lostcarnival | I Think I Need A Little Change

Who: Greg and Anyone
Where: Around and about
When: In the week or so following the kidnappings
What:The feeling when you just can't find the silver lining and give up trying

While Steven's more than earned some time off of work recovering from his wound and the sudden rush of changes, Greg can't justify the same. As much as he'd like to stay with Steven all day there's still things that need fixing and lights that need arranging, and so long as Steven's in no actual danger Greg has to trust he can be left to his own devices. After all, Greg usually has to leave him to his own devices even when there is actual danger. That's how things have always been. It's no different.

No different, no different. Who cares about growing horns or fangs or the rest, it's happening to everyone. He has to get over it, deal with the differences, it gets better after all, and so many people just love living here, and what has he got to complain about anyway. Steven's fine, he's fine, everything's fine.

A. On the job

The work is just involved enough that Greg can focus in on it and block out the excess of frustration and distress plaguing his consciousness. The rest of the world fades to a blur while he works.

Still, sleep deprived, working on autopilot, and electrical wires rarely make a good combination. If he doesn't irritate people with an overbright spotlight shining in their eyes, he may draw ire via the occasional yelp as he shocks himself.

B. Comfort Eating

Greg's never been the most outgoing or energetic person around, but he's made an effort to appear open and friendly to his coworkers and peers in passing. Still, he's fairly certain he's of passing interest to anyone, and that suits him just fine right now. He moves quickly around the grounds, avoiding eye contact and speaking little. If he can't shake off this bad mood, he may as well avoid rubbing anyone the wrong way with his moping.

The longest he spends outside of work or his trailer is in the cafeteria, where he guzzles down coffee and whatever's served with the highest calorie count. When all else fails, he can stockpile the energy and comfort. It's not exactly the prettiest sight, but he does make the effort to eat by himself where no one has to watch him scarf it down. Doing great, feeling fantastic.

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“Thank ya kindly!” Against all odds, Joker apparently still has enough energy somewhere deep down inside him that there’s an exclamation mark audible in his words, and he flops down across Greg. It feels so good to give his poor aching feet a rest. Really, he’d get lost in that relief alone, but he’s a man on a mission.

Popping something meaty that’s also undeniably foreign, he grins at the spread of food that Greg has taken for himself. “Cooks never fail ta impress, huh?” he asks. “One of the better things about this place.”

"That's for sure." Greg takes an extra second to make sure nothing's gotten stuck in his tusks. He never had to worry about food in his teeth nearly so much before this point. Well, he didn't pay as much attention, anyway. "It's nice to have one reliable thing around here."

The nature of a traveling circus is for things to be shifting, he supposes, especially with all the magic and that, but it makes it hard to find his footing. But the food's always good.

“Good food and a good doctor,” he agrees, which makes for a tidy little follow up of, “So, how’s Steven doin’?”

There’s no point in dancing around the subject. For one thing, Joker is on a time crunch himself, even if he is actually taking the time to chew his food instead of shoving it in his mouth. Frankly speaking, it’s better for him, too, if he just cuts right to the chase. And, anyway… If you let someone avoid something, they often will.

Little good beating around the bush will do. Greg sighs--it's how he gets most of his air these days--and gives a little shrug.

"He's... okay. Shaken up, and going through a lot of changes." Like, physically. "This is... the last place I expected to hurt him that way." With a gun, specifically. Magic damage, they're all used to, and no matter how Greg feels about it he knows Steven's capable. He never thought this would be what got to him.

A slight grimace shows Joker can’t blame him. It’d all been surreal to him up until his head was on the chopping block- literally- and he realized that this wasn’t just… magic and nonsense. For something like this, the shock is probably worse.

“Well, hopefully he’ll recover alright from it. He looks like a tough lad,” he says reassuringly. “Went to check in on him myself, and he was all worried about missin’ practice, ha!” A pause as he figures out how to broach this next topic. “What about yerself?”

"It's not the worst he's handled," Greg admits, though he takes no comfort in it. It's so hard for him to know when he needs to step in. Steven's such a strong kid, stronger than Greg will ever be... but he's still a kid. "He'll be bounce back to work as soon as he can, don't worry. He hates to think he's slowing anyone down."

For a moment it seems as though Greg didn't hear the second question. He just sucks some of the crumbs off his fingers, looking off into the middle distance. Finally, he gives a small shrug. "I'm here." What else can he say?

Right. Well. That’s not particularly comforting if that’s the most he can say. Joker buys some time by going through his own food, trying to figure out his options. “It’s never easy when anyone here gets hurt,” he tries after a few moments. “I know that if it were one of my own family, I’d have a heart attack. But if ya need anythin’...”

Greg's brow furrows and he blinks a few times, pulling himself out of his distraction. He shakes his head to clear some of that built up melancholy.

"Thanks, Joker. Really." He makes his best attempt at a smile. "I don't know myself what it is I need, but you've been generous with your time for my family. That's as much as I can ask for."

“I’d say time off, but…” He gives a loose shrug. For some of the departments, he knows they’re not as lucky as his is. Plenty are running on skeleton crews, if that, and that’s assuming that they have someone at the helm. Don’t remind him about wardrobe; he’s doing plenty of that on his own. Either way, it all comes down to time off being impossible.

“...Talk with anyone lately? Sometimes that helps a bit for some folks.”

"Nah. It's better if I keep myself busy." For a given definition of 'better.' "Peridot took it pretty hard too, and I owe her for getting Steven home safe." Heck, he'd encourage her to take the time off if he had any sort of authority in the matter. As is, he just wants to give her as little to worry about as possible.

"I'm... not even sure what to say." People are kind, and understanding, and know what he's going through. Sometimes, it makes finding the words for what's wrong even harder. "I wanted so bad to just power through this year and get home. But it's not going to be that simple, is it?"

Unfortunately, Joker sees right through that way of working things. He sees through it because that’s how he gets through crises- busying himself in desperate hopes that, even if it doesn’t really fix anything, at least he’ll be exhausted enough that he’ll fall straight asleep without having to deal with too many bad dreams. So his lips purse at that, but he doesn’t say anything. Not yet, anyway, and not about that.

“Nah, it ain’t. There’s a lot I could say, but it doesn’t take away the fact that yer lad got hurt. And that’s just the fact of the matter, huh?”

It's not Greg's usual coping method. Usually he'd take the time to surround himself with the familiar and take the time to relax in a safe space. But nothing here is familiar, and no space is wholly safe.

"Steven's always involved with some pretty dangerous stuff." Not in the 'oh my kid sure attracts trouble' kind of way, either. "I thought I was braced for it. I dunno if it'd be any different if it happened at home."

“I think that’s how most folks are…” Leaning back slightly with a sigh, Joker takes a fry between his fingers and pops it in his mouth. “We try ta prepare ourselves for things that might happen, and it’s a whole lot better than not, but… Ya don’t know what yer gonna feel until it happens. When ya see it with yer own two eyes.” It’s not an easy thing. God knows he’s familiar with it. There’s a lot of ways he’d told himself anything for my family, and yet when he’d gone and done it, all the breath had been knocked out of him.

What can you do?

“What would ya have done back home? Ya know folks who know his kinda trouble?”

I Think I Need A Little Change

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