[CLOSED] It's Not Parting Ways When Immortality Is Cheap

[betheman]

Who: Yuuya and Gongenzaka (And Marishi, potentially)
When: When the Ringmaster was letting people mull over Godhood
Where: The Junk-pile where the Giant's Tent was
What: Gongenzaka and Yuuya discuss their (opposing) decisions
Warnings: Possibly some existential chatter, since, Immortality. References to past violent events.


With all the trappings of the Carnival missing, it is very much a shell of what it was. Or perhaps more accurately, the snail inside the shell. There is grass and some trees at least yes, but when Gongenzaka finally made his way back to his tent he was in for quite the sight. Aside from a pair of slowly waking undead animals (who were now being excitedly greeted by the chipmunk of the trio which had managed to travel all through Polaris and such, not to mention Suzu the granbull), everything else was...a mess.

Where the washroom was, certain cleaning supplies were simply on the ground. The party console sat without a television or a shelf in the overly barren living-room clearing, and as for what was left in the bedroom...

...Well, at least a bunch of pillows and blankets gathered over time were still there.

Which in turn, made it a good spot to sit he determined. Collapsing on his back in a heap, Gongenzaka closes his eyes and gives a small groan- the various pets settling elsewhere.

A massive boost in power... ...that will without a doubt change his place in the entire multiverse.

It's a big thing to consider, and at his side his daemon appears to chat with him softly about it.

This is something that requires more than just inner thinking, he feels.

Comments

[hippocarnival]

Yuya's attention snaps up at that and he's shocked silent. It reminds him of what Lambert said, thinking Childermass would live on past him. He'd regret not trying, wouldn't he? It was such an easy choice for him, but Yuya's home comes with so many more stakes. If it were the other way around, would Gongenzaka have just said yes?

Yuya blinks rapidly as his vision blurs with tears. "Then... shouldn't it be an easier choice for me? If I love you..."

If he loves him just as much, why is he still so scared of taking it? Why is he holding back?

Yuya grips his head, fingers tangling in his hair as he squeezes his eyes shut. "So why isn't it an easy choice?!"

[betheman]

Of course it can't be easy- between Yuuya's own experiences, and theirs...

"Yuuya-" Marishi is cut off, Gongenzaka moving to try and hold the other close.

"Yuuya...I... ...I, the man Gongenzaka...will go to rescind my acceptance...if...if it is like this..."

"Noboru, that is not how you fix things," Marishi hisses from behind the other, her partner resolutely trying not to look anyone in the eye.

[hippocarnival]

Yuya's easily captured in Gongenzaka's arms, not even trying to avoid it--although he doesn't quite hold back.

He realizes maybe it came across as pressuring, but he just wanted Gongenzaka to be certain. Because when he makes the choice, there won't be any taking it back. And it's a really big choice. He'd taken Gongenzaka's awareness for granted already, and he didn't want to risk it again.

"... Are you saying that because you really don't want it, or because of me?"

Is it an easy choice for Gongenzaka, just to go where Yuya goes?

[betheman]

Despite himself, Gongenzaka flinches at the accusation. Marishi is silent.

Gongenzaka is silent.

And not a word is spoken, not even a stammer.

He's simply frozen up.

[hippocarnival]

"It's that easy for you, is it?" Yuya smiles brokenly to himself through tears. It's a choice that's so much easier for everyone but him. Because he's scared and selfish. Gongenzaka deserves better.

"What do you really want to do, Gongenzaka?"

[betheman]

"I... ...Yuuya, you are not... ...It is not selfish, to not want power. It..."

Gongenzaka's words are honest, and yet his very voice seems to shatter with every word, until he can't say anything more. His hold on Yuuya is loose, and he cannot look to the other- not the least because of the haze of tears clouding them.

"I am sorry, Yuuya...This...this is not..."

"...we don't want to decide for you," Marishi says softly. "...it wouldn't be right."

[hippocarnival]

"But that's not what I asked." Yuya pulls back a little, then, when it's loose enough to see can look at Gongenzaka. "Aren't you kind of letting me choose for you, anyway? It's still not... fair."

Sometimes, Gongenzaka is a little too willing to suffer. He supposes they both share that trait, and that's where they get stuck circling each other like this. Waiting for which one will cave first.

Maybe Yuya should be the one to cave this time. "If it's what you want then do it, please. I'll..."

He takes a deep breath. "I'll give it a shot, for you."

[betheman]

The shock is evident on both of their faces- and perhaps there is a flash of joy on Marishi's in particular, though it is quickly hidden. But Gongenzaka blinks, and blinks rapidly as the welled tears finally roll down his face. "Y...Yuuya... ...Yuuya...are you certain..?"

