lostcarnival | ⇨ POLARIS 3.0

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⇨ POLARIS 3.0

Who: Everyone!
When: Day 115
Where: Polaris
What: On the morning of day 115, a couple hours before the technicians would come to pick up the test subjects, the escape plan will officially come into effect. If your character has been left out of the loop up till this point, feel free that someone hastily explains the plan during the initial phase! The meat of everything else will be played out via megathreads and any private toplevels people want to make.
Warnings: Probably violence.

PEER REVIEW↴

The plan starts with getting everyone out of their cells. Childermass is going to be using his Gilded Mark to enhance his shadow movement abilities, unabling him to teleport himself and other people out of containment. If your character has other ways of escaping they are free to pursue that, but on a base level, it can be assumed that everyone gets out thanks to Childermass. (Thanks Childermass!) Once everyone has been removed from their cells by some means or another, they will be forced to split into teams as swiftly as possible, as the moment people start breaking out, negative attention from the staff will start building. The area is poorly guarded at first, but as people become aware of the breakout, more will arrive.

Gild, speaking on behalf of her inside plant, will say that those that 1) want to get their stuff back, 2) want to find Ignatius, should get the assistance of their allied Deltas to access sector A5. From there, they will have to access Polaris's storage in A3, a neighbouring sector, and find access to C2, the station where Ignatius is being held. They should expect to be met with armed resistance, but with any luck allies will be there to assist them.

In general, characters will be most effective if they back one of these major objectives:

► TEAM LOOT: This team is trying to get back the items and pets that were confiscated when the group was brought into Polaris. Their objective, according to their allies on the inside, is to get to A5, and then make their way to A3. The important thing is being able to locate their stuff among a sea of other items, and to make it through security in order to reclaim it. Gild's plant has said that they will assist with this. After getting these items, Team Loot may wish to merge with Team Rescue.

► TEAM RESCUE: This team's primary focus is to get to A5 and then make their way to C2. If desired, they may wait for or join with Team Loot, or they may strike out ahead in order to take advantage of the element of surprise. The key factors are obtaining a way to access C2, as well as being prepared for armed conflict with the technicians guarding it, as well as possibly the Mother of Invention herself. Though, the ideal is that Gild will be distracting here at that time.

► TEAM DISTRACTION: This team can do their thing wherever they please, as their main intent is to sew general discord and distract the staff from the teams doing more important things. They should be prepared for armed resistance, but what tactics they pursue beyond that point are highly variable.

► TEAM FORTRESS: This team is attempting to set up a protective base of operations in the original sector in order to survive the conflict and protect their noncombatant comrades. How they accomplish this is also highly variable.

Other objectives may exist, of course, and can be made with their own separate top levels. Chunks of these megathreads will have to be played out in summary form, so when characters are simply trying to get from place to place and specifics aren't necessary, feel free to stick to that format. Assume that everyone is already out of their cells for the purpose of the megathreads.

Here is a shitty map of how the sectors connect, from a side view of the central Polaris hub.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yuya lets out a sigh, resigned. "No, she didn't. I think she thought she left it in the past, but if we'd known... not everyone signed up for something that's worth this."

He certainly understands being angry about it. He's not going to blame Strange for that. She's made plenty of mistakes. "But I don't want to leave her with the Huntsman, not knowing what he's doing to her... I don't want her suffering."

Even besides that his contract is unfinished, and important, he happens to care about her as a person. Yuya shrugs a shoulder. "But it's not just up to me and what I want. That's... something we should all talk about. With Ignatius and Gild."

Because they'll probably still need some fae assistance if they're going to save her.

"We should," Strange admits. There's a little pause before he looks over at Yuya. Strange mulls over his words before he starts talking. Since he's brought Ignatius up...

"I know I don't need to tell you this, but be patient with Ignatius. A fae's domain...from what I understand, it's the very core of their being. Having his aspect shifted like this would be like if you suddenly couldn't do magic or became part angel." Or like when Childermass became a faeblood, Strange thinks, but doesn't say. He's seen first hand a few of the of fun existential worries that come when your entire existence shifts.

"He'll be confused and possibly scared and we don't need people trying to make him feel better with nonsense like telling him everything's going to be alright. Because in his mind, everything isn't alright."

