but all this time i've been chasing down a lie

[dontpokethat]

Who: Ginko and a whole bunch of people (Sans, Joker, Snake, Zecora, Tanyuu…)
What: In the aftermath of Foster’s shitty mushi plot, Ginko isn’t doing great.
When: From Day 90 onward
Where: Medical tent, trailer 13, and menagerie
Warnings: Possible talk of Foster’s shitty reasoning, also Ginko is a pile of depression and self-hatred in a trenchcoat.

Zecora - Medical Tent - Day 90 afternoon

Ginko was unconscious when Tanyuu first brought him in, bruised and scraped from the fight with Foster on top of his already being exhausted. After a certain point, though, he’s just… asleep, and remains that way through the night and well into the next day. The past few days - between the mushi leeching off his blood supply and the lack of sleep from trying to handle the infestations around the carnival and stressing himself out over them - have taken their toll.

Normally, he’d be pushing himself up the moment he woke up, always moving before his brain is even fully awake. But, today, he just lies there for a few seconds, staring up at the ceiling, before lifting a hand to press his palm over his face.

“...Shit.”

Tanyuu - Trailer 13

Once it’s been confirmed that he’s good to go (and he’s promised not to strain himself too much), Ginko and Tanyuu head back to their trailer. Of course, agreeing not to tire himself out more doesn’t mean Ginko isn’t going to want Tanyuu to catch him up on what happened while was out - what happened to Foster, what was being done about the repellent.

The whole time they’re talking, he keeps fidgeting, whether with his sleeves or his hair or just in the form of his tail twisting and lashing around his ankles. “So… things are being worked out, right? Just… that’s all I need to know.”

Snake - morning of Day 92 - Menagerie

By all rights, this should be the best off Ginko has been in the past several days. In a lot of ways, it is; with the mushi situation finally under control, things are more or less looking up - and, since the mushi that had been leeching off his blood are finally being removed, little by little, he should be feeling a lot better.

Should be. He is feeling better of course, but he’s still more tired than he’d normally expect, and getting himself to go back to work when the time comes proves something of a challenge. But it’s not like he’s never had this problem before, and he does get to the menagerie, albeit a little later than usual.

His ears flick forward when he sees Snake already there, and he gives a small wave as he heads over to watch him feed his snakes. “‘Morning. How are they doing?”

Joker - Menagerie

For all intents and purposes, Ginko seems to be settling back into his work as if everything is normal - though he may seem a little more singlemindedly focused on it when he’s working, and a little less focused on anything when he isn’t. Of course, he’s still having trouble bringing himself to seek out conversation outside of what’s necessary, but… that’s probably fine. Even now, part of him wonders if it might be for the best.

Even when cleaning out the enclosures, he doesn’t pause for long between stalls. Clear out the muck, wash what needs to be washed, change out bedding and food as necessary - it’s a simple, easy pattern to keep up. Like walking, putting one foot in front of the other; he doesn’t need to think for it.

Sometimes, not thinking can be a nice change of pace.

Sans - Barn

Breaks… might pose a problem. Theoretically he could just keep working through them, but the opportunity to pause for a while is more tempting than usual… even if as soon as he’s not working he starts wishing he were. He’s used to spending his breaks chatting, wandering around the carnival to visit with coworkers, but… no way. Not right now.

Which leaves one obvious solution. Going back to his trailer would take too long and probably get some questions from Tanyuu if she catches him. So, instead, he just… flops down on a pile of hay in the corner of the barn. He’s slept in worse places.

Comments

IT IS FINE meanwhile i'm sorry about This

[dontpokethat]

It's only because of that singleminded focus that it takes Ginko as long as it does to realize Joker is there. He's pausing in his work, leaning on his pitchfork while he catches his breath, when he finally catches sight of the - in retrospect rather obvious - stage manager.

Should he say something? Almost immediately, he remembers what Psi had told him just the other day. Of course, he knows that it's not like he's going to end up yelling at Joker, but that's not to say he won't find some other way to screw up.

