[closed]

[pipers_son]

Who: Joker and Ginko
What: Dealing with the Rose Queen has brought to the surface some memories that would rather be forgotten.
When: Shortly before the camping stop
Where: The Menagerie
Warnings: The discussion and effects of parental-child abuse, eventually


If anything, he feels like sleep should be coming to him easier now that they've gotten Steven back.

Not only Steven, either, but everyone else who was taken from them- they got them back, too. Some of them, admittedly, not... entirely whole... but they were gotten back regardless. Better to go through some rough patches and come back then none and stay with creatures like that, right?

So he should be able to rest well, instead of the frantic anxiousness which had overtaken him when they'd all been planning and waiting, leaving him with short naps instead of proper sleep.

But he can't. In a way he can't explain, there's a switch of anxiety in him, a different sort of tension. It's as if he's waiting for the other shoe to drop, as if he's waiting for something to come crashing down on him.

And it is only him, when he takes a second to examine his feelings. For a while, he assume it's because of, well.... Everything else. The fae courts on them no doubt even harder, the things they all had to do, whatever flaming trainwreck is happening within the Nightrider.... That'd be enough to stress any of them out. He's pretty sure everyone is, on some level. But no. No, when he thinks of his anxiety, it's not for all of them, but him in particular. It's left him feeling as if he's a hair away from lashing out at someone, or breaking down into tears.

And he still has to talk to Doll, something which he's been avoiding because of all this. Fantastic.

At some time before, Joker knows what he would have done, which would have been force all of it down after trying to avoid his own family for ages, at least here in the carnival, before forcing himself through an unfortunate conversation. Now, however, well.... He knows there's an offer on the metaphorical table. It's just that picking it up, metaphorically, isn't doing anything for his stress.

Still. It's taken a couple of days, but here he is, trying to avoid Feathers' desire to still go up to his shoulder. The result is him, walking backwards in the menagerie, while he tries to reason with the human-sized owl.

"No. Noooo. Feathers- stop, don't ya flap yer wings like that at me. How have ya not realized that yer at least two feet taller now, ya dim tit?"

Feathers coos.

Comments

[dontpokethat]

It only takes a moment of taking in that look before Ginko's look of startled doubt becomes a delighted, and thoroughly entertained, smile.

"Well, maybe you should be faster next time."

[pipers_son]

"Now, that's rude," he argues, even though he's visibly fighting his own smile just seeing Ginko's. "I was bein' polite, now, wasn't I, givin' ya all the time in the world. Then I was gonna do somethin' properly romantic, make it the kinda heart stoppin' thing that would win ya over in no time."

Like they're not already dating.

[dontpokethat]

"You don't need to worry about that; you won me over a long time ago."

...

Wow, that... sure came out of his mouth before he could think better of it. He ducks his head slightly, as if burying his face in his boyfriend's shoulder will protect him from the sappiest thing he has ever said.

[pipers_son]

That is incredibly unfair of Ginko. After all, how else is Joker supposed to act? He's left staring up vaguely towards the ceiling as Ginko hides his face in his shoulder. Still squeezed up against them, Feathers softly hoots as if this were his plan all along. Does the daft bird even know what's going on...?

After a second, Joker gives another soft and fragile laugh. "I don't know what I did ta deserve ya, Ginko." He's pretty sure it's not enough.

[dontpokethat]

Ginko snorts, and turns and lifts his head a little so that he can talk. Conveniently, this does put his face right by Joker's ear again, so he doesn't really have to speak up.

"Depends on if you mean that as a good thing or not. ...But, either way, I don't know that 'deserving' really comes into it. I... like this. Being with you. So, as long as you feel the same, maybe that's enough."

Maybe he also needs to convince himself of that. As long as Joker is happy with this - it's okay. Probably.

[pipers_son]

"Yeah." His fingers curl lightly against Ginko's sides. "Maybe that's it." It's not something he can really believe in so confidently, but, well... What's the alternative, really?

Breathing into Ginko's hair, his fingers tighten for a moment. "...I just need ta figure out what ta say ta her," he says quietly, picking up a conversation that'd nearly been forgotten with Feathers' insistence. "Where ta even start."

[dontpokethat]

Right. There's that whole topic.

"...Apologizing would probably be a good start. Telling her you know you messed up on the radio."

[pipers_son]

"Well, the start's easy." An apology is simple enough to get out. But... "S'the parts after that'll give it any weight, huh?"

Because if what follows after the apology doesn't have enough weight, then the apology itself won't have enough weight. It'll just end up a shallow platitude, and that will make things even worse between them. Joker knows that much... just another part of what has him so tentative about taking even that first step.

It won't hurt as bad if he doesn't try at all, right? There's no expectations, that way.

[dontpokethat]

"Maybe. But that start is still pretty important."

He studies Joker's expression for a few seconds, his brow furrowing. "...I can help you two talk through it, if you need me to."

[pipers_son]

"...Maybe." His gaze flicks to the side for a second, a little uncertain. "But I'll... I'll try it on my own first. See how far I can get." His mouth twists in an uncertain smile. "I mean, can't rely on ya for everythin', can I? S'not much fair at all." And he owes it to his family to at least try what he can.

[dontpokethat]

"...Right." He guesses that makes sense; there are some things that Joker really should do on his own. Even if, you know, his personal inclination is to do literally everything he can to help. Just... got to hold off sometimes.

He tilts his head, resting his forehead gently on Joker's shoulder - and trying not to let his horns get in the way too much, which is a bit of a challenge. "Good luck. ...I'm sure you'll be able to do this, one way or another."

[pipers_son]

"Ha. At least one of us has faith in this." He presses into Ginko's grip, trying to find reassurance in the warmth there.

Something is very insistently making self-satisfied hoots.

"...Feathers, yer ruining the moment."

[dontpokethat]

"Hey, what am I here for if not that, huh?" Encouragement for Joker to make choices that won't ruin his life is one of the only things he can really offer in this relationship, after all.

Then he lets out a soft snort of a laugh, tilting his head forward against Joker's shoulder. "He also kind of enforced the moment, cut him some slack."

[pipers_son]

"He's pushy, just like you. S'no wonder that ya both get along." But he's not very serious about it, and blows a hot breath into one of Ginko's ears. It's a very large and easy target, after all.

...But hopefully that won't make Ginko let go. He thinks he likes this.

and here's where i run into trouble with the lack of happy icons lmao

[dontpokethat]

"Oh, like you've got room to-- hey!"

He doesn't let go. He just lets out a laugh, brief and startled, and his ear flaps against Joker's face. "What was that for?"

LMAO WHUPS we can probably end it around here anyway

[pipers_son]

"For kissin' me first," he says smugly through a mouthful of Ginko's ear. "And havin' cute reactions. A lotta things, really."

All of which he's glad to have and to hold, here in his arms.

SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN

[dontpokethat]

"Aw, what, so I'm just supposed to wait on you to kiss me forever?" He gives Joker's shoulders a gentle squeeze. "And there you go, trying to claim that I'm cute again."