lostcarnival | (no subject)

Entry tags:

lauren,
susan

(no subject)

Who: Lauren and Susan (again)
Where: their trailer (again)
When: a while ago! (aka after susan was found in the dream realm and brought back)
What: more brother shenanigans (again)

Susan wasn't sure why, but everything hurt. He thought he had just been sleeping, but that wouldn't explain this... He slowly opens his eyes, blinking as he looks around at their trailer, trying to figure out what happened. Did he forget something important?

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Lauren of course is right by Susan's side. His clothes are a mess, and he's got some injuries here and there, scraps and bruises. He's tired, he knows he needs rest, but he can't sleep, not yet. Not until he knows that Susan is okay. He's lost in thought half asleep when Susan starts to stir. He doesn't even notice at first. When he does notice he jumps in his chair, startled.

"Susan!" he leans in close, putting a hand on Susan's chest to stop him from sitting up. "Susan are you alright?!"

Lauren's hand doesn't stop him from trying, at first, but he finally lets himself just fall back to the bed.

"I don't..." He looks confused, still trying to figure out what exactly is going on. Why does Lauren look hurt?

"You don't remember..."

Lauren looks down at his brother, so glad he's awake, but still upset and concerned because of what happened. He swipes some of his brothers hair out of his face, looking down at him as he tries to think of what to say.

"Something took you."

His brow furrows as he thinks about that. He doesn't remember anything, really, or at least nothing that would cause this... All that he does remember is confusing, and he tries not to think about it for now.

"What are you talking about?"

He bites his lip, trying to stop from getting upset. There really didn't seem to be any way he could explain this without upsetting Susan, but still, he had to try.

"A nightmare possessed you and ran into the dream realm."

He'd suspected Susan might not remember, of course, but did he really have no memory of the event whatsoever?

He tries again to sit up, wincing a little as he does.

"N-no, I'd remember that...!" And it couldn't happen anyway, right? Lauren made sure they had a dreamcatcher so nothing bad could happen.

He moves his hand to his brothers shoulder, gently trying to hold him down. He's visibly upset, even as he tries to stop his brother from moving around.

"Don't. You're still hurt."

"I don't wanna lay down!"

He stops moving, though, and just looks away pouting. Really that's not what's upsetting him at all, but it's an easy outlet for it.

He sighs, not sure at all what to do here. Susan's reaction to everything was anger, no matter what he was feeling. Lauren knew that, but it didn't make dealing with it any easier. Lauren tries to put himself in Susan's shoes. Waking up hurt with no idea what's happened, knowing you may have hurt someone you didn't mean to, Susan had every right to be upset. Still.

Lauren reaches for his brother's hand, holding it in his own.

"I'm sorry."

It was Lauren's fault this happened, because he couldn't protect his brother.

Susan still stays looking away, for now, staying quiet. He doesn't understand how that could happen, how he couldn't really remember it. Everything he did remember was fuzzy, like... a dream. And Lauren was hurt, and he was hurt... He must have hurt him. This was his fault, not Lauren's, and Lauren's apologizing now?

He hesitates, not sure if Susan is annoyed by him or not. The silence is uncomfortable though. Being considered annoying is worth it if it means he can break the quiet.

"Do you want me to tell you what happened?"

It takes him a moment, but he finally nods. He has a vague idea of what might have happened, and he isn't sure he likes it... But still, he wants to know, especially if Lauren does.

As the silence goes on Lauren thinks at first that Susan really is mad at him, that he's being ignored, but then Susan nods. Lauren hesitates. Even though he offered to tell Susan what's happened, he's not sure where to start.

"When I woke up you weren't there. I asked Fluff to find you, and she couldn't. We went looking for you in the dream realm, but you weren't yourself. Some people got hurt, but... But everyone's fine. We couldn't even defeat you. We only managed to free you when a spell backfired..."

He's quiet again, taking in Lauren's words. He eventually looks back at his brother again, looking a bit confused, but letting him talk. It isn't until after he's finished that Susan finally speaks up.

"I hurt you."

Lauren looks away. The expression of hurt and confusion on Susan's face is difficult to look at. It only makes him feel even worse.

"It wasn't you."

He shakes his head, looking away.

"It was, I did it. I remember..."

"You do?"

He thought he didn't. Maybe he didn't realize it until now? What must it have felt like, to not be in control of yourself?

He nods a little. He'd figured (hoped?) that it was a dream, and maybe it kind of was... But it also was real, it seemed.

"I do... I remember fighting you."

He hesitates, unsure what to say. He looks to Susan, studying his face as though he'll be able to find the words there, but he doesn't. It doesn't matter, all he needs to do is tell the truth.

"I remember the fight too and I know that wasn't you."

"But it was. It was my magic."

It's not often that his magic is something he sees as bad at all. He loves his magic, it's a part of him and it sets him apart from everyone else. But when it's turned against himself or someone he cares about, he can't help but think a bit badly of it.

"But you didn't cast it. You'd never attack me or any other innocent person. I know that."

It doesn't make any difference to Lauren who's magic it was. The person in control, the person casting the magic, that was the person that had hurt them. Susan was just an unfortunate bystander.

He's quiet after that, for a few long moments, before speaking again.

"It's still mine."

It's not that he doesn't understand what Lauren means, but he still can't help but feel it's at least a little bit his fault.

He looks away. He's frustrated, but not at Susan. He's mad at himself for being unable to convince his brother this wasn't his fault. He shifts, moving to pull the covers back.

"It's okay... No one blames you."

He scoots into bed beside his brother, pulling the blankets back around them both.

Susan scoots over to let his brother in, staying quiet. He doesn't like feeling like things are his fault, especially things he can't help, but he can't stop. At least if he remembered it better or had actually done it himself, maybe he could feel differently. As it is, he just feels a bit lost and guilty.

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