lostcarnival | CONFRONTATION

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CONFRONTATION

Who: The Psiioniic and Joker
When: Day 91
Where: Joker's Trailer
What: Pay attention to me.

He'd been waiting outside Joker's trailer for most of the day. He did wake up later than most of the other workers, so he wasn't surprised that Joker was gone by the time he came over. In fact, he'd been expecting this. He had a water bottle and a snack and he intended to wait for the stage manager as long as it took. He couldn't say with certainty that Joker was purposely avoiding him, but he was pretty sure that Joker was purposely avoiding him. When all else failed, force a confrontation, right? Joker would have to come back to his trailer eventually and when he did Psi would be waiting for him.

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After becoming a vampire, Joker's schedule has had to become a bit different. For all that he might be a night owl, he knows his performers generally aren't, and he can't leave them hanging. So he makes sure to hurry every morning before the sun has a chance to rise and burn half his asshole off, getting to the big tent where he's at least safe. From there, he organizes everyone up, checks on performances and practices when viable.... and then finds somewhere to fall unconscious that's out of the way after finally listening to a body that's yelling at him that he should be unconscious instead of running around like a tit.

Childermass is there to babysit Strange, so it's fine.

With periodic wake ups throughout the day to just double check that no one is on fire or dead and to get a quick lunch (dinner? his days are so buggered), he sticks in the tent for most of the day. On the bright side, when he's not asleep, he has plenty to do and practice... But still, it's a relief when it finally gets dark enough for him to leave the big tent with a stretch and take to the night air. Just a quick stop back at his trailer, to clean up, change out of his clothes, make sure Doll is settling in fine and check on Snake-

If he could screech to a halt in midair, he bloody well would at the sight of Psi essentially staking out his god damn trailer.

Fuck.

He can't read minds, which is something he's actually glad for, but considering he's pretty sure Joker's been avoiding him, it isn't hard to predict the humans current thought process. Psi grins widely, before he waves at his friend in the air.

"Joker!" He found you bastard, try ignoring him now. He shifts moving to stand in front of the trailer door, completely by coincidence you see. "Thought we could have a little talk!"

Fuuuuuuuck.

With more than a little bit of reluctance, he goes in for a landing and his wings don't quite close all the way when he does. It's a little thing he doesn't even think of, which is obvious because rationally he knows now that he's been called out, well... Making a run for it is just going to be worse. Dammit- why couldn't he have just hidden in the ferris wheel and had his emotional breakdown there?

Despite this tumultuous thoughts, he still manages to put on the same smile as he's always done, hand on his hip. "Oh yeah? What about in particular, then?"

He's smiling, but only because he's pleased he's finally managed to force Joker's attention. He's not happy about being ignored, or about having to essentially stalk out his friends home. For now though he smiles, might as well try to pretend like this is going to be a cheerful conversation.

"Oh, I was just wondering why you seemed to be ignoring me."

F u c k

If there's anything that seems to throw Joker off the most, it's someone cutting straight through all the bullshit and getting directly to the point. He jolts slightly, wings puffing up at his back and eyes going wide. Unlike any time before with his lies, this one he stumbles on just from sheer unbalance. "It's- things've been goin' on, I got a job ta do, y'know."

He can't remember a time he's seen Joker look thrown and the reaction catches him off guard. His own eyes widen in surprise, his antennae raising. He isn't sure what to make of the reaction, but he isn't willing to drop the topic either. His gaze hardens and he steps closer to Joker.

"Tell me the truth. If I pissed you off, I at least want to know how."

The one topic he's been trying to run away from.... Regaining his balance, Joker stiffens his shoulders but still keeps his gaze away. "I ain't pissed off," he manages to force out, even as every bit of his body is on edge. Confronting things isn't something he likes to do, especially when it comes to himself.

"I'm just tryin' ta get some space ta myself, alright? It ain't anythin' personal."

How was it not personal? It wasn't like he was avoiding anyone else's company. Or was he? Thinking about it, he wasn't sure who else Joker hung out with besides his performers. His family maybe. Was he avoiding them too? Joker's whole body is tense, like he's struggling against a fight or flight reaction. Psi's shoulders slump.

"Jeez... I'm not gonna beat you up or anything. You don't have to look so tense."

What was Joker so anxious about? What was he avoiding by avoiding Psi? It didn't make sense to the Psionic, and it was making him lonely too. Joker was probably one of the few people at the carnival he could actually just feel normal with. Someone who wouldn't get annoyed or thrown off by him saying or doing ridiculous shit. He needed that distraction now, after the vampires, more than ever.

