Something something the carnival is doomed.

[squeedlyspooch]

Who: Taako and Zim.
When: Before the event after they are assigned a trailer.
Where: Their new trailer!
What: New roomies! New digs! This is going to go so well.
Warnings: Language, and Zim is prejudiced against non-Irkens. The worst birds and the bees talk ever happens as well.


The Backyard is one of the few places Zim hasn't extensively examined, and for several reasons. One, he already has an excellent base and therefore no need for some backwater "trailer" residence pod, whatever a "trailer" is. Next, it being the homes of these gross mutants is off-putting and repulsive to him. Finally, he's been busy doing other things like getting offended at the lake and suspiciously eyeing some of the rides and game booths.

However, he did apparently get assigned one and it's only a matter of time before he decides to actually see it. Not out of any need for rest - Irkens don't need to sleep - but out of curiosity. Maybe there's some useful equipment he can commandeer for some evil plans. Or an evil escape. An evil something? He hasn't thought that part through yet.

He's standing in front of a small trailer, unimpressed. If he had eyebrows he'd be raising them, but instead he bends over to see that the trailer doesn't even extend into the ground. It's just... a little silver capsule, no basement, no underground labs, nothing. If it was a ship it would still be a piece of junk, in his opinion. It's lack of flight capabilities is just one more reason why it's terrible, and it makes him throw his hands in the air. "This is it?" He says to no one in particular. "It's garbage! There aren't any proper defenses! No communications array! Not even any little lawn animals! How am I supposed to work with this??"

Comments

[squeedlyspooch]

Okay, even though this guy isn't human his species apparently doesn't indulge much in experimentation of other species or things like stealing organs to remain incognito. The former a perfectly normal thing for aliens, don't judge him! The latter is just... Zim.

There's an awkward beat of silence. Then Zim says, "I mean... What?"

[tacosgay]

"Did you just say you steal organs from humans?"

Taako is actually staring directly at him, entirely lucid for once.

[squeedlyspooch]

"Ha ha! Of course I didn't, you repulsive goblin!" That awkwardness is not abating as he forces that laugh. "Your hearing is defective!"

[tacosgay]

"Okay, first off, take it back or I'll shrink you twice as tiny as the last time." It's not a thread he can actually make any good on, as far as he knows, but Zim doesn't know that. "Second, that's bullshit and we both know it."

[squeedlyspooch]

Zim shrinks back slightly, very quickly saying, "Ididnotjustcallyouarepulsivegoblin, I mean elf creature." So, don't shrink him again. Please.

"Anywhoo, it was just some temporary replacement. Totally fine! They all lived, probably!"

[tacosgay]

"Holy shit. Okay, uh, can I ask why?" He seems much more concerned with that than the fact that people's organs were stolen and they only "probably" lived.

[squeedlyspooch]

"Oh, you know, extremely important invader reasons!" As if Taako has any idea what that is, Zim is just going to go ahead and assume it. "My mission outweighed their need for organs."

[tacosgay]

"... okay, I mean... that sounds like something aliens are supposed to do, I guess, sure," he says, flopping over on his bed in clear confusion-- he's basically resigned himself to that state of being whenever he's talking to Zim, however. "Just don't touch my organs, you got that? I'm still using these babies."

[squeedlyspooch]

Now that Zim is semi-aware of what kind of magical horribleness Taako is capable of causing he's at least got enough sense to tread lightly around him. Sort of. Enough to not endanger his height again, because that was a terrible experience.

"Eh, there are lots other drones around here. I'm sure with plentiful organs, if I were to need them," he replies, a little less hesitant about discussing this upon seeing Taako's lack of caring. All the better for him, for any possible future organ experiments!

[tacosgay]

"Yeah, whatever, that's fine, just don't touch mine, okay?" Luckily for Zim-- and unluckily for the rest of the carnival-- Taako literally doesn't give a shit if Zim steals any of these motherfuckers' organs.

Except for the kids. He'd better leave the kids alone. They're still small and soft, they don't need to deal with an organ-stealing bug guy asshole fucking their shit up.

