the terrible horrible no good very bad week

[kingsroads]

Who: Strange & OPEN!
Where: mostly the carnival, with a Wismuth prompt
When: D17 and onwards
What: Strange has had a run of shitty days/decisions and is coping like a champ (he's sulking)
Warnings: mild drug & alcohol use, Strange's general asshole tendencies

sulking at the training grounds
Over the past few days, Strange learned that the closest thing he could call to an enemy was back and she had poisoned his best friend, found out his other close friend was kidnapped and enthralled, got dunked in a lake, got his emotional support gem stolen, got dunked in the ocean, made a kid cry, discovered he had a fun new phobia of sentient pineapple beasts, got gum in his hair, and received harsh truth bombs from at least two different people. And only half of this is his fault! (Maybe five-eighths. Strange'll fight it if anyone says three quarters.)

To top it all off, apparently the entire universe is in danger of ending and Creation's decided to fix that by giving people fun magical powers but apparently the universe doesn't think he's good enough! Like what the hell, Creation? As if his self-esteem wasn't already weirdly low thanks to the fact that he got beaten up by plants and the previously mentioned harsh truth bombs.

So, Strange is coping with pyromania. At least four of the practice dummies are currently on fire and have been on fire for the past half hour or so. Strange is in the process of casting a spell to set a fifth ablaze. Anybody who remotely approaches the training ground is getting an amazing death glare courtesy of Strange, as well as a grumpy "What?"

sulking part 2
Alternatively, there's an abundance of purple smoke hanging out near the top of one of the game trailers in the gamer's circle. Can smoke sulk? Undecided, but there's certainly something sulky about this smoke. It's definitely lingering around the top of the trailer and not moving in a manner that's reminiscent of sulking.

welcome to the plot
For the most part, Star Guardians need to sleep too. As does Strange But considering that Strange lives a comfortable life as the man with the world's most erratic sleep schedule, his is variable as hell and he's wide awake at around ten pm, when most people should be getting ready for bed. He's wide awake as he bangs on the trailer door of each inhabited trailer, hoping that someone's in.

He doesn't waste any time. Whenever anyone answers their door, Strange bluntly asks, "Did you get those odd powers like what Noa has?"

Fuck it, he knows about pillars, he can still be useful.

wismuth
Staying at the carnival and not getting out of bed just sounds like a really good plan right now. Except Strange is a nightrunner and when you're rooming with the deputy nightrider, you can only wallow in self-pity for so long. Scrying can only do so much so he's hitting the pavement. As he walks the streets (wearing a slightly ridiculous baseball cap), Strange keeps his senses open for any sort of magic: guardian, harbinger, fae. He's already gotten his ass whooped twice, any sort of large spikes of harbinger magic he is staying the hell away from. But it's the smaller things, the after effects that he can at least try to dispel.

And so, that's why Strange is standing next to an ATM that's currently spitting out cash, muttering something while debating if he's actually got to put his mouth on that thing or not. Thankfully, the machine sputters to a stop and the spell breaks before Strange has to actually kiss the box.

"I don't even know what this is," he complains, to anyone listening. Foggy modern AU memories can only go so far and did not extend to ATMs. But look at him go, stopping the horrible...money spitter outer machine. Greatest magician of the age, everyone.

Comments

[whattaprick]

Strange smells like he's been dragged backwards through tropical punch, overwhelmingly sweet and cloying -- and, if Lambert is any judge, probably disgustingly sticky to match. The witcher shoots the magician a look that, while it isn't exactly panicked, definitely has an edge of being hunted to it.

"It could have told me what it was shoving on me first!" Sure, sure, Creation had intimated something vague about protecting life, but it just had to do it then, didn't it? It's like the Earth Spirit all over again. Lambert raises a hand to scrub through his hair, cursing when his claws get caught on his goggles instead.

With a shower of sparkles, the motorcycle dissolves, coalescing into what looks like a miniaturized pony toy with golden hooves and an impassive expression. Although she's much smaller and less intimidating than she normally is, there's something about here that will feel like Strange has seen her before...