"...We..." Marishi herself is even torn once again, at this point. The partial elation is clear, and yet there are so many other things to consider- how much Yuuya could regret it, for example. "...If you do want to try..."

"...You should talk to her," Gongenzaka finally determines. "...To the Ringmaster, yes? ...just...to make sure, for yourself," he emphasizes with a tight voice.

[hippocarnival]

"I have to tell her I'm going to accept it anyway, don't I?" He'll do that, in a minute. They still have the rest of the day to decide. He thinks he needs to at least put on a front of certainty for Gongenzaka, or he'll almost certainty harbor regret himself about it.

'Try' isn't a great word for permanently altering their being, but it's easier to talk about it lightly again than the heavy reality of what they're faced with.

"Maybe I'm thinking too quickly, but... I kind of want forever."

He really wants forever with Gon. He took forever for granted, he needs to make some concessions if that's what he really wants.

[betheman]

"A...Aauh, that you would..." It's a little difficult to immediately calm down from the stressful tears, and Gongenzaka rather uselessly wipes at his eyes to that end.

"...To spend forever with you," he manages quietly, "Would be wonderful, I feel..."

[hippocarnival]

Yuya reaches to wipe Gon's tears away, nevermind the ones running down his own face.

After a moment he leans forward to lean against Gongenzaka, resting his head on his shoulder as he fits in the crook of his arm.

"I love you," he affirms, in Faeish as always.

[betheman]

Gongenzaka sniffles, eyes closed tightly- as if the tears could stop if he only held them in. He pulls Yuuya in tight, shaking in his silence.

"...Aishite," he replies, his voice a wheezing whisper.

[hippocarnival]

It's not enough of a whisper for Yuya to miss it, although he's uncertain if he heard correctly at first.

"G-Gongenzaka!" He squeaks, face going red because that's so much and yet he doesn't doubt it at all. Yuya isn't shy about verbal affection, but he hadn't been expecting to hear that one so soon.

"A... aishite," he stutters a little, still kind of shocked.

[betheman]

The redness is certainly nothing Gongenzaka is seeing right now. But hearing it from Yuuya as well just prompts him to continue holding tightly, no more words coming to the air. Only somewhat uneven breathing, as he holds the other close.

[hippocarnival]

Yuya sighs softly, listening to Gongenzaka breathe as he holds him tightly. He tolerates that for a few seconds, but he's jittery from the admission and that he's actually going to follow through with this. He didn't think, when he first joined the carnival, this is where they would be.

"...Are you going to ask to marry me next?"

Is that a joke.

[betheman]

"PFHKUUU-OH!" And...that's almost a spit take.

"Oh!! Don't tease us like this!!" Marishi protests shrilly, her partner still choking to catch his breath.

[hippocarnival]

A smile cracks Yuya's expression, and he uses the moment to push back so he can face Gongenzaka. "It just seems like we skipped a few steps, you know?"

He puts his finger to Gon's lips before he can respond, looking coy. "But you can't ask that until we're at least twenty."

[betheman]

"MNH!! I- It was not going to be asked for a while, I promise you..!!"

"And you can't tell me off for thinking about it for that matter!" Marishi...

[hippocarnival]

Yuya's gaze drifts sideways to Marishi. He doesn't move his hand. "Oh... so you were thinking about it?"

[betheman]

"Y...Yuuya..."

"Well...Perhaps....~" Marishi teases in turn, inspecting one paw.

"Marishi........." Kids,

[hippocarnival]

If Yuya's face could get redder, it would have. But he laughs, because honestly if he's agreeing to live forever to stay by Gon's side he might as well just go all the way with it. He's already been wooed and surprised by Gongenzaka's forwardness.

Yuya moves his hand to cups Gongenzaka's jaw instead, and decides this time he's going to win. "I guess it's only fair, it's body and soul, right? And you already took one of those..."

He smirks. "Should I get used to calling you Noboru?"

[betheman]

"AUHHH..!!"

"But that's my thing!" Marishi huffs, her partner only choking more.

"Y-Yuuya, let us take this one step at a time perhaps..!!"

[hippocarnival]

"I was~." And he's grateful, suddenly, that Gon's blood glows so he still knows exactly how much he's blushing.

"But you take big steps. Who said 'I love you' first? And you said yourself, you weren't very restrained with your soul in me... I can't let my audience stay ahead of me, you know?"

[betheman]

"G-OH...."

"Ooohh...."

He's certainly done a good job of rendering them silent- the smaller of the two no doubt considering the benefits of this nonsense...

"W...Well..." Please, spare them,

[hippocarnival]

Yuya lets the silence sit before he pinches Gongenzaka's cheek.

"You're pretty cute like this, too. Have you really not thought about how things were going...?"

There was a lot of things happening around their budding relationship, of course, but Gongenzaka sure did initiate a lot of it.