Yuya knits his brow, not sure if Strange really doesn't think he needs to tell Yuya if he's going to tell him anyway and bring up assurances that Yuya tries to share when things are looking bleak.

"I know he was changed." Yuya's saw it. He's talked to Steven about the same issue and he knows about Childermass. "I don't think that's what Peridot thought was going to happen when she asked Creation to help him."

He rubs the back of his neck. "But that is him now, so if there's something we can do to help him be more comfortable and cope with it, then we can be there for him."

"Just don't force him into anything," Strange continues. He's not entirely certain Yuya's understanding what he's saying, so he tries to explain more clearly.

"You're very good at trying to see the good in things and inspiring people. But sometimes, someone might not want to see the good things. Let him wallow, if only for a little bit, before you come in with pep talks and reassurances."

Not every time is time for a pep talk. And Strange is worried that Yuya's just going to come in, guns blazing, with his 'everything is fine and you can get past this' right when Ignatius is in the middle of a sad spell and honestly believes that nothing is fine (which frankly, Strange doesn't blame him for indulging in).

Yuya chews on his lip briefly. The idea that Yuya could force Ignatius into anything is absurd, but he doesn't dwell on that part. "I wasn't! Have you talked to him?"

Yuya's asking mostly because he hasn't, on account of being down for the count from the whole nearly dying thing. Rita mentioned he'd run away from Gild, but there were also a lot of other factors that went into it. He probably is miserable.

Edited 2018-11-14 18:01 (UTC)

"Not yet. Partly because I spent the past few hours magically fixing my own broken arm to a workable state, partly because I'm giving him space." Strange stresses, as he rubs his nose slightly in irritation.

"Considering that he left the conversation as soon as Gild started hounding him, I suspect he wants some time to himself. I'm giving him that. I'll talk to him when we're all less keyed up from this nonsense."

Said with an accompanying hand gesture to the burnt out remnants of the farm. This nonsense obviously means 'all of Polaris.'

"Hounding him?" Sometimes, the way Strange talks about Ignatius makes him sound like glass. It's something Yuya recognizes mostly from how other people have talked about him, with fragility. Like Gongenzaka. Mostly Gongenzaka. When was this conversation? Yesterday?

Yuya shakes his head. "I'm not saying your wrong but... that means you didn't ask him, right? You're assuming he doesn't want to talk to anyone because it's hard to talk to Gild."

That, too, Yuya knows too keenly. The tendency to interpret other people's actions through the lens of what he feels, or what he would do. It's something he's still working through, still trying to overcome.

"I thought we were out here to test your shield," Strange grumbles. This conversation's shifted too far towards nitpicking and what Strange views as people pointing out his flaws for his own liking.

"I will talk to him. But later, once we're both in a more solid state of mind." Because Strange is still a little testy and emotionally pulled from confessing all of his fears and doubts to Yuya not even ten minutes ago. He's certainly not going to be working through anybody else's emotional crises in this state.

Yuya's shoulders sink and he looks away. "Yeah, we were."

He steps backwards until he puts a few feet between him and Strange. His expression is still a little troubled, but he takes a deep breath and focuses on pushing his shield out in a smaller size around him, trying to reinforce it as much as possible.

"Okay, I'm ready."

Strange is still a little grumpy and a lot bit not wanting to reflect on his actions. He takes a few steps back and mutters an incantation. The ground starts to rumble a bit ominously.

"I'll go from small to large," Strange explains, as a small rock about the size of a baseball raises up from the ground. "Tell me when you feel the shield start to give."

And then, not even a second later, Strange flicks his hand and the rock flies at Yuya's shield. As he does so, a second rock starts to rise from the ground...and Strange just keeps on complaining.

"I should be strong enough on my own," Strange grumbles. "How the hell can I protect people if I always have to rely on someone else?" Something that he hopes Yuya would understand, especially since they're working on his protection magic here and now.

Yuya only holds one hand out as he keeps the shield up. The gesture isn't actually necessary, but it helps him focus. It ripples with the first hit, and Yuya flinches when the first rock hits, and he scrambles to reinforce for the next one. It doesn't break yet, but he's not at his most focused.

Especially not when Strange is still talking. Especially when they're doubts that Yuya's been fighting with again and again for months, running in circles like he can't find the right direction to make it happen.

