface some memories that would rather be forgotten.
When: Shortly before the camping stop
Where: The Menagerie
Warnings: The discussion and effects of parental-child abuse, eventually


If anything, he feels like sleep should be coming to him easier now that they've gotten Steven back.

Not only Steven, either, but everyone else who was taken from them- they got them back, too. Some of them, admittedly, not... entirely whole... but they were gotten back regardless. Better to go through some rough patches and come back then none and stay with creatures like that, right?

So he should be able to rest well, instead of the frantic anxiousness which had overtaken him when they'd all been planning and waiting, leaving him with short naps instead of proper sleep.

But he can't. In a way he can't explain, there's a switch of anxiety in him, a different sort of tension. It's as if he's waiting for the other shoe to drop, as if he's waiting for something to come crashing down on him.

And it is only him, when he takes a second to examine his feelings. For a while, he assume it's because of, well.... Everything else. The fae courts on them no doubt even harder, the things they all had to do, whatever flaming trainwreck is happening within the Nightrider.... That'd be enough to stress any of them out. He's pretty sure everyone is, on some level. But no. No, when he thinks of his anxiety, it's not for all of them, but him in particular. It's left him feeling as if he's a hair away from lashing out at someone, or breaking down into tears.

And he still has to talk to Doll, something which he's been avoiding because of all this. Fantastic.

At some time before, Joker knows what he would have done, which would have been force all of it down after trying to avoid his own family for ages, at least here in the carnival, before forcing himself through an unfortunate conversation. Now, however, well.... He knows there's an offer on the metaphorical table. It's just that picking it up, metaphorically, isn't doing anything for his stress.

Still. It's taken a couple of days, but here he is, trying to avoid Feathers' desire to still go up to his shoulder. The result is him, walking backwards in the menagerie, while he tries to reason with the human-sized owl.

"No. Noooo. Feathers- stop, don't ya flap yer wings like that at me. How have ya not realized that yer at least two feet taller now, ya dim tit?"

Feathers coos.
dontpokethat: because i have something to prove (no i didnt drop all this on the floor)

[personal profile] dontpokethat 2018-10-04 03:37 am (UTC)(link)
"...Right." He guesses that makes sense; there are some things that Joker really should do on his own. Even if, you know, his personal inclination is to do literally everything he can to help. Just... got to hold off sometimes.

He tilts his head, resting his forehead gently on Joker's shoulder - and trying not to let his horns get in the way too much, which is a bit of a challenge. "Good luck. ...I'm sure you'll be able to do this, one way or another."
dontpokethat: the first thing i do is not listen to it (whenever someone says something)

[personal profile] dontpokethat 2018-10-12 06:08 am (UTC)(link)
"Hey, what am I here for if not that, huh?" Encouragement for Joker to make choices that won't ruin his life is one of the only things he can really offer in this relationship, after all.

Then he lets out a soft snort of a laugh, tilting his head forward against Joker's shoulder. "He also kind of enforced the moment, cut him some slack."
dontpokethat: luckily i forgot what it was so i can do whatever i want (i was put on this earth to do one thing)

and here's where i run into trouble with the lack of happy icons lmao

[personal profile] dontpokethat 2018-10-12 08:08 pm (UTC)(link)
"Oh, like you've got room to-- hey!"

He doesn't let go. He just lets out a laugh, brief and startled, and his ear flaps against Joker's face. "What was that for?"
dontpokethat: to accentuate my dirt like quality (puting flowers in my hair)

SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN

[personal profile] dontpokethat 2018-10-20 04:32 am (UTC)(link)
"Aw, what, so I'm just supposed to wait on you to kiss me forever?" He gives Joker's shoulders a gentle squeeze. "And there you go, trying to claim that I'm cute again."
Edited 2018-10-20 04:34 (UTC)