Ginko (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dontpokethat) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
lostcarnival2017-05-08 11:55 pm
dontpokethat) wrote in lostcarnival2017-05-08 11:55 pm
but all this time i've been chasing down a lie
Who: Ginko and a whole bunch of people (Sans, Joker, Snake, Zecora, Tanyuu…)
What: In the aftermath of Foster’s shitty mushi plot, Ginko isn’t doing great.
When: From Day 90 onward
Where: Medical tent, trailer 13, and menagerie
Warnings: Possible talk of Foster’s shitty reasoning, also Ginko is a pile of depression and self-hatred in a trenchcoat.
Zecora - Medical Tent - Day 90 afternoon
Ginko was unconscious when Tanyuu first brought him in, bruised and scraped from the fight with Foster on top of his already being exhausted. After a certain point, though, he’s just… asleep, and remains that way through the night and well into the next day. The past few days - between the mushi leeching off his blood supply and the lack of sleep from trying to handle the infestations around the carnival and stressing himself out over them - have taken their toll.
Normally, he’d be pushing himself up the moment he woke up, always moving before his brain is even fully awake. But, today, he just lies there for a few seconds, staring up at the ceiling, before lifting a hand to press his palm over his face.
“...Shit.”
Tanyuu - Trailer 13
Once it’s been confirmed that he’s good to go (and he’s promised not to strain himself too much), Ginko and Tanyuu head back to their trailer. Of course, agreeing not to tire himself out more doesn’t mean Ginko isn’t going to want Tanyuu to catch him up on what happened while was out - what happened to Foster, what was being done about the repellent.
The whole time they’re talking, he keeps fidgeting, whether with his sleeves or his hair or just in the form of his tail twisting and lashing around his ankles. “So… things are being worked out, right? Just… that’s all I need to know.”
Snake - morning of Day 92 - Menagerie
By all rights, this should be the best off Ginko has been in the past several days. In a lot of ways, it is; with the mushi situation finally under control, things are more or less looking up - and, since the mushi that had been leeching off his blood are finally being removed, little by little, he should be feeling a lot better.
Should be. He is feeling better of course, but he’s still more tired than he’d normally expect, and getting himself to go back to work when the time comes proves something of a challenge. But it’s not like he’s never had this problem before, and he does get to the menagerie, albeit a little later than usual.
His ears flick forward when he sees Snake already there, and he gives a small wave as he heads over to watch him feed his snakes. “‘Morning. How are they doing?”
Joker - Menagerie
For all intents and purposes, Ginko seems to be settling back into his work as if everything is normal - though he may seem a little more singlemindedly focused on it when he’s working, and a little less focused on anything when he isn’t. Of course, he’s still having trouble bringing himself to seek out conversation outside of what’s necessary, but… that’s probably fine. Even now, part of him wonders if it might be for the best.
Even when cleaning out the enclosures, he doesn’t pause for long between stalls. Clear out the muck, wash what needs to be washed, change out bedding and food as necessary - it’s a simple, easy pattern to keep up. Like walking, putting one foot in front of the other; he doesn’t need to think for it.
Sometimes, not thinking can be a nice change of pace.
Sans - Barn
Breaks… might pose a problem. Theoretically he could just keep working through them, but the opportunity to pause for a while is more tempting than usual… even if as soon as he’s not working he starts wishing he were. He’s used to spending his breaks chatting, wandering around the carnival to visit with coworkers, but… no way. Not right now.
Which leaves one obvious solution. Going back to his trailer would take too long and probably get some questions from Tanyuu if she catches him. So, instead, he just… flops down on a pile of hay in the corner of the barn. He’s slept in worse places.
What: In the aftermath of Foster’s shitty mushi plot, Ginko isn’t doing great.
When: From Day 90 onward
Where: Medical tent, trailer 13, and menagerie
Warnings: Possible talk of Foster’s shitty reasoning, also Ginko is a pile of depression and self-hatred in a trenchcoat.
Zecora - Medical Tent - Day 90 afternoon
Ginko was unconscious when Tanyuu first brought him in, bruised and scraped from the fight with Foster on top of his already being exhausted. After a certain point, though, he’s just… asleep, and remains that way through the night and well into the next day. The past few days - between the mushi leeching off his blood supply and the lack of sleep from trying to handle the infestations around the carnival and stressing himself out over them - have taken their toll.
Normally, he’d be pushing himself up the moment he woke up, always moving before his brain is even fully awake. But, today, he just lies there for a few seconds, staring up at the ceiling, before lifting a hand to press his palm over his face.
“...Shit.”
Tanyuu - Trailer 13
Once it’s been confirmed that he’s good to go (and he’s promised not to strain himself too much), Ginko and Tanyuu head back to their trailer. Of course, agreeing not to tire himself out more doesn’t mean Ginko isn’t going to want Tanyuu to catch him up on what happened while was out - what happened to Foster, what was being done about the repellent.
The whole time they’re talking, he keeps fidgeting, whether with his sleeves or his hair or just in the form of his tail twisting and lashing around his ankles. “So… things are being worked out, right? Just… that’s all I need to know.”
