the terrible horrible no good very bad week

[kingsroads]

Who: Strange & OPEN!
Where: mostly the carnival, with a Wismuth prompt
When: D17 and onwards
What: Strange has had a run of shitty days/decisions and is coping like a champ (he's sulking)
Warnings: mild drug & alcohol use, Strange's general asshole tendencies

sulking at the training grounds
Over the past few days, Strange learned that the closest thing he could call to an enemy was back and she had poisoned his best friend, found out his other close friend was kidnapped and enthralled, got dunked in a lake, got his emotional support gem stolen, got dunked in the ocean, made a kid cry, discovered he had a fun new phobia of sentient pineapple beasts, got gum in his hair, and received harsh truth bombs from at least two different people. And only half of this is his fault! (Maybe five-eighths. Strange'll fight it if anyone says three quarters.)

To top it all off, apparently the entire universe is in danger of ending and Creation's decided to fix that by giving people fun magical powers but apparently the universe doesn't think he's good enough! Like what the hell, Creation? As if his self-esteem wasn't already weirdly low thanks to the fact that he got beaten up by plants and the previously mentioned harsh truth bombs.

So, Strange is coping with pyromania. At least four of the practice dummies are currently on fire and have been on fire for the past half hour or so. Strange is in the process of casting a spell to set a fifth ablaze. Anybody who remotely approaches the training ground is getting an amazing death glare courtesy of Strange, as well as a grumpy "What?"

sulking part 2
Alternatively, there's an abundance of purple smoke hanging out near the top of one of the game trailers in the gamer's circle. Can smoke sulk? Undecided, but there's certainly something sulky about this smoke. It's definitely lingering around the top of the trailer and not moving in a manner that's reminiscent of sulking.

welcome to the plot
For the most part, Star Guardians need to sleep too. As does Strange But considering that Strange lives a comfortable life as the man with the world's most erratic sleep schedule, his is variable as hell and he's wide awake at around ten pm, when most people should be getting ready for bed. He's wide awake as he bangs on the trailer door of each inhabited trailer, hoping that someone's in.

He doesn't waste any time. Whenever anyone answers their door, Strange bluntly asks, "Did you get those odd powers like what Noa has?"

Fuck it, he knows about pillars, he can still be useful.

wismuth
Staying at the carnival and not getting out of bed just sounds like a really good plan right now. Except Strange is a nightrunner and when you're rooming with the deputy nightrider, you can only wallow in self-pity for so long. Scrying can only do so much so he's hitting the pavement. As he walks the streets (wearing a slightly ridiculous baseball cap), Strange keeps his senses open for any sort of magic: guardian, harbinger, fae. He's already gotten his ass whooped twice, any sort of large spikes of harbinger magic he is staying the hell away from. But it's the smaller things, the after effects that he can at least try to dispel.

And so, that's why Strange is standing next to an ATM that's currently spitting out cash, muttering something while debating if he's actually got to put his mouth on that thing or not. Thankfully, the machine sputters to a stop and the spell breaks before Strange has to actually kiss the box.

"I don't even know what this is," he complains, to anyone listening. Foggy modern AU memories can only go so far and did not extend to ATMs. But look at him go, stopping the horrible...money spitter outer machine. Greatest magician of the age, everyone.

Comments

[kingsroads]

"That's right, I can. And half the people who were turned into Guardians probably couldn't feel it to begin with!"

Creation is dumb, Pig's dumb, Harbingers are dumb, this entire thing is so dumb and so stupid for not having picked him in the first place! The more Strange talks, the more intensely annoyed he's getting.

"Lambert doesn't even want this in the first place!"

At least, he's assuming Lambert doesn't want it.

[whattaprick]

"Of course I don't want it!" Lambert interjects, gesticulating wildly down at his everything. "Come on! Do you really think I'd choose this?"

"You accepted the power when it was offered to you," Pig answers, unruffled.

"That's because I was about to get hit in the face!"

"Nevertheless, you are the Guardian of Freedom now," his familiar answers, implacable and remorseless in the face of Lambert's sputtering protests. "However you came by it, you must see it through. To fight for Creation-- to preserve life."

"You were my horse," Lambert groans into his fingers, having buried his face into his hands at some point in the middle of the familiar's little speech. Why is this happening to him?

[kingsroads]

"Can't the power be swapped or transferred over or something like that? I want it. And I'd be better at it than Lambert would," Strange pleads, looking over at Pig. Just begging a tiny horse to give him magic, what the hell has his life become.

Because amazing magical powers? Of course he wants it! Strange'll even suffer though the indignity of booty shorts, lord knows he's been through worse in his life.

[whattaprick]

"I'm afraid not," Pig answers. And then, not unkindly-- "Perhaps you simply don't have the qualities Creation is looking for."

Like, say, a survival instinct.

[kingsroads]

Strange is severely tempted to punch this dumb horse in her dumb little horse head. He's clenching his fists, glaring at Pig and just generally looking like he's straight up going to get in a fight with a tiny little magical horse.

"And just what qualities do the other Guardians have that I don't?" he hisses.

[whattaprick]

Pig might look like a tiny little horse, but she isn't, so he's likely to be in for an unpleasant surprise if he tries to escalate. That being said, it seems she'll consider the question seriously, before she finally responds.