"Why do you need space now? What's the reason?" he's staring at Joker intently waiting for the answer, willing for the human to meet his gaze, to tell him honestly what the problem is.

He's tense? Dammit.... Joker forces out a breath from between his teeth. He just can't help it... He doesn't want to have this conversation. To explain anything. All he wants to do is get back into his trailer, help get Feathers something to eat, and then spend some time outside for once.

God, he's tired.

But he can't get out of this without some sort of answer, can he? Squeezing his eyes shut, he tries to think of something. "Just...." He has no idea what to say, trailing off before sighing. "No one wants ta be seen when they're like that, Psi." An explanation shouldn't have to be given, he wants to think.

It actually takes him a minute to realize which 'like that' Jokers talking about. The first thing his mind lands on is 'naked,' but he knows there is absolutely no way that can possibly be what Joker's talking about. Still, if he excludes 'naked' and 'happy' from the list all he's left with is 'sad,' but that can't be it either. Who would feel weird about somebody seeing them cry? Sure, it was a little embarrassing to cry in public, but that hadn't exactly been a public place. And why avoid the Psionic because of that? It's not like he was going to tease him or something. It wasn't like avoiding Psi made the crying not happen! It would be absolutely and completely off the walls bonkers for that to be what Joker is talking about. And still, it's the only possible thing Joker could mean.

The conclusion to this thought process leaves him feeling disturbed, and he looks at Joker as though he's just grown a third head. Did he really mean...? But what else could he mean? It just...

"Are you... Joking?" But he wasn't. He looked so serious and tense. He clearly meant what he was saying and that, that made the Psionic mad.

"Are you insane?"

Edited 2017-05-04 23:40 (UTC)

Something about his tone scrapes at him, and his temper snaps. Jerking his head to glare at Psi, he bares his fangs. "Not everyone likes scraping up old wounds," he hisses, wings flaring out more. "Or bein' reminded of 'em."

How does he not get this? It drives him up the wall that Psi is so oblivious. Frustrated, he keeps going, hand fisting at his side. "Ya always do this- no one asks ya to poke yer nose inta things, but ya do it anyway."

The remark doesn't even sting Psi thinks it's so off base. The thing that he's responding to the most being Joker's body language and tone. His own wings stretch out, small though they are. Whether Joker is intentionally trying to look imposing or not with his wings stretched to their fullest, Psi doesn't know, but he certainly isn't going to respond as though he's intimidated. He steps forward, glaring at Joker and gritting his own fangs.

"Sorry for trying to help people?! Is that what you want me to say?"

He hardly ever even tries to pry with Joker. He didn't even pry that night, just letting Joker not talk about whatever it was that was so clearly bothering him. He still doesn't even know what it was that lead to the other veteran's emotional meltdown in the woods that day. But he sure as hell had seen him the next day, smiling away as if everything was just peachy fucking keen.

"You know what? You're a fake- a phony! You act like everything's normal even when you're really the most miserable person here! And now you can't get over the fact that somebody saw you crying!?"

He cups his hands around his mouth in an attempt to amplify his voice before turning away from Joker to shout into the groove.

"Hey! Guess what everyone, turns out Joker has some real fucking feelings after all!"

He turns back to Joker although he's still practically shouting.

"Shock of the fucking century I know."

Edited 2017-05-07 20:19 (UTC)

Psi might as well have hit him for how that shout makes him flinch back, expression contorting into a grimace. Any other day, out of context and with everything removed from it, he probably would have found it funny. Of course he has feelings. That's nothing worth yelling about, is it?

...But there is context. And he hates every bit of it.

A fake... Ha. Of course he is. Sometimes, it kind of amazes Joker that more people don't realize it, or don't call it out. Back in England, at least, it wasn't so strange among his family. What they did was horrific, monstrous, and yet he was always able to keep smiling for them... But in the carnival, things can get so much worse, and no one's really questioned it to his face so far. Well, maybe they, too, know better because they're doing very much the same, and he thinks of Strange in particular.

But you know what? It's a damn good system and here, with Psi yelling at him. Joker still isn't sorry for using it. All he's sorry for is that the moment he let it down is when he got caught. And he's aggravated that, even now, Psi won't let him just get over it on his own pace.

