⇨ CAMPING GROUNDS

[ringleaders]

Who: Everybody!
When: Day 64
Where: The Camping Grounds
What: While the Ringmaster attempts to purge the carnival of magical tracing spells and deal with the angry fire fae in her belly, everyone else is getting sent on an emergency camping trip with some unusual local fauna.
Warnings: Camping.

CRYPTIC CAMPGROUNDS↴ You're given about three hours to prepare, after the Ringmaster tells you her plans for the coming week. There is a vast selection of camping equipment at your disposal, and the means to take along enough food for the length of the stay. The wilderness of the planet you're left on is nearly idyllic, but some people just don't like the great outdoors. ► CRYPTOZOOLOGY: As it turns out, the carnival won't be alone here. There is a varied ecosystem of cryptids to be found as well, living in relative peace and mostly reacting to the newcomers with curiousity. More details can be found on the plotting post. You are free to NPC the cryptids as much as you need to, as long as you stick to the behaviours described. ► DREAMSHARING: There is a player plot going on which will allow characters to share dreams! These are specifically more dreams than nightmares, and the mushi-adept characters will be here to help. ► CHILLAX: There isn't any plot twist for this setting, so this is mostly an opportunity to decompress from the last plot and get ready for the future. The Ringmaster will show up occasionally to help with needed medical treatments and check on things, but won't stick around for long.

Comments

[hippocarnival]

Yuya grips the rail firmly to balance himself as he leans over to look at the cover. "Fairy curses... so your thesis is to help Childermass and Mr. Strange?"

Yuya looks up with a wide grin. That's really sweet, actually. He approves. "But if Mr. Strange lets the Ringmaster break it, we only have to worry about Childermass."

[whattaprick]

Lambert’s brow furrows a little. Was that what his thesis was about? Yuya seems certain, so it must be true. He adjusts his glasses and peers at Yuya over them.

“That’s a big ‘only,’” he says. “But if we can’t figure it out, he’ll never be able to go home again. So I have to try.”

[hippocarnival]

That makes Yuya pause, his expression slipping.

"What do you mean he'll never be able to go home?" Yuya furrows his brow, thinking back. That's not specifically what the curse was about, was it...? "Is the curse stopping him?"

[whattaprick]

“The Queen could find him,” Lambert says blinking. “His father could find him. And then England would be in danger, and everything he’s ever worked for.”

Lambert clutches the book tight. The title seems to shift before their eyes again: The Queen’s Miracles.

“Stupid idiot didn’t get himself protected when he asked for protection for Steven and Strange. Maybe we just need to ask the Starlight again.”

[hippocarnival]

Oh. Yuya hadn't considered that until now. Of course, Strange had mentioned the Fae he's contracted with might pursue him, but nowhere in that did he suggest he'd never return to England. To his wife, and home.

Was it worse than he was saying? Yuya bites his lower lip, suddenly deeply worried for both of them. Wouldn't it be awful, to be forced away from your home because you become a danger to it?

"We'll have to ask her for a lot of wards," Yuya determines, trying to push up a smile despite it. But it doesn't last long, and then he shifts around on the rail to better face Lambert as he regards him with curiosity.

"... How far would you go for Childermass?" To save him, protect him. See him happy.

[whattaprick]

Dreaming, yet unaware he’s dreaming, Lambert can only be bluntly honest.

“I’d do anything to keep him safe,” Lambert says, simple and to the point. He’s thought about this a lot over the past few days, and the words come tumbling out of him in a rush.

“Kill a thousand fae. Betray anyone. Become something he hates.” There’s a fierce, sharp certainty to his words. He’s looking less like Portland’s Lambert now, as the fingers curling around the book begin to turn clawed, eyes flashing gold. It’s greedy, possessive, and entirely unashamed of itself in a way he never would be conscious, and there’s a terrible purpose to his words.

[hippocarnival]

If Yuya notices the way that Lambert starts to change, physically, he doesn't react. Instead he holds a careful gaze on Lambert, his attention completely captured by his words and the emphasis behind them. He feels them, very personally, especially what Lambert says last.

Yuya grips the rail a little tighter. "Even knowing how much you hurt him... even if he'd rather suffer so he doesn't have to see you go that far?"

Would Childermass rather carry the burden than watch Lambert tear himself apart, in any level? He knows there's a kindness to Childermass, he's seen it. Is it the same? "Would it be too hard to be the one left behind?"

[whattaprick]

“He isn’t like me,” Lambert says, like it’s an obvious answer to Yuya’s question. “I’m already a monster.”

Even as he says that, his agitation seems to calm, like saying something like that out loud was enough to settle it more firmly in his mind.

“Losing me won’t change who he is.” And there’s both a wistfulness and pride in the way he says that — not that he’s even sure what he means by that himself.

[hippocarnival]

"You're not a monster," Yuya says plainly, firmly. He knows what a monster looks like. He knows what it feels like. Lambert isn't a monster.

It steels Yuya's emotions a little. He was wavering, but now he's determined to force his way through this conversation for both of them.

"Do you think that? When you lose someone that precious--it's like a piece of you gets ripped out with them." He places a hand on his chest. "You don't think he'd lose something by losing you?"

[whattaprick]

Lambert frowns, like he’d like to argue the monster bit a bit more, but Yuya’s question catches him off guard.

