dumb sad boys

[wild_magic]

Who: Lauren and Susan
What: dumb brothers being sad - continued from here OKAY NOW IT'S ACTUALLY A CATCH-ALL LAUREN+SUSAN POST FOR PRE-ALOLA JUNK
When: Day 68 at night a variety, starting with night of day 68
Where: their trailer

Although he eventually came out of the bathroom that first night, Susan still didn't talk to Lauren. Instead he avoided his brother as best he could, falling asleep curled up with Fluff (and Stanley, if she let him) on the bed.

The next day he went out, even though Lauren had told him not to; he didn't know a lot about vampires, and even though he felt bad doing it (especially when he was still worried about Lauren), he was pretty sure they couldn't go out in the sun, so it was an easy way to not have to talk to him. He didn't want another argument, not any more - not that he knew what else to do, not when he was feeling pretty bad now, but that didn't matter. He just didn't want Lauren to yell at him and tell him he's wrong.

By that night, though, he still wasn't feeling any better - and even though he still didn't want to really talk to his brother, he still missed him and wanted to be with him.

Once it was late, and he was sure Lauren would be asleep, Susan quietly left the sofa where he'd been originally planning on sleeping, instead slipping into the room with his brother. From there he quietly made his way to the bed, climbing under the covers while being as careful as he could to not wake him.

Comments

[mylastchance]

He sniffs again, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. He doesn't know why, but he can't stop crying. He'd be more embarrassed if he wasn't so tired. It's as though all his feelings have been trapped in a funnel, and only the heaviest most draining can force their way through. He wanted to be honest before, but he hadn't been. Instead of saying he was hurt, he only got mad.

"I don't know... What to say." His voice is shaky, it's clear he's crying, though it isn't like he was hiding it before.

[wild_magic]

Lauren doesn't often cry, and it's enough to show Susan again the seriousness of what was going on. He still doesn't really understand, but if Lauren was upset enough to ask for advice on the radio and to cry...

Susan stay quiet, not sure what to even say himself, but afraid if he says that then Lauren won't even try. He's afraid somehow he'll mess it up, and he knows he's good at talking, but right now he's not sure what he's even good at, everything is messed up.

[mylastchance]

"I'm s-scared..." He stutters out, feeling like a fool and a child but unable to quite make himself care. He really feels lost, like the ground could fall out from under him at any moment. He presses his eyes closed, taking a breath to regain his composure. It's useless.

"What if you get hurt again? What if the Ringmaster does something worse? What if you attack someone stronger than you? What if you attack someone who can't even defend themselves?!" He says all of it in a rush, like he can't get them out fast enough.

"I'm no good on my own. I can't do anything!" He's not quite a shout, but it isn't his normal speaking voice either. "There's no point... Without you."

[wild_magic]

Susan just shakes his head. He doesn't know what to say, he doesn't know what he can do to make this better, he just wants it all to go away. He wants to be mad again, because then he doesn't have to feel sad or empty, but he's so sick of being mad. He can't yell at Lauren again when he's finally trying to talk to him.

He finally shakes his head again, taking a second before starting to try and say something.

"Everything will be okay, in the end. So you don't have to be scared." Normally he'd believe it, too, but right now the words are hollow. Hopefully it's still enough to help his brother, though.

[mylastchance]

He shakes his head again. Again, he'd failed to explain

"You thinking like that is the scariest part of all."

[wild_magic]

"But... Everything will be okay. It has to be." He can't believe otherwise. For things to not be okay... He just doesn't know what he would do if things didn't work out. He has to believe everything will be right in the end.

"I just don't understand, why you're scared of things you can't change, that probably won't happen."

[mylastchance]

"They will happen if I don't watch out for them! Things don't work out just by luck. You have to think and plan."

[wild_magic]

Luck and accidents are how everything happens to Susan, so Lauren's insistence that they don't doesn't quite make sense to him. But he doesn't argue it, instead shaking his head as Lauren continues on.

"I'm no good at that. I don't know what'll happen, ever, things change all the time."

[mylastchance]

"You say that like you're so good at adapting to the situation, but when things really do change you don't act like that at all!"

This entire situation was proof of that. If Susan really was so good at adapting then would he ever have attacked the Ringmaster in the first place?

[wild_magic]

Susan falls silent again. He didn't say that, either, all he said was he wasn't good at what Lauren was asking of him. Now he doesn't even know what Lauren wants, and so he doesn't respond.

[mylastchance]

He messed up again. He rolls his head to the side, hitting the back of it against the trailer door with a thud.

"I'm not mad at you..."

Maybe they really did need to spend some time apart.

[wild_magic]

He doesn't answer, at first, and when he finally does he's quiet, sounding unsure of himself.

"I'm not mad, either. Or... Anything, really."