OPEN: New Beginnings In Stranger Places

[promnibusanctis]

Who: Dr. Helen Magnus and [You]
When:  Day 92
Where: Roaming around, a little lost 
What: Arrival, getting her bearings, etc. etc.

Adventure was something Helen Magnus never shied from and exploring the vastness of the underground Sanctuary, far beyond those walls was something she couldn't deny herself.  So it was that she found herself here, under contract to the Ringmaster with her eyes wide with wonder at it all.  The lights and colours, the excitement, the darker elements shining through here and there.  It was as familiar as it was alien and she drank it in with an eagerness she had long felt lacking.  It stirred her as she moved through tents, passed people much like her who had joined perhaps years before her.  A bright flash of a tail there, wings, glowing skin, all of these people becoming Abnormals or were in the beginning.  The sheer fascination would have been enough, really.

 

"Excuse me?" she asked, reaching out to catch the attention of one of the people she had fallen into step with, "I seem to have found myself a bit lost.  I was looking for the medical tent and I seem to have completely gotten myself turned around.  If you could point me in the right direction, I'd be most grateful."

Comments

[promnibusanctis]

A chameleon. Helen let out the softest noise and looked at once horrified at the punishment and yet she understood just how limiting that could be for a man of his intellect. Her eyes swept across his face as she listened to him, shaking her head gently.

"My protege, Will Zimmerman, went through a change that was not dissimilar as a reptilian species overwrote his DNA, changing his body and his mind in the process." Her expression was worried even now as she recalled it. "We tried everything, exhausted all avenues, and it was only at the very last moment that, through a mutual friend, we were able to reverse the process. It was terrifying for all of us but I am sure more so for Will."

Her eyes found his and for a moment there were no words.

"The limits of the reptilian mind must have been maddening for you especially. With a mind as sharp and extensive as yours, I can only imagine how--" Helen remembered the early days when James Watson had yet to get a grasp on his own senses and pull himself together. He had frequently felt trapped, limited by his own body at times.

"I will endeavor not to tempt fate too much," she said, her voice soft. There was nothing overdramatic about such a traumatic event. "Mr Holmes..." Helen said, trailing off for a moment, honestly wishing she could do something that would help ease the trauma.

"Have you approached the Ringmaster about perhaps restoring your natural appearance?" she asked very quietly. "Or if that is an impossible request, at least gain control over it so that you may be yourself when you wish?" Honestly, Helen might even attempt to talk to her given the circumstances.

[thevictoriandetective]

"If you don't mind me asking, what was the exact nature of his transformation? And the extent of his mental degradation?" He would very much like the chance to compare notes. His own changes, as time went on, didn't seem to be stopping. Not that he'd expect to suddenly become a little lizard again, but who knew how much worse this was going to get. The veteran carnival workers hadn't degraded so, he still had hope. Maybe his worry was just irrational fear.

A nod, it would all be very fascinating if it didn't happen to himself. "Indeed. The instincts were very difficult to override, and I wasn't sure what was me and what was the lizard. My sense of self suffered...though I was coherent. Half the time I was frustrated at being slow. Chameleons take forever to get anywhere. And the bugs...the bugs were quite tasty." It was a joke, but actually true.

A wry smirk, though there was a furrowing of his brows, indicating that it wasn't a smirk of amusement, but of irony.

"She was the one who turned me into a chameleon." A pause. "She doesn't like me, I have...angered her before. I'm afraid of what might happen if I do ask." He thought back to the time she caught him snooping on a supervisor's meeting, and gotten slapped for it. It wasn't entirely underserved, but it was probably best not to anger her further. He actually had a reason to get on her good side, because he wanted to sign up for another year if he could bargain something out of it that may possibly fix a terrible mistake. In any case, he had a more healthy respect for the Fae now, unlike when he'd first arrived.

"To be fair, I don't think I'll get as bad as your protege, after all the Veterans here seem somewhat sane, I just..." he wasn't sure why he was being so open, but she seemed to be the kind of person that would understand, at least. "I don't like not being able to trust my mind. I've been betrayed by it before. I attacked my friend after the vampire incident. I didn't mean to."

Of course, this was a man who was tempted enough times by drugs to experience an addled mind without the benefit of having magical changes to blame his problems on.

[promnibusanctis]

"The spores of the Cillobar, a plant/animal hybrid, change the host organism one cell at a time until it completely takes over the body. Skin changes, reptilian scales are present and go on to form a thick, tough skin and exoskeleton, structural changes to the cranium, secretions the hands and feet, as well claws and merging of fingers. He was unable to speak or write late into the changes and before that, he expressed aggression and the sense of losing himself," Helen explained quietly. "Total rewrite of his cellular structure and DNA would mean that his mental degradation would have been total had we not come up with a cure."

She nodded and smiled, thinking about his brushes with the Ringmaster for awhile before he started talking about the Veterans and she leaned a hip against the table, settling next to him thoughtfully.

"What were you feeling just before you attacked your friend?" she asked, glancing at him. "If we can isolate a trigger for the violence, you'll at least have a warning."

[thevictoriandetective]

"Fascinating. And horrifying."

He seemed quite into her story, as much as it sounded like outright fiction, he certainly knew better now how real the impossible had truly become. Well, it was fascinating from an objective point of view, probably not so exciting from the actual victim's point of view. But that's how Sherlock thought with even the most gruesome of murders. He'd trained his mind to divorce his feelings in order to look at things objectively.

A thoughtful look, before he answered again.