"I don't know. Maybe it's because you already have so much magic of your own. Creation is more about potential than power."

Of course, this is before they learn Rita has been turned into a Guardian too, so...

[kingsroads]

That's not a good enough explanation for Strange. As such, the yelling continues (as he pretty much ignores Lambert, sorry buddy).

"I barely held my own against Steven," Strange complains. "My power has nothing to do with it. As for potential, I've got the most potential out of anybody in the carnival."

How he came to that idea and what Strange's definition of potential is, he doesn't elaborate on. Instead, he's continuing to bitch and moan.

[whattaprick]

“Potential to cause disaster, maybe,” Lambert mutters under his breath. But not too loudly, because he doesn’t wanna deal with a bitchy Strange on top of everything else.

Pig, however, remains unmoved. “Perhaps it is not as great as you think. Being a Guardian calls for self-awareness.”

[kingsroads]

"I'm the most self-aware person I know!" Strange yells, which really proves just how entirely not self-aware he is.

He's also forgetting the fact that Lambert's still transformed and Pig's not visible. This means that to various onlookers and passerbys, it looks like there's this crazy man just shouting at nothing.

"You're just unwilling to admit that Creation has no idea what the hell it's doing!"

[whattaprick]

“Of course it doesn’t.” Like that should be obvious. “It wouldn’t be Creation if it did.”

The little horse takes a step forward as Strange keeps gesticulating, regarding him with a slightly tipped head as her ears twitch gently.

“What would you do with such a power, Jonathan Strange?”

[kingsroads]

What wouldn't he do? He'd try to take down Nightshade. He'd try to find a way to keep this power after they inevitably leave Wismuth. And he'd also stop the Harbingers, of course, can't forget that. But he could do so much with that magic, so much more than some of the people it might go to.

"I'd stop the problems I'm facing," Strange answers, as he looks over at Pig. "All of them."

[whattaprick]

"Can't you argue with my horse somewhere else?" Lambert asks plaintively, but Pig isn't done. Her tone is as steady and almost monotonous as its been at the start of the conversation, though there's almost a touch of pity to it -- or maybe Strange could be just imagining it.

"That's not what it's granted for," she says. "You'd simply become a vessel for the Void."

[kingsroads]

Unsurprisingly, Strange takes the accusation that he's more likely to become a Harbinger piss-poorly. Is it animal abuse if you punch your friend's horse? Because Strange is really considering it. It's less of the fact that Pig insinuated it in the first place and more of the fact that a tiny little part of Strange is worried she's right. That touch of pity is what pushes him over the edge as he looks over at Pig with an amazingly tense expression and straight up conjures a fireball in the middle of the goddamn street...

...before realizing, right. Lambert's here. Lambert'll be on his side.

"Well? What do you think?" he snaps, looking up at Lambert. You're getting dragged into this stupid argument whether you like it or not, sorry buddy. "You heard the horse, how do you think I'd do?"

[whattaprick]

If there's anything Lambert has learned, it's that you don't contradict the mage who's asking you a question while he's holding a fuck-huge fireball in the middle of the street. He's at least pretty sure that even if Pig can kick his head in, she wouldn't actually do it, but Strange seems unstable right now, to say the least.

"Of course you'd be a great Guardian," Lambert says automatically, eyes darting between Pig and Strange. And then he scowls. "But look, there's nothing I can do to change it, is there?"

[kingsroads]

There we go. Fuck you Pig, he'd be an amazing Guardian. Strange visibly relaxes, giving Lambert a little nod. With a wave of his hand, the fireball vanishes. But annoyingly enough, Lambert's right. There really isn't anything he can do, can he.

"Short of suggesting a way to threaten Creation itself, I can't think of anything." That's a joke! It's a joke, look at Strange's slightly strained smile, this is 100% a joke and not Strange actively conspiring to threaten a primal force to get what he wants even if that primal force can go fuck itself.

"But you will tell me if you get any insight into how this whole Guardian thing works, right?"

[whattaprick]

As funny as the mental image of Strange threatening all of Creation might be, Lambert also gets the feeling that wouldn't go over well, and he's not entirely sure it's a joke, if his wary expression is anything to go by.

"I will," he nods, although he wrinkles his nose and rubs at his arm. He doesn't sound too sure about the likelihood of that.

"That's why I'm here to guide Lambert," Pig reassures, though it's not very reassuring at all, in Lambert's opinion.

[kingsroads]

"I'm not talking to you," Strange bluntly and rudely says straight to Pig's face before turning to pettily ignore the horse entirely. He's still a bit miffed about the whole 'you'd be more likely to become a Harbinger' thing. Besides, this is Lambert's horse. How much intelligent conversation can one have with a horse anyway?

Of course, Strange has no idea where the hell the conversation's going to go now. After all, he doesn't really know this magical girl stuff. And Pig probably would be better at explaining magic, but Strange is being a petty grudgey fiend right now and doesn't want to talk to the horrid beast.

"So, you've got a silly outfit and a horse that turns into a motorcycle. And said horse called you the 'Guardian of Freedom'. Can you...I don't know, unlock locks now?"