lostcarnival | dumb brothers

who: these assholes again
where: a phone to leave the matrix
when: after susan's failed attempt at matchmaking
what: susan finally heads back to the carnival, but his brother is waiting for him

Susan didn't really have anywhere to storm off to here, like he does back home or even at the Carnival, but that didn't stop him from running off when he was angry at Lauren. He would go back, but it would be so much easier for Lauren to find him at the Carnival than it is here, and he doesn't want to talk to him yet. Not until he stopped being mad. Not until Lauren was done being mad, too, and wouldn't yell about how Susan did something wrong when he was only trying to help.

Without anywhere specific to go, Susan ends up wandering for quite a while before finally giving in and deciding to head back.

...But before he can even get there, he sees his stupid brother, and he stops for a moment before continuing to walk forward, not saying anything to him. He knows Lauren's going to still be mad, and he doesn't want to hear it right now.

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"I know you did." It's not like he thought that Susan had hurt someone intentionally. "It was just a mistake."

Everyone makes them, it doesn't have to mean anything more or less than that. As long as you learned from it a mistake didn't mean anything bad.

"I've made them too..."

Lots of them, more than he'd like to admit.

He doesn't respond to that. He doesn't make a lot of mistakes, and so it's hard when he has to admit that this really was one, even when he was trying to do the right thing. He doesn't know what to do, now that he has to face the fact he messed up, and so he just stays quiet, resting his head on his knees as he sits on the bed.

He listens, waiting for a response, but there's only silence.

"I love you."

It takes him a bit to respond, and when he does, his response is possibly too quiet and muffled for Lauren to hear as he's basically just talking into his lap at this point.

"I love you too..."

Lauren waits, then he stands. He comes into the bedroom area, where Susan sits with Fluff. He see's his brother curled in on himself, and he can't help but feel like he's really fucked up. He sits down next to Susan, putting an arm around his brother.

"Susan. What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

There really isn't much wrong, that he knows about. He just feels bad because he messed up, and he doesn't know how to handle it. Almost every other time he's messed up that he can remember hasn't really been his fault, so it's not the same as this.

He leans over, so he can be closer to Susan, trying to see his face.

"I'm not mad anymore. Everything's okay."

He's still looking down, but he leans into his brother after a moment.

"I'm not mad, either." But that doesn't really mean everything's okay. He isn't crying (he's not a baby, only babies cry), but Lauren can probably still hear the upset in his voice.

Lauren holds Susan close. He doesn't know why Susan is upset, and he doesn't know how to ask either. He just knows he doesn't like it.

"Susie, everything's okay. It's all alright."

He shakes his head a little, trying not to let himself cry. It's hard when Lauren holds him close like this and calls him that like he's a little kid, but at the same time he likes it, it's familiar and warm and comforting.

"I messed up."

"Everyone does sometimes." he murmurs, voice low and hushed. He knocks his forehead gently against Susan's for a second, before he's shifting, and pulling Susan into his lap.

"It's really going to be okay."

He has to just take Lauren's word for it, he knows, but it's hard. He still feels bad, even with Lauren saying that, and even though it's not anything big, he just can't shake the bad feelings.

"I'm sorry..." He leans against his brother again as he's pulled into his lap, Fluff moving after a moment to climb into Susan's lap after.

He just holds his brother close.

"I know."

He rubs Susan's back, doing what he can to calm him. He wishes he could do more, but Lauren knows sometimes when you feel bad you just need time to let yourself get over it.

He falls silent after that, just sitting quietly in Lauren's lap and petting his familiar. He really just needs to stop thinking about it, but for now that's hard and so he just does his best to not worry and just be comfortable here.

dumb brothers

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