So instead he just stands there like a deer (ha) in headlights, ears drooping.

[pipers_son]

Any other day, and it'd be kind of funny how Ginko freezes up at the sight of him as if he just popped out of nowhere like a ghost. However, with recent events, well... He straightens up a bit, ears flicking upwards in contrast to Ginko's droop and wings ruffling a little bit.

"Haven't been overworkin' yerself, have ya, Ginko?"

[dontpokethat]

So... Joker is talking to him now. But he doesn't know yet if this is "back on speaking terms" talking or just... temporary. Like the last time.

He shakes his head, breaking eye contact as soon as Joker speaks. "No, just... back to it like always."

[pipers_son]

"No offense, Ginko," he points out, "but I've been here for probably fifteen minutes, I think."

So, yeah. He's not really buying that. And he knows you, Ginko.

[dontpokethat]

Ginko's shoulders hunch a little. "...I'm just doing my job, that's all. It's nothing to worry about."

So far as he's concerned, it really isn't. He's just working, and if he's a little more focused on that than usual, that should be a good thing, right?

[pipers_son]

Fortunate, really, that Ginko isn't much of a liar like Joker is, or else the stage manager thinks they might have some problems. Still, even if he's not much of a liar, Joker wonders if he'd have to same kind of reaction to being called out he does. Not something he wants to risk.

Still.... What to say in that case? Maybe just treat it like normal, and he goes to find a perch to sit on. "Well, if yer just doin' yer job, got time ta break for a bit?"

[dontpokethat]

"Um... sure." He rests the pitchfork against the fence, watching Joker uncertainly. It's been a while since he's stopped by, and Ginko has to wonder if he's going to acknowledge that at some point, or if it's just going to be like it was with Psi before they actually talked through the problem.

Of course, there is the very relevant difference that it doesn't seem like Joker is actually angry with him, which is a relief. But, glad for it though he may be, that doesn't explain why he's talking to him again. "Something up?"

[pipers_son]

Once he's found his perch, seated as the world's gaudiest emotionally incompetent bird, Joker rolls the words around in his head and then his mouth before saying them. "Ya could probably hear that I was a bit... glib durin' that whole business a bit back..."

Party at Joker's trailer, let's listen and hope we hear Foster dying.

"But I was worried about ya. So just.... Are ya really okay?"

[dontpokethat]

"...Right. All that."

Ginko stuffs his hands into his pockets, looking away. Joker's attitude hadn't been too much of a surprise, given how he seemed to prefer to approach... everything. But Ginko... sure did maybe possibly have an extremely public breakdown, huh. He could just brush it off, and a while ago he would have, but that seems to be getting him into a lot of trouble lately.

"I'm... not sure yet." Even that much still feels strange to admit - even if he's been doing it a lot lately. So he pulls it back again, just a little, shoulders hunching. "I will be, anyway."

[pipers_son]

He will be, huh? Well.... Joker guesses that's true, and nods slightly. Everyone will be all right, eventually, given enough time. Maybe this will be more of a 'sooner' than 'later' kind of deal. It'd be nice to think, anyway.

"...Anythin' ya need? That I could help with?"

[dontpokethat]

Ginko shakes his head, though it's a little hesitant. "I... don't think so, but thanks. I'll... I'll let you know if that changes."

But, with that said, he pauses for a moment, brow furrowed. Might as well get this out of the way. "So, just to be sure, you're... not upset with me, are you? 'Course, if you are, this would probably be the time to say so."

[pipers_son]

The question makes Joker blink, drawing back a little in surprise, but even as a part of his mind asks why, he.... Glancing away, he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. Nah, he knows why. Psi had been one thing, but that was.... Ugh. That was a mess on both their parts. At least, Joker still can't settle from the way the troll had approached it. But Ginko?