"So, uh, can I ask exactly what you're doing with those organs? Or do I even want to know?"

[squeedlyspooch]

Unfortunately kids were generally his main targets back on Earth, both to fool that nurse and for experimentation in general. Fortunately aside from guests there aren't really that many working at the carnival, so things might work out? Maybe?

There's a certain level of unpredictability, given Zim is involved. "Nothing you need to worry your fleshy brain about," he says. "If there aren't any medical drones here then I won't need them for that reason."

[tacosgay]

"Uh... medical drones? Like, doctors?" Taako glances at him in amused confusion, and very mild concern. "You know they probably do have those around here, right? Like, most big performance setups like this'll have at least one medic on board..."

[squeedlyspooch]

"What?" His antennae perk up, then droop down as his eyes widen. Medics and doctors means only one thing to him, and that is experimentation. Horrible, painful experimentation on his squeedlyspooch and other assorted organs.

He has to protect his squeedlyspooch. "Why would anyone bother with medical assistance on these things??"

[tacosgay]

"Because if their performers put themselves out of commission, and there's nobody here to fix them back up, that's bad business for the carnival." He sighs, winding his fingers through his thick curls idly, an eyebrow raised at Zim. "That's just common sense, my dude."

[squeedlyspooch]

"WHO CARES ABOUT THEM?! They're disposable!" Zim exclaims, making it absolutely clear what he thinks of his fellow coworkers. "There's no point in wasting medical supplies in them!"

Then he stops, thinks for a moment. "Do you know how many doctors are here?"

I love zim's stupid expressions...

[tacosgay]

"Wow. I mean, damn, little man, that's harsh." Not that Taako inherently disagrees. He's just having such a good time shaming Zim-- and, that aside, he'd never say it that way. "I have no idea? I mean... I'm not even 100% sure they have one, I just assume so. It'd make sense and all, if they've got, like, acrobats and the like performing. Those sort of people tend to get themselves hurt kind of a lot."

He has the best expressions.

[squeedlyspooch]

Zim lets out a miffed pfft. "Life is harsh. Especially for useless things." And what's more useless than the gross non-Irken slave-drones stuck here? Nothing, in his opinion.

"I'll have to do some intel-gathering later," he replies, more to himself than Taako. He doesn't look thrilled at having to do this, either; intel is supposed to be GIR's job, no matter how bad he is at it.

[tacosgay]

"Okay, but, like... what's your problem with doctors? Do I even wanna know?" Literally everything he learns about this guy brings up a thousand more questions-- it's like unraveling three different sweaters woven into one. If nothing else, it's certainly entertaining.

[squeedlyspooch]

Well, this question is slightly less terrible, in a Zim-doesn't-mind-answering-it kind of way. Eventually.

"Don't you know what they do to aliens??" First though, he needs to gauge Taako's knowledge of alien factoids. He's guessing it's pretty low.

[tacosgay]

"... nnnno?" He glanced aside, and then back at Zim, clearly baffled.

[squeedlyspooch]

"Alien experimentation!" He cries, clutching his abdomen fearfully. "Cutting aliens up! Taking their organs out! Sticking them in test tubes! Doing other science-y things!"

[tacosgay]

"... I think you're thinking of a very different kind of doctor from just, like... the randomass medic that would be working here, my man." Taako rolls his eyes, rolling over onto his back on the bed, crossing one long leg over the other. He does, at least, tip his head back to look at Zim upside down.

[squeedlyspooch]

"How do you know?! Do you know what kinds of resources this horrible human entertainment requires?!" Zim snaps. For all they know this could be some kind of secret experimentation... experiment.

While Taako is calmer than ever Zim's nerves are visibly ramping up. This is not the most pleasant discussion for him.

[tacosgay]

"Uh... probably some bandaids, alcohol... maybe a splint sometimes if, I don't know, an acrobat falls and breaks their butt or something?" Taako folds his arms over his chest, smirking at Zim lazily.

[squeedlyspooch]

"That sounds worse than useless. What would even be the point of having drones to do something so basic?" Zim scoffs. "Humans are so squishy."