They're not kind, the words that roll through his mind, and the feelings that accompany them don't feel good, but he doesn't care. All he does is take a slow deep breath as he looks straight into those mismatched eyes. The expression he puts on is one he's worn a thousand times before, as a butler, when he had to overseer monstrous things and say nothing: distant and flat and cold.

"Then I suppose," he says, accent easing up clear and slow, "that I was miserable all those times with you, wasn't I?"

And with that, he reaches up to touch one of the charms tied to his antlers... and disappears.

He startles, stunned by the disappearance, and then forced into action because of it. He sparks red and blue in frustration and hurt. Could he blame Joker for saying something like that after what he'd just did? Probably not, but that he'd even lightened his accent, just so he could be sure Psi understood. He growls, the sound a bit like a swarm of angry cicada's before he shouts out around him

"Coward!"

It's a little awkward, just hiding and listening to a fight. But at the same time, it's infuriating. Sure, Snake left Joker of his own free will. Sure, he's not sure where they stand, if and how they'll ever reunite. But...

... That doesn't mean they're not brothers.

Snake is waiting for Psi when he trudges back into the trailer. Nearly as soon as the doors are closed, he's there, almost faster than the eye can follow, swinging an inhumanly swift and powerful punch at the Psionic's face. He barely checks himself, barely has a chance to pull the punch, so it's not quite a freight train, but it'll put a dent in whatever it hits if Psi moves in time.

He's not expecting it at all. The Psionic barely has time to register the movement before he's being clocked in the face with what feels like a hand made of metal. He recoils, falling against the door he's just closed grunting in pain. His cheek bone feels broken!

"What the fuck!?" He shouts, shoving Snake away with his psionics. "What the hell was that for!"

"'Don't hurt Joker! He's already hurting!' says Emily!" Even Snake's own voice is impassioned, for once, but he lets himself be pushed away, Even as he slams into a wall.

There are things Joker probably won't talk about, things that Snake knows now, that give new perspective on his brother's behavior, and that of his whole found family. But he's not yet angry enough to share them.

That even when he's pissed off he speaks through his snakes shows just how messed up this kid is. Psi can't even be mad about Snake punching him in the face! Well, he can be mad about it, but he won't be mad at Snake for it.

"I know he's hurting!" shouts Psi, his psionics flicker out, but he'll use them to hold Snake back again, if he has to. "That's the entire fucking problem!"

Yup, definitely mad. As even though he's not shoving Snake around with his psionics, he's sparking quite a bit.

"Why the hell do you even think I went over there to talk to him!?"

"'You hurt him more, so we assume that was your intention,' says Donne." Snake is still grouchy, but he's not losing control so easily right now. He can't afford to; even his inner demon is cautious around those psionic powers of Psi's.

"'He trusted you and you hurt him! He trusted us too, and we hurt him! And we'll never see him again if we go home!' says Emily." He's actually crying a little, red-stained tears bubbling at the corners of his eyes. He wipes at them with a sleeve - also stained with blood, and freshly, too. Clearly he's been sort-of-crying a while.

He did hurt him. The words sort of echo in his thoughts after Snake speaks them though he wishes they wouldn't. Still, it's really the pain in Snake's voice that quells his anger. He doesn't know about Snake's history with Joker, or why they won't see each other. To be honest, he's afraid to ask and find out something Joker doesn't want to share. He feels awful, and it's not just because he's been punched in the face.

"Snake.." he steps forward, his aura calming. "I'm sorry."

Snake also takes that step, and leans forward slightly, so the top of his head is almost against Psi's face. If this were Joker, he wouldn't take this moment, wouldn't invite to touch, he'd just lean against him; thinking about that makes him realize how much he's lost, and the tears pick up a bit harder.

... He's got to apologize for himself, but he can't, he just can't. "'We're sorry too,' says Emily."

Psi just hugs Snake as he comes closer, being careful not to squish any snakes that are currently on him. He doesn't really know the details of what happened between Joker and Snake, but he was sure it wasn't completely irreparable.

"If you want to go see him, you should."

He shakes his head in response. He's burnt that bridge. He really has, he's just sure of it. It's beyond repair, their relationship needs rebuilding. He's not sure if Joker ever would have told him the truth, unsure how much he was needed... And he can't stand living in a cage, even if it's gilded and all metaphorical. Ignorance is only bliss so long as you're unaware of it, after all.

... But he does hold Psi. Gently.

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CONFRONTATION

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As discussed!

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