Snake - morning of Day 92 - Menagerie
By all rights, this should be the best off Ginko has been in the past several days. In a lot of ways, it is; with the mushi situation finally under control, things are more or less looking up - and, since the mushi that had been leeching off his blood are finally being removed, little by little, he should be feeling a lot better.
Should be. He is feeling better of course, but he’s still more tired than he’d normally expect, and getting himself to go back to work when the time comes proves something of a challenge. But it’s not like he’s never had this problem before, and he does get to the menagerie, albeit a little later than usual.
His ears flick forward when he sees Snake already there, and he gives a small wave as he heads over to watch him feed his snakes. “‘Morning. How are they doing?”
Joker - Menagerie
For all intents and purposes, Ginko seems to be settling back into his work as if everything is normal - though he may seem a little more singlemindedly focused on it when he’s working, and a little less focused on anything when he isn’t. Of course, he’s still having trouble bringing himself to seek out conversation outside of what’s necessary, but… that’s probably fine. Even now, part of him wonders if it might be for the best.
Even when cleaning out the enclosures, he doesn’t pause for long between stalls. Clear out the muck, wash what needs to be washed, change out bedding and food as necessary - it’s a simple, easy pattern to keep up. Like walking, putting one foot in front of the other; he doesn’t need to think for it.
Sometimes, not thinking can be a nice change of pace.
Sans - Barn
Breaks… might pose a problem. Theoretically he could just keep working through them, but the opportunity to pause for a while is more tempting than usual… even if as soon as he’s not working he starts wishing he were. He’s used to spending his breaks chatting, wandering around the carnival to visit with coworkers, but… no way. Not right now.
Which leaves one obvious solution. Going back to his trailer would take too long and probably get some questions from Tanyuu if she catches him. So, instead, he just… flops down on a pile of hay in the corner of the barn. He’s slept in worse places.
no subject
He remembers what Psi said. About pale romance, and having feelings for him-- he still doesn't know what to do about that, honestly, but something like this coming up out of nowhere seems like it would be... not the best way to handle it. And like it could cause some serious problems.
"...Could I have some time to think about it? I... I'd really like to, but it might be a bad idea right now."
no subject
Do wonder why."
What could be a bad idea about spending time with a friend each day? Now she was all the more certain that he was making a huge mess of something he hadn't even talked about.
no subject
"There's... someone who would probably rather I didn't do that. Or, I guess, would... prefer I talk to them."
no subject
You can talk to more than just me." A faint tinge of worry now colored her tone, under honest confusion. Had he gotten himself into a weird controlling relationship or something? That WOULD be trouble, more trouble than she was entirely certain she could deal with on her own.
no subject
"It's kind of complicated. I mean, I'm not in trouble or anything like that." He shifted uncomfortably, his tail flicking back and forth.
"The thing is, what's going on here isn't really mine to tell, so... if you really want to know, you've got to promise not to talk to anyone else about this. Otherwise, just... trust me on this."
no subject
Know if you can trust," Zecora said, regarding him with even and slightly inscrutable patience. If he wished her to tell nopony, she would tell nopony, of course. The real question was whether he believed that.
no subject
So he took a breath, glancing away for a moment as he tried to think over how to explain this. "...How much has the Psionic told you about, uh... troll romance?"
no subject
I've not heard a word." To put it mildly. Psi probably needed just as much therapy as Ginko did, but she was pretty sure the Ringmaster liked it that way. Otherwise why wouldn't the carnival have the mental health help it so desperately needed?
no subject
"He told me that trolls have four kinds of romance. One of them is called, uh... moirallegiance, he said? It's about... showing each other your weaknesses, and working through them. ...And, a while back, he... told me he had feelings for me."
no subject
You fear jealousy?"
no subject
no subject
Your first duty is to yourself."
She looked briefly away, thinking, but -- Ginko was in such bad shape right now, she felt she had to warn him, even if it wasn't what he wanted to hear.
"I do not mean to offend
But I would be wary of a friend
Who thought in our friendship he could see
Cause for romantic jealousy."
no subject
He sighed and stared down at the cot. "...I know. I... honestly, I don't even know if he would be jealous." If Psi did ever get mad about Ginko talking to Zecora, that would be a definite mark against him. But anger isn't really what he's worried about.
"It just seems like, if I start going to someone else to talk about this stuff, right after he told me how he felt... that would be bound to make it seem like I don't trust him, or I'm uncomfortable talking to him." Which, while not totally inaccurate, isn't any more true of Psi than of anyone else, Zecora included.
"I don't want to make him feel like that. At the very least, I'd rather talk to him before deciding anything. So he knows that's not what's going on."
no subject
"You must do what you think best
In this as in the rest," she agreed, rather solemnly.
no subject
"...Can I go yet, or do I still need to stay here?"
no subject
"If you give me cause to frown
I will come hunt you down."
And don't think she didn't mean it, either. She held his gaze for a moment before she pulled her body back fully onto her chair, motioning with a hoof that he was indeed free to go.
no subject
"Thanks. I'll be careful, I promise. And, I'll... figure this out, one way or another."
no subject
You needn't do it on your own."
Zecora would pat him reassuringly on the shoulder, but she knew he didn't much care for that sort of thing. So she hoped a gentle smile would convey the message just as well.
no subject
He could guarantee that much, anyway. He smiled back gratefully, then stepped out of the medical tent.