wild_magic: (14)
Susan ([personal profile] wild_magic) wrote in [community profile] lostcarnival2017-03-27 08:40 pm
Entry tags:

dumb sad boys

Who: Lauren and Susan
What: dumb brothers being sad - continued from here OKAY NOW IT'S ACTUALLY A CATCH-ALL LAUREN+SUSAN POST FOR PRE-ALOLA JUNK
When: Day 68 at night a variety, starting with night of day 68
Where: their trailer

Although he eventually came out of the bathroom that first night, Susan still didn't talk to Lauren. Instead he avoided his brother as best he could, falling asleep curled up with Fluff (and Stanley, if she let him) on the bed.

The next day he went out, even though Lauren had told him not to; he didn't know a lot about vampires, and even though he felt bad doing it (especially when he was still worried about Lauren), he was pretty sure they couldn't go out in the sun, so it was an easy way to not have to talk to him. He didn't want another argument, not any more - not that he knew what else to do, not when he was feeling pretty bad now, but that didn't matter. He just didn't want Lauren to yell at him and tell him he's wrong.

By that night, though, he still wasn't feeling any better - and even though he still didn't want to really talk to his brother, he still missed him and wanted to be with him.

Once it was late, and he was sure Lauren would be asleep, Susan quietly left the sofa where he'd been originally planning on sleeping, instead slipping into the room with his brother. From there he quietly made his way to the bed, climbing under the covers while being as careful as he could to not wake him.

Re: nighttime on day 75

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-04-01 01:31 am (UTC)(link)
He doesn't say anything. He's not even looking in Susan's direction.

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-04-01 01:35 am (UTC)(link)
He doesn't know how to answer that. Part of him doesn't even want to answer, just to be spiteful. The other part of him is too sick of all this to be mean again. He knows he'll be ashamed of himself when all is said and done, but for know the frustration he'd felt was still too recent for him to admit it.

"... Probably not."

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-04-01 01:38 am (UTC)(link)
Lauren rests his head on his knees. He still isn't looking at Susan, but after a moment he nods his assent.

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-04-01 01:48 am (UTC)(link)
There's a creeping sense of guilt in his stomach. It's been there for a while now, but it's quickly growing as they begin to speak. Susan didn't even know why he was mad. He thought Susan was being smart on purpose, but... He sighs, hiding his face. He wishes he knew how to explain it. He wishes he could properly express what he's feeling, even if it was just this once. He almost says nothing, but he can't leave it at that.

"You don't... Understand."

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-04-01 01:51 am (UTC)(link)
He's mad again, but mostly at himself for being such a failure. This time he stays quiet.

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-04-01 02:00 am (UTC)(link)
His whole face turns red at the very thought, and he's glad Susan can't see it. That someone else could hear about the awful things he said. He'd done the same thing too. What would people think of them? He hates that at a time like this, that's what he's worried about, but he is. He's scared of others opinions, and scared of what might happen to Susan. He's always been scared, even back then. He hates it. Why is he such a miserable coward?

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-04-01 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
His eyes feel wet, and he sniffs, holding back tears.

"Sorry..."

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-04-01 02:10 am (UTC)(link)
He shakes his head no, though his face is still hidden. He lets out a shaky breath.

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-04-01 02:25 am (UTC)(link)
He sniffs again, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. He doesn't know why, but he can't stop crying. He'd be more embarrassed if he wasn't so tired. It's as though all his feelings have been trapped in a funnel, and only the heaviest most draining can force their way through. He wanted to be honest before, but he hadn't been. Instead of saying he was hurt, he only got mad.

"I don't know... What to say." His voice is shaky, it's clear he's crying, though it isn't like he was hiding it before.

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-04-01 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
"I'm s-scared..." He stutters out, feeling like a fool and a child but unable to quite make himself care. He really feels lost, like the ground could fall out from under him at any moment. He presses his eyes closed, taking a breath to regain his composure. It's useless.

"What if you get hurt again? What if the Ringmaster does something worse? What if you attack someone stronger than you? What if you attack someone who can't even defend themselves?!" He says all of it in a rush, like he can't get them out fast enough.

"I'm no good on my own. I can't do anything!" He's not quite a shout, but it isn't his normal speaking voice either. "There's no point... Without you."

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-04-01 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
He shakes his head again. Again, he'd failed to explain

"You thinking like that is the scariest part of all."

[personal profile] mylastchance 2017-04-01 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
"They will happen if I don't watch out for them! Things don't work out just by luck. You have to think and plan."

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