“He’d survive it,” he answers, then glances away. The shadows are long on the ground. It’s sunset, now, over this sleepy hodgepodge of a town.

“I’m not that strong.”

[hippocarnival]

Yuya lowers his gaze, a sad smile reaching his face. "Neither am I."

Is that what it is? He's just not strong enough to be the one left behind? Or is it just because he's selfish, and doesn't want to be? "But I know it'd still hurt him, and... I feel awful."

His tail curls around the rail between his legs as he absently scuffs the back of his shoe against it. "I didn't think there'd be so much pain in caring about someone, until all of this."

[whattaprick]

Lambert cocks his head. He's pretty sure Yuya isn't talking about Childermass, and the chance to turn around the questions on him is a welcome one.

"Who are you talking about?"

[hippocarnival]

"Huh?" Yuya looks confused at first, because to him it seems so obvious. But that's because he's in his own head, so of course he knows.

"Oh, Gongenzaka." Yuya glances aside, ashamed. "I made an awful promise with him. I still don't know if it was right, or fair, or..." He shrugs helplessly.

[whattaprick]

Lambert watches Yuya, clawed finger tracing the spine of the book, with no small mild confusion. It feels like the thread of conversation has gotten away with it a little bit, so it seems wise to clarify before properly weighing in.

"What do you mean, an awful promise?"

[hippocarnival]

"I made him promise to leave me to die, if I said so." The words feel no less vile coming out. In life, it's enough to shut him up and trap him in his thoughts. But these are his thoughts, so he keeps going.

"Gongenzaka's always protected me. He'd do it no matter what, but I don't want him to if he'll die for it!" He looks up at Lambert, distress etching itself more strongly on his face. "I don't want to lose him. And I don't want him to get hurt anymore, but... I know I'll still hurt him, making him the one who has to stay behind."

[whattaprick]

Lambert considers the words, mulling them over.

"That's a pretty shitty promise," he agrees, coming over to stand by the railing. Almost casually, he asks: "Would you hate him if he couldn't do it?"

[hippocarnival]

Yuya blinks, surprised by the question before he shakes his head.

"No. I couldn't." Maybe frustrated, at first. Grieved, if it really meant Gongenzaka was gone. But hate him, for what, for loving Yuya that much? Yuya can't really fathom it.

"I know it hurts him to try. I'm not as weak as I used to be, but I don't think I can be strong enough to guarantee the Fae won't be stronger. We could really..."

Lose it all. Yuya lets out a breath, his shoulders slumping a little though his grip is still tight. "I don't want it to hurt so much, but I don't see any way it won't."

[whattaprick]

Now the conversation is getting far too serious by far, so Lambert is going to break it by reaching out —and rapping Yuya firmly on the head.

“Stop thinking about it so much,” he says. "Living hurts. There's no getting around that, so your mistake is thinking you can avoid it.”

[hippocarnival]

Yuya flinches when Lambert knocks his head, although it'a successful in shaking him from getting buried in miserable thoughts.

".... I know that." He offers a faint, crooked smile without a lot of force behind it. "I just... didn't think I'd be the one hurting him. Was it wrong?"

[whattaprick]

“Better you than someone else, right?” At least, in Lambert’s opinion. “Would you take it back if you could? Making him promise that?”

[hippocarnival]

Yuya quiets, not entirely sure of his response at first. Nothing's actually stopping him from taking it back now. From apologizing and giving Gongenzaka the peace of mind to give the dedication he would. So why hasn't he?

"No." He says finally, quietly, looking down. He's certain, but it doesn't alleviate the guilt at his selfish stance. "I'd become something he hates to keep him safe."

Yuya would absolutely go that far. He lets that settle in him for a moment, before he glances back up at Lambert. "But... not unless I really had to. I'd rather be something that makes him smile."

[whattaprick]

“Then do everything you can not to put him in a place where he has to fulfil that promise,” Lambert says simply, like that’s the obvious solution.

“Don’t go looking for ways to let yourself die.”

[hippocarnival]

"I'm not." He grumbles, just a little offfended. He's definitely not trying to be careless. He'd die for Gongenzaka, but that would still tear them apart and what Yuya really wants is to stay together.

There's not really any other solution to it that Yuya would accept, though, so his grip loosens and he lets out a sigh.

[whattaprick]

Lambert could offer some other empty platitude to that, but he finds he doesn't have it much in him to try. Instead, for lack of anything to do with his hands, he tucks the book under one arm and starts to light up a cigarette. Even in dreams, the familiar gesture is calming, and it isn't long before he's lit up and leaning against the railing again, expression distant.

It's a nice enough view, even if it's not exactly how he remembers it. But it's still similar enough to remind himself of something...

"This is where we met," he volunteers, without preamble. In the way of dreams, the landscape subtly alters, coming closer to the look of the riverside path in one of Portland's parks. "In another life, anyway."

[hippocarnival]

Yuya glances up and around the scenery as it shifts, smiling just a little at the familiarity. Most of his memories of that life are gone, and yet somehow he still feels something close to it.

"How much do you remember about living there? Besides the month that everything got weird." Okay, the whole thing was weird, but Yuya hopes his intention is clear. Everyone remembers when they were starting to recover their memories.