"Strange is right," she says, calmly, unruffled by Lambert's sputtering. "The sooner you accept this, the sooner we can get to work."

"See that?" Lambert hisses, pointing wildly. "Creation turned Pig into this."

[kingsroads]

"Oh my god, that's a talking horse." Wait. "That's Pig?!"

Strange just looks at the tiny talking horse with an expression of utter disbelief. Why is the horse talking? How does the horse know about Creation? What the hell is all this?! This situation just keeps getting more and more weird. Strange just stares, looking intently at Lambert, as if his third eye will somehow explain all this nonsense.

"If it helps, I had no idea Creation was this..." dumb? "...unique. All I knew was the bit about saving all of existence."

Not horses and outfits. Strange walks around Lambert to get a good look at the entire outfit. He really shouldn't be surprised that Lambert is showing off his butt AGAIN.

[whattaprick]

Third eye ain't seeing shit but a lot of magic. On the bright side, that does make it harder to see his costume, which given the present circumstances can only be a blessing. As Strange walks around him, Lambert's head jerks to follow, eyes narrowed, tail curled self-consciously. It's really not his best look.

Pig sighs. "I'm here to guide Lambert. I suppose Creation thought it would be easier if it was something he was already used to..."

"Then maybe it should've picked Strange instead," Lambert grouses, before he frowns. "What happened to you, anyway?"

[kingsroads]

"It should have picked me to begin with," Strange grumbles as he looks over at Lambert's back. Because come on! Of course he should be the one to get the impressive magical powers to help save the world! He's the most qualified person in the carnival to do this nonsense, getting overlooked is (in his unbiased opinion) dumb as hell.

Though there is Pig...the horse is the new target of Strange's scrutiny as he stares at Pig. This horse is magical as heck and, once again, third eye ain't seeing shit.

Strange is so distracted by examining the magic while whining and complaining that he straight up doesn't get Lambert's inference. "Hmm?" he asks. "What do you mean what happened to me?"

[whattaprick]

"That's not how it works," Pig shakes her head, though she doesn't quite sigh. It's simply stating a fact, unwavering.

"You smell like someone doused you in fruit," is what Lambert says by way of clarification, tone plain, though ... that's not too different from what happened to him too. Only the magical outfit change is what's kept him from reeking the same way, though he's got no idea if that will hold one he changes back. If he can change back, he thinks uneasily. There's too much about this that's hard to deal with; the outfit is the least of it.

[kingsroads]

If that's not how it works then obviously it should work differently. But Strange doesn't know how to grab all of creation and force it to do what he wants...or if he can even do it in the first place. Someone's hitting a tiny crisis of confidence at the moment.

Lambert's question causes Strange to scowl. "Steven happened. He made some of those plant things to attack me. That damned pineapple one had it out for me-I had to explode it to get it to stop."

And the explosion happened all over Strange. Further proof that pineapples are evil incarnate.

[whattaprick]

Lambert looks at him skeptically. "Just how big was this pineapple?" He asks. All right, so he has a pretty dim idea of what a pineapple's size is supposed to be, but he's pretty sure of one thing: one pineapple shouldn't leave you smelling like you went bathing in it. But good on Strange for inflicting violence on fruit!

"Seems like the fruit thing's a theme. We ran into him too." And he glances at Pig, grimacing. "Actually, Pig ran him over."

[kingsroads]

"Around this big?" And Strange makes a gesture of the size of the porcupineapple: larger than a normal pineapple, but small enough that Pig could beat it in a fight (well, normal Pig could. Jury's still out on weird tiny Pig). "There were other fruit animals, but the porcupine pineapple—porcupineapple? Anyway, that one was the worst."

Still, Pig ran him over? A tiny little petty part of Strange wants to congratulate the horse motorcycle for knocking Steven for a loop, but the remaining rational part of him points out the fact that good people don't express joy at the fact that a teenager got run over. Time to change the subject!

"I've no idea why your horse can turn into a motorbike, by the way."