"To be fair, I was injured at the time, and suffering from the effects of blood loss and whatever nonsense being enthralled by a vampire had done to me. I was no longer enthralled at that point, but they had pulled something...I don't know...what I was trying to suppress...instincts..." he seemed embarrassed. "Anyway, I was in a lot of pain, and the first thought I had was to lash out mindlessly."

A muscle in his jaw twitched.

"I...was also coming off of the effects of a variety of mind-altering substances."

[promnibusanctis]

"So much of life is," she murmured. There is a look of sympathy, a kindness, but not pity for the situation. Her eyes say she has seen many things and been through them herself.

"That does not sound like a particularly pleasant situation to be in," Helen said, her voice soft and carrying a note of kindness with it. "Pain alone can be enough to make anyone lash out and mind-altering substances can make even the simplest things into your worst nightmare. I can't imagine the effect that had on you but it sounds absolutely terrifying."

[thevictoriandetective]

Her thoughtful words and sympathy resonated with him greatly, though he felt rather guilty about it, as with most things it seems as of late.

"I was high of my own accord," he admitted, his voice tensing even as he tried to sound casual. "That place...before the vampires attacked, it was--it offered anything a person could ever want. Which turned out to be a very bad thing, we were caught off guard and I was completely useless when they came."

He seemed quietly furious with himself.

"They took the kids, they turned them into vampires...if maybe I hadn't been blitzed I would have been able to save some of them. At least they were rescued, though I couldn't do a thing about that either because I was recuperating."

Bitter, him? Nah.

[promnibusanctis]

"Sherlock," Helen's voice was a soft murmur. "You cannot dwell in maybes and ifs. Those are the things that eat away at you until all you have left is guilt and bitterness and perhaps a little madness. I know all too well what it is like to be unable to stop something like that, only the end I saw was not as promising as your own."

Her hand gently settled on his shoulder.

"I lost my daughter and the guilt, the pain, the madness of it nearly consumed me. There were moments where ifs and maybes were all I could see, all I wanted to see. But in the end, I had to let go for the sake of my friends, colleagues, and the patients who depended on me to keep them safe." She let out a soft sigh and squeezed his shoulder in firm but light support.

"Next time when a dangerous situation arises," she said with a small smile, "you will know better than to let your senses become blinded." She leaned in to catch his eyes, her own bright and honest. "You need them to be sharper than they have ever been, especially here. But first you need to do a difficult thing, you need to take that guilt and channel it into every skill you have and you need to have as much faith in yourself as I have, right now, in you."

Helen searched his face, a half-smile on her own.

"And if ever you need a shoulder or a someone to sit and talk with, my door is always open for you. Some things cannot be undone but that does not mean you are useless. It simply means that you must grow."

[thevictoriandetective]

His eyes focus on her, floored and astounded that she could have lost her daughter and still remained so wise, and extending this kindness to him even with such a thing capable of rending one immobile with regret.

...you need to have as much faith in yourself as I have, right now, in you.

His brows furrowed, it had been a long time since even John had said that to him. She scarcely knew him, and every bit of his deductions told him that she was being sincere.

And that...that was everything to him.

Maybe she just hasn't been around long enough to see his bad side. Everyone got fed up with him eventually.

"Y...yes, well, I might have to take you up on that," Sherlock's voice cracked slightly as he tried to keep it as neutral as possible.

Oh Helen, even if it doesn't last, as he expects it to not, you've just made a friend.

[promnibusanctis]

"Please do, any time of the day or night," she said and then laughed softly as she realised they'd completely derailed the one thing they'd come for.

"I fear we have forgotten the tea," Helen murmured, easing herself away to take care of the now madly whistling kettle. "Let me remedy that and get us a proper cup."

Helen could never be insincere around a man who reminded so dearly of her best friend. Though he may be different in some respects, he is someone she will always believe in. With his sharp deductive skills, brusque manner, and everything else that makes him himself, he is still human. On her part, she will always support him and if he thinks it may not last, well...Helen Magnus makes it a point to keep her friends for life.

Surprise, Mr. Holmes.

She returns with tea not long after and offers a cup of tea that on the first sip of her own reminds of studying medicine at Oxford, turning pages and comparing notes with James Watson and Nikola Tesla. They have come a long way from those days.

"I think," she says after a long but comfortable silence, "that I will like it here." Helen glances over at him with a fond smile. "And it has been an absolute pleasure meeting you. I could not have asked for better time spent."

[thevictoriandetective]

Knowing the kind of life he led, that offer would probably be taken up sooner rather than later.

"Oh! The tea!" This was why other people back home usually made the tea, rather than himself. He'd end up wandering away to tend to an experiment or get lost in thought on the couch. He burst into laughter, a rare thing these days.

"Thank you," he said sincerely, cupping a hand around it, taking a sip and feeling more like himself, than he did in ages. Never mind how his tongue flicked out to taste the scent floating up in the steam. Nostalgia was, logically speaking, pointless sentiment, but he was certainly not going to say no to indulging in it from time to time.

His face softened when she said that. He was not used to making friends so easily, he had zero friends for much of his life, and only John for some time until the others came into his life--or he realized they'd been his friends all along. But he was a lonely man for much of his adult life, his arrogant and rude ways had all but guaranteed it.

What could he say? What was he supposed to say? He had very little social data to fall back on. He seemed nervous suddenly, floored, and tongue-tied.

"I--ah...thank you." A pause. "And likewise," he added quickly. He meant it though, truly. He found her brilliant and fascinating, and unbelievably kind.