lostcarnival | dumb sad boys

Who: Lauren and Susan
What: ~~dumb brothers being sad - continued from here~~ OKAY NOW IT'S ACTUALLY A CATCH-ALL LAUREN+SUSAN POST FOR PRE-ALOLA JUNK
When: ~~Day 68 at night~~ a variety, starting with night of day 68
Where: their trailer

Although he eventually came out of the bathroom that first night, Susan still didn't talk to Lauren. Instead he avoided his brother as best he could, falling asleep curled up with Fluff (and Stanley, if she let him) on the bed.

The next day he went out, even though Lauren had told him not to; he didn't know a lot about vampires, and even though he felt bad doing it (especially when he was still worried about Lauren), he was pretty sure they couldn't go out in the sun, so it was an easy way to not have to talk to him. He didn't want another argument, not any more - not that he knew what else to do, not when he was feeling pretty bad now, but that didn't matter. He just didn't want Lauren to yell at him and tell him he's wrong.

By that night, though, he still wasn't feeling any better - and even though he still didn't want to really talk to his brother, he still missed him and wanted to be with him.

Once it was late, and he was sure Lauren would be asleep, Susan quietly left the sofa where he'd been originally planning on sleeping, instead slipping into the room with his brother. From there he quietly made his way to the bed, climbing under the covers while being as careful as he could to not wake him.

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He shrugs a little, not really sure what Lauren's trying to get at or anything.

"I don't know... It's different, here." It's hard to put it in words, especially when a lot of it is guilt that he's having a hard time wrapping his head around.

He nods looking away, he never really expected to have this kind of a conversation with Susan. Suddenly it hits him that Susan is growing up. If only he'd been smarter, he'd have been with Susan during the fight. Maybe he could have stopped his brother from feeling this way.

"Susan, sometimes bad things happen, and we just have to deal with the aftermath the best we can."

It's a long moment before he shakes his head.

"I don't want them to happen. I can stop them so they don't have to happen."

"You can't stop everything, you're just one person."

He knows it's unrealistic, but he doesn't even care. He shakes his head again.

"I can do it, I just have to start with small things first."

"I'm glad you want to help... But it's important to know your limitations."

Susan doesn't have anything to say to that, and he falls silent. He just wants to help, so no one gets hurt, and he'll do anything to help people. Lauren knows that he will. He just doesn't want anything to happen to anyone... But especially to his brother.

He watches his brother, wishing he knew what the other half-elf was thinking, but though he tries to reach for an answer his thoughts leave him empty handed.

"I know you tried your best to help. It's not your fault things went bad."

He hesitates again before he responds quietly.

"I should have tried harder... I should have been with you."

"You did everything you could."

He shakes his head, but he doesn't have anything else to add to that. He could have tried harder.

"Susan..." he shifts, looking at his brother from where he's seated, before wrapping his arms around Susan as best he can.

"I love you. Thank you for trying to help me."

He leans into his brother's hug, even as he shakes his head again.

"But, I didn't do anything, I..." He trails off, shaking his head again. He feels useless, and like this was his fault, and he doesn't like it or even know how to talk about it.

"You fought my... Attacker. You protected me while I was unconscious. I would never have made it this far without you."

He just shakes his head again, not wanting to think about it, but also not feeling like Lauren is even right.

"But, you shouldn't have gotten attacked in the first place... You shouldn't have even been there."

He pulls back, look at Susan in concern and confusion.

"How could you have stopped it? You had no way of knowing what would happen."

He shakes his head, looking down at the table instead of at his brother.

"I, I don't know, but I could have done something..."

"Susan, you couldn't have. There was nothing you could do."

He shakes his head again, but he doesn't say anything else. He sniffs and wipes his face with one arm, but other than that he's quiet, just trying not to cry again. He feels like he's been crying so much, but he isn't a baby. He can't cry.

"Oh Susan..." he murmurs, before holding his brother closer again. "What can I do to convince you."

He sniffles again when Lauren pulls him close, snuggling close into him as he shakes his head again. He doesn't know what to do, or what to say, all he knows is he doesn't like this. He doesn't like Lauren being hurt, he doesn't like other people getting hurt, he doesn't like feeling like it's his fault, he doesn't like feeling like he isn't doing the right thing.

He just lets his brother cry against him as he holds him close. Regret isn't an easy thing to deal with, and he's not sure Susan's ever had to deal with it before.

"I love you."

He cries quietly, trying to not be obvious with it, even if Lauren already can tell he's crying. He doesn't want him to know, he doesn't even want to cry in the first place, but he can't help it. Everything is too much and he just doesn't know how else to handle it.

By the time Lauren says that he's calmed down, but it still takes him a bit to respond.

"...I love you too." That's why this is so hard.

dumb sad boys

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