[whattaprick]

Even pint-sized, Pig could beat a lot of things in a fight. Becoming a familiar hasn't diminished her strength, and it's only more deadly now that it's concentrated into one small, toy-like hoof.

"You think I do?" Lambert grouses, folding his arms. As yet, he hasn't even figured out how to turn this whole light show off. Mostly because he's been yelling at Pig while trying to hang on to her this whole time.

At this point, though, Pig will speak up.

"I don't know, but I know I'm here to help you. Your spark gives me a form that can."

[kingsroads]

Hmmmmmm. Strange leans in towards Pig, peering at the familiar with a frown, as if he could somehow see past all this damn Creation magic to spot the make-up of the spell. Unfortunately for Lambert, he's just getting metaphorically blindsided by the power of Creation.

"I can try and dispell it if you want," Strange says, ignoring any sort of inevitable protests that will come from Pig. He's not certain if he can or can't actually do it but might as well give it a shot. "You could at least get your horse back."

Though, with no explanation as to what this happened or how this happened in the first place. Still, this is possibly a way that Strange can help and feel useful, he's going to offer it.

[whattaprick]

Another familiar might protest or panic, but Pig just looks back at Strange steadily, unruffled by the implication. If he wants to try, he's welcome to try, but he'll find himself sorely disappointed by the results.

"Do it," Lambert grumbles, though his tone implies he doesn't have any real faith Strange will pull it off, though he will manage a smirk anyway. "Though you should really stop making a habit of kissing horses. One of them's going to kick you one day."

Pig won't, because she's a good horse. But however Strange chooses to attempt to dispel the magic that's transformed her, it won't work -- she'll remain stubbornly equine.

[kingsroads]

"The first horse turned into a beautiful woman. I don't mind keeping it up if that's an option!" This is just giving Lambert shit for the sake of giving him shit. They both know that Strange's eyes lie only on Arabella and that there's no way in hell Pig would turn into a pretty girl.

He places his hands in front of him, muttering slightly as he looks at Pig. he focuses his energies on the horse, pulls in as much magical power as he can think of, tries to find the loosest part of the spell...before he reaches in and kisses that tiny horse straight on her tiny horse forehead. Nothing happens.

Blech. The energies of Creation taste weird. Strange pulls back, odd frown on his face like he's not really sure what to think. It didn't work, it doesn't take a genius to figure it out. But he's not going to give up after just one loss.

"Let me try and dispell you instead."

[whattaprick]

"Sorry, you're not my type," Lambert answers automatically. If Strange tries planting a smooch on him, he's absolutely getting blown away with Aard, Lambert's not in the mood. By now, they've been standing long enough that a couple of civilians are passing by, looking warily at Strange, but the funny thing is-- their gazes seem to pass right through Lambert, like he isn't there.

[kingsroads]

Strange is already leaning towards Lambert, getting ready for smooches when nope, okay, not going to happen. He takes a few steps back, trying to look as innocent and 'why surely I wasn't going to kiss you' as he can muster (it doesn't really work.)

"I thought you'd at least want out of that ridiculous outfit—which, by the way, has some concealing properties. Nobody's looking at you."

Having picked up a looney tunes reputation in Venice, Strange is entirely aware of that 'what the hell is this person doing' sort of look that the eccentrics, the madmen, and then men in sparkly booty shorts get on a regular basis. Nobody's given Lambert that look. Hell, nobody's even paid attention to Lambert to begin with.

[whattaprick]

Yeah, sorry Strange. Lambert doesn't exactly trust your smooch magic interacting with magical girl nonsense.

"What?" Lambert frowns, looking around, and realizes what he's talking about. While he's happy not to be the center of anyone's attention, it's also a little disconcerting -- like if Strange didn't look at him, he'd just disappear. So of course the next thing he does is deliberately try to step in front of passing pedestrians, waving at their faces.

"Hey-- you!" They stop as they're accosted, gazed jerking up and focusing on Lambert for the first time, then frowning a little, shaking their heads, and moving to walk around him. It's eerie, and he turns to Strange, brows raised.