"Nah, I ain't upset." His face twists a little, like he's tasting something bitter. "Was just embarrassed for a bit, I suppose." Getting a hold of himself, Joker glances back to Ginko, grinning lopsidedly. "Spent a good couple of years buildin' up a nice reputation, then I go and get stuck in a tree! Besides, I figured ya would want some space after I fell on ya."

A pause.

"...That happened, right, I ain't particularly sure."

[dontpokethat]

Ginko's shoulders slump in his relief at hearing that. That's one less thing to worry about. "Ha. Yeah, that... definitely did happen. But, it's alright; I'm just glad you ended up back in your trailer in one piece."

He... won't address the rest of what happened. Not yet, not knowing how that went over for Psi. They'll need to talk about it at some point, but, unless Joker decides to bring it up, that point won't be now.

[pipers_son]

"Sorry about worryin' ya, and almost breakin' yer back before that!" Joker flashes a grin, relieved too. To think that Ginko would- no, he can see that. It had been his fault, for avoiding things, and then just getting swept up in all his work. Ginko won't judge him.

....Actually, he'd pretty sure he judges him a little, but so long as he's quiet about it, it's fine.

Still... Now that they're talking about it, Joker can't help but rustle his wings, trying to hide how... tentative he is about the question he's about to ask. "Speakin' of that... Doll, she- well, there wasn't any trouble with her, was there?"

[dontpokethat]

It would take significantly more than getting drunk and stuck in a tree and then avoiding him for Ginko to judge Joker. He's more worried than anything.

"Hm... no, not really." He shrugs, tilting his head slightly as he thinks it over. "She wanted to know how it happened, but she calmed down once I told her I'd only found you in the tree. She seems like a good kid."

[pipers_son]

Relief floods through him, and, with it, he's free to grin brightly at Ginko's assessment. "She's the bleedin' star of our family," he gushes, leaning forward and gesturing energetically with his hand.

"She's so full of wit and vinegar- ha! I'd like ta think she get it from me, but that might be a little pompous, don't ya think?" His eyes sparkle as he laughs. "Ya won't meet a kinder or funnier lass. When she gets older, she's gonna be fightin' suitors off with a stick, I keep tellin' her, but she never believes she's half as pretty as she is."

[dontpokethat]

See, this is something he can deal with talking about. Ginko smiles, crossing his arms as he leans back against the fence.

"Nah, that seems like a pretty fair guess. ...What was that thing she called me, anyway, something about a pickaxe? You sure seemed to think it was funny."

[pipers_son]

Another snort of laughter this time, although at least Joker tries to hide it behind his hand. It doesn't quite suppress the wide grin, however. To tell him or not tell him? Well, it's not like there's any point in lying, he guesses. Ginko's probably heard worse.

"Mighta been a comment about yer nose, if she said what I think she said, although I can't remember that far along."

[dontpokethat]

"What? What about my nose?" He frowns, ears twitching slightly.

[pipers_son]

"It's big," Joker says casually but honestly, chuckling only a little. "Not that I find it a bad thing! Makes ya look nice and homey, somehow. Easy ta recognize, at any rate."

[dontpokethat]

"Uh... thanks, I guess?" Ginko frowns, caught somewhere between being flustered and irritated, and rests a couple fingers lightly on his nose for a moment. "...Is it seriously that big?"

[pipers_son]

"Pretty noticeable, I'd say!"

And then there's a long pause from the chatty stage manager that should be setting of Ginko's "bad idea" senses before he grins nice and wide. "I could give ya a nice comparison, if ya'd like!"

[dontpokethat]

Okay, yeah, that super sounds like he's about to suggest something ridiculous. Ginko squints suspiciously at Joker.

"What do you mean by a comparison, exactly?"

[pipers_son]

"Well, the best way ta compare somethin' is ta put 'em side by side, ain't it?" He's still grinning. This is absolutely going to be horrible.

[dontpokethat]

"Just say it. What are you trying to propose here."

Joker....