"If I knew, I'd already be doing it." He flinches again at the second rock, but it doesn't break yet. Trying to defend against rocks isn't the best time for him to be self-reflecting, either. "Gongenzaka was always the one strong enough on his own, and even he's been beaten by them!"

Strange briefly looks offended at being compared to Gongenzaka of all people. The second rock slams against the shield as Strange calls forth a third.

"Gongenzaka didn't fight in the peninsula. Gongenzaka didn't give England back her magic." The third rock slams into the shield as Strange starts to call forth number four. "Gongenzaka isn't one of the most powerful magicians of the age. The Ringmaster didn't charge Gongenzaka with Ignatius's safety. I am so much more powerful than Gongenzaka and yet I can't do anything!"

For all the faith Yuya puts into Gongenzaka and how strong he views him, it's an objective truth in Strange's mind that he's much more magically powerful than Gongenzaka and, as such, what is a problem for Gon shouldn't be a problem for him. The fourth rock flies towards the shield.

"I--" Yuya almost yelps at the force of the second rock, blanking out of the conversation briefly as he focuses on keeping the third rock from coming through.

"I know that, I just meant--what I thought was being the strongest isn't enough! Even Ignatius--even as strong as he is--!"

He yelps as the forth rock crashes to the barrier. He stops it, but it flickers out of form. Yuya quickly throws the shield up again, a little weaker in haste. "So maybe instead of being strong enough to protect people by ourselves, what we have to do is protect each other."

It comes out faster than Yuya's brain consciously thinks about it, but... that's right, isn't it? Even Ignatius needs help. Even they need help. Looking after each other, it can't be one way--it's a back and forth, and everyone taking care of each other. That's how they've made a difference every time.

If he had more time to think back, he'd realize it's never been one person who's strong enough. One person to save the day. Even with the Ringmaster.

They always needed each other.

"Oh that's easy for you to say," Strange snaps. He's noticed that Yuya's barrier's fallen and gives him a moment to resummon it. The flames on his hair are just creeping further and further up as he takes a moment to just indulge in his anger and fury.

"You have Gongenzaka. Lambert has Childermass. Sans has Papyrus, the gems all have each other, and now Ignatius has Gild and Rita. Well where does that leave me?"

Strange knows that it's inherently selfish. But man, it is so hard being the one who's constantly the third wheel, constantly the one on the sidelines to congratulate people for growing closer and, in some cases, falling in love whereas the one person who you'd give your life up for to protect is a whole different universe away.

"I tried to explain this to Peridot, that aside from me, everybody here has someone who will protect them and who'll look out for them no matter the circumstances. But she didn't listen!"

Edited 2018-11-14 19:55 (UTC)

Yuya looks stunned as the fifth rocks slams into the barrier flickering against the impact. His hand drops to his eyes and he stares, wide-eyed from behind the weakening shield. And then his hand clench into tight fists, but he doesn't notice how painfully his claws dig into his skin.

"I'M HERE FOR YOU!"

His vision blurs with tears as he screams, sucking in a sharp breath that only brings his tone down a little. "I've tried to tell you--do you really think the only person I really care about here is Gongenzaka? That you're not important enough to Lambert because he's with Childermass?"

His voice rises an octave, disbelieving only because how many times has to impressed to Strange how much he matters to Yuya? How many times has Yuya tried to be there, managed to be there. Even in Polaris they were arguing about letting Yuya help Strange.

"You have people here! You have me, and Lambert, and Ignatius, and Childermass, and other people! Why won't you accept us?!"

There's really no way to explain 'because I'm used to intense relationships with and being the main focus of like, one or two people max and I still haven't wrapped my head around the concept of having lesser relationships with multiple people.' He always fixated on Arabella and, to a lesser extent, Norrell. And okay, neither of them were here, but then there was Lambert! And alright, then Lambert started dating Childermass, but then there was Ignatius! But now Ignatius has his sister and he's mended his bridges with Rita so now what?

"If you had to choose between anybody else and the carnival and Gongenzaka, if there was...I don't know, a trial where you had to pick, you'd pick Gongenzaka over anybody else—and don't try to deny it, I know it's true." He remembers that whole 'going to die for him' conversation. "I want something like that. But I don't have anyone like that here."