It's Pig who speaks up. "You can transform back if you will it," she says, simply. "It comes from your Spark."

[kingsroads]

As he watches Lambert interact with the pedestrians, Strange frowns. This entire thing is getting more and more aggravating. And the fact that Strange can't magically piece out an explanation as to why Lambert can't be seen by others is even more aggravating. Pig explanation doesn't help at all.

"And let me guess, once Lambert transforms back then people will be able to see him? How convenient," he grumbles, glaring at Pig as if it's somehow her fault all of this is happening to begin with (it isn't. But short of yelling at all of Creation itself, Strange desperately wants a target.). "Most people aren't lucky enough to switch their magic on and off!"

[whattaprick]

Sorry, Strange. Pig's as much a victim of Creation's whims as the rest of anyone, and her tiny-eyed stare back is as calm as it ever is when she looms over Strange at her original height.

"You can feel the power of Creation in this world, can't you?" she asks Strange. "It's all around us, and yet they're blind to it. This is just more of the same."

Possibly. Pig doesn't know for sure. But it does sound like a nice theory, doesn't it?

[kingsroads]

"That's right, I can. And half the people who were turned into Guardians probably couldn't feel it to begin with!"

Creation is dumb, Pig's dumb, Harbingers are dumb, this entire thing is so dumb and so stupid for not having picked him in the first place! The more Strange talks, the more intensely annoyed he's getting.

"Lambert doesn't even want this in the first place!"

At least, he's assuming Lambert doesn't want it.

[whattaprick]

"Of course I don't want it!" Lambert interjects, gesticulating wildly down at his everything. "Come on! Do you really think I'd choose this?"

"You accepted the power when it was offered to you," Pig answers, unruffled.

"That's because I was about to get hit in the face!"

"Nevertheless, you are the Guardian of Freedom now," his familiar answers, implacable and remorseless in the face of Lambert's sputtering protests. "However you came by it, you must see it through. To fight for Creation-- to preserve life."

"You were my horse," Lambert groans into his fingers, having buried his face into his hands at some point in the middle of the familiar's little speech. Why is this happening to him?

[kingsroads]

"Can't the power be swapped or transferred over or something like that? I want it. And I'd be better at it than Lambert would," Strange pleads, looking over at Pig. Just begging a tiny horse to give him magic, what the hell has his life become.

Because amazing magical powers? Of course he wants it! Strange'll even suffer though the indignity of booty shorts, lord knows he's been through worse in his life.

[whattaprick]

"I'm afraid not," Pig answers. And then, not unkindly-- "Perhaps you simply don't have the qualities Creation is looking for."

Like, say, a survival instinct.

[kingsroads]

Strange is severely tempted to punch this dumb horse in her dumb little horse head. He's clenching his fists, glaring at Pig and just generally looking like he's straight up going to get in a fight with a tiny little magical horse.

"And just what qualities do the other Guardians have that I don't?" he hisses.

[whattaprick]

Pig might look like a tiny little horse, but she isn't, so he's likely to be in for an unpleasant surprise if he tries to escalate. That being said, it seems she'll consider the question seriously, before she finally responds.

"I don't know. Maybe it's because you already have so much magic of your own. Creation is more about potential than power."

Of course, this is before they learn Rita has been turned into a Guardian too, so...

[kingsroads]

That's not a good enough explanation for Strange. As such, the yelling continues (as he pretty much ignores Lambert, sorry buddy).

"I barely held my own against Steven," Strange complains. "My power has nothing to do with it. As for potential, I've got the most potential out of anybody in the carnival."

How he came to that idea and what Strange's definition of potential is, he doesn't elaborate on. Instead, he's continuing to bitch and moan.

[whattaprick]

“Potential to cause disaster, maybe,” Lambert mutters under his breath. But not too loudly, because he doesn’t wanna deal with a bitchy Strange on top of everything else.

Pig, however, remains unmoved. “Perhaps it is not as great as you think. Being a Guardian calls for self-awareness.”