Does this make sense? Strange isn't sure he's making sense. He's struggling with his words as the anger and fury shifts towards frustration, mostly at himself for what is admittedly a very stupid feeling.

Edited 2018-11-14 20:36 (UTC)

Yuya bites his lip, almost hard enough to break the skin. It doesn't sit well with him, not that his relationship with Gongenzaka isn't more intense... but the insinuation that it makes his other relationships lesser somehow. Yuya's not someone who's already been surrounded by friends, either, but that's made the friends he has made all the more precious.

He's also a little offended at the insinuation he'd screw someone else over for Gongenzaka (he'd screw over himself first) but that's a hypothetical scenario neither of them are going to come out right about.

"So, what, you mean how much we care about you isn't good enough?" That comes out way too harsh, and even Yuya flinches at the accusation. "I thought... I thought we were closer than that. You're my friend. One of my best friends, and I want to be there for you!"

He looks aside, loosely wrapping his arm around himself. "Do you really think I'd just turn on you or leave you if it came up? That I wouldn't find a way for you?"

Very awkwardly, Strange jams his hands in his pockets as he continues to talk.

"I know you'd try," he admits. Yuya would try no matter what, that's just the sort of person he is. "And I know that Ignatius would try as well." Because Ignatius came back for him when Strange was captured by the Twelve in Eden and honestly, that's the kindest and most touching thing that's happened to Strange in ages.

"And I know that if she were with us, the Ringmaster would find a way, just because of that 'no carnival member left behind' sort of attitude she had." Which Strange still respects even though he's still mad at the Ringmaster for not telling them about the Courts thing and things are complicated, okay. "But she's not here any more and I'm well aware that a mad magician with a tendency of finding trouble isn't the top of anyone's priority list and...I just..."

He stammers for a bit, lost for words, before it's Strange's turn to sniffle a little and try to blink back tears. "It's dumb and nonsensical, I know, but I just want to be someone in the carnival's top priority. And I'm not. And I doubt I'll ever be, and I don't know what to do about it."

"I'd try because I care about you," Yuya clarifies, because Strange doesn't matter to him for simple altruism. Strange matters to him as a close friend, and Yuya's put so much of his heart into nurturing that because he's wanted to be close, to be liked, to make Strange proud.

Now he feels like he's just hitting a wall, and a cold reality. He rubs his eyes, to try and dry the tears away, but he doesn't look back at Strange.

"I don't know what else I can do," he sniffs. "You won't let me help you when I try. You tell me you're fine, but you're not."

It's crushing, to feel like it doesn't mean enough.

"I don't think I've been fine for a while," Strange admits, as he gives Yuya a little hiccup of a laugh. He reaches up to rub his eyes as well as he looks over at Yuya...and winces a little when he sees Yuya not looking at him.

He thought that this was something he could take care of on his own but the cold hard truth of multiple emotional outbursts in the span of a half hour and the fact that he got so wrapped up in his own head that he set an entire fucking farm on fire and happily participated in fae murder is a bit of a sobering realization that no. He can't take care of this himself, can he.

"I'm sorry I didn't let you help before," he admits. "If I tell you about it, will you listen?"

Nobody in the carnival has been fine for a while. Certainly not Yuya.

He snaps his attention back to Strange, wide-eyed. It's a little pathetic, the hope in his expression as Strange agrees to talk to him. He smiles, losing his hesitance as he takes a step closer.

"Of course I will." Because Strange is his friend, and he cares. He's already way off the edge and a little desperate for this to be the friendship he thought it was.

"We should probably sit down," Strange sheepishly responds, as he sits down, cross-legged on the scorched earth. "This might take a while."

And, for the sake of me not having to dialogue all of this and making the thread not be fifteen more comments of Strange bitching about his problems, Strange just friggen lets it all out. He tells Yuya the fact that he wants to be powerful enough to protect everybody but he hates it that he isn't. The fact that the Silver Mirror changed him and it's absolutely scary but also kind of wonderful and the fact that he finds it wonderful is a bit scary. The fact that he wants to protect Ignatius and wants to make him proud because Ignatius is amazing and powerful and respects him and actually tells him things, does Yuya know how beautiful it is when someone trusts you enough to tell you things, but every time he tries to keep Ignatius safe, Strange fails at it. The fact that the Technicians changed him and everybody else is horrified by what happened to them, but Strange doesn't mind what happened to him because he's only had it for a few days but turning into fire is amazing and he feels a little bad that he likes this so much. The fact that he's pretty sure most of the carnival sees him as a useful source of magic and exposition and not an actual person and really, half his information he gets just by talking to people, why the hell is he the only person who seems to do that?

The fact that he's still bitter that the Ringmaster placed him in research because honestly, Strange doesn't mind if he gets hurt while protecting the carnival but it's never going to happen as long as he's in research, since he thinks Childermass views him as something to keep safe and not an actual person. The fact that he knows he's a soldier, he's accepted that he's a soldier, he's fought in the peninsula and he's a nightrunner in the carnival and Ignatius thought he was fit enough to be a soldier, but everyone's so scared that he's going to break or going to mess something up that he's not in the thick of it where he should be. The fact that he's gotten way more cavalier about hurting people and blood-thirsty lately and that's another thing that scares him about himself. And the overwhelming fact, just repeated all throughout Strange's slightly disjointed ramblings, that he misses Arabella and wants to see her and is absolutely terrified that he'll die or be enthralled or what not and he won't ever see her again.

There's probably a little bit of gross crying in the middle of this as well as moments where Strange's flames just shoot right up in anger because he's all over the emotional spectrum and navigating a few months worth of bottled up emotions is tricky.

Once that's all done and said, Strange pauses. That...feels good? But also super tiring. But kind of good. He takes a deep breath and tries to steady his emotions and train his mind back to something calm.

"That was more than I expected to say."

Edited 2018-11-14 21:49 (UTC)

Yuya nods, seating himself right next to Strange and listening with rapt attention.

For the most part he just listens, except when there's feelings he can confirm he understands. That he knows how it's like to always fail to protect someone who matters, because he never did save Yuzu and kind of sucks at protecting Gongenzaka. That he hates not being strong enough for what feels like a simple desire, that he doesn't have power that others make look so easy. How much he misses Yuzu, too, and he's afraid of never making it back home to her and his family. Those feelings, Strange isn't alone in. Yuya struggles with them too, constantly.

When it's safe he puts a reassuring hand on his arm, and when the fire flares up he leans back just so that they don't add 'accidentally burned Yuya' to the list of things he's worrying about.

When it ends, his expression twists a little wryly. "You've been keeping a lot in, haven't you?"

He says it lightly, gently, but it's true. "It didn't fix everything, but... does it feel better to talk about it?"

"I'm not used to talking about things," Strange points out, matching Yuya's wry smile with one of his own. "Back home, I'd tell all this to Arabella. And here...well, aside from you, my closest friends are Lambert and Childermass."

Both of who are amazingly emotionally stunted in radically different ways. Strange doesn't have to say 'I've only rarely talked about things like my emotions with them' because in his mind, that's pretty obvious.

"But you're right: it does feel better," Strange admits. He lies back down on the burned earth, looking up at the artificial sky as he continues to take a few deep breaths. "And you were also right about earlier. I should talk to Ignatius. Just...maybe when I'm a bit more put together," says the slightly snotty and red-eyed magician.

He thought he was being kind by giving the fae space. But after this, after Strange vocalized all his worries, his thoughts, there was a part of him in the middle of all that which realized hey you moron, if you and Yuya both feel the same about some things, it's entirely possible that you and Ignatius feel the same about some things as well. After all, how many of them see him as an actual person and not just the current thing that's keeping them all alive.

Yuya doesn't know Childermass as well, but Lambert... yeah, there's a bit of a sympathetic wince at him being the only person Strange could try to talk to. Lambert has a hard time unravelling his own feelings, although he's sure that he'd try his best because he cares about Strange.

Yuya chuckles, reaching again to wipe his own face dry. It's less red from crying now. "Yeah... it's less embarrassing to cry if you don't look like you already were."

Says the massive crybaby. He smiles warmly, and then falls back to join Strange in lying against the ground.

And falls right on his injured shoulder blade. His eyes snap wide open and his whole body tenses, briefly frozen in pain before he yelps and makes a jerky grab for his injured arm. "Ah--OW!"

He forgot about that.

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I'm so sorry for this tl;dr, homeboy's got issues

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