no bourbon, no scotch, no beer

[kingsroads]

Who: the idiot brigade aka Lambert & Strange
Where: Strange's trailer
When: backdated to late on Day 77
What: errybody in the trailer got tipsy
Warnings: alcohol use

( continued from here )

[ Taking the White Gull, Strange carefully puts two small drops of the alcohol into his mug of wine. His hands are steady, like he's used to doling out entirely small doses of liquids. Really, he doesn't believe this is as potent as Lambert says it is. After all, the other man can drink it and he...well, he's Lambert so who knows what sort of witcher nonsense makes you resistant to weird alcohols. Still, he can always add more later if need be.

As he finishes adding in the White Gull, Strange caps the flask and sets it on a nearby, hella cluttered table. Moments later, he raises his mug as well. ]

To your new appointment.

[ Might as well make an ATTEMPT at a toast. Strange downs a healthy serving of his wine...then just starts coughing a bit because wow, even with just two drops that stuff is surprisingly potent. ]

Good Lord.

Comments

[kingsroads]

[ Strange just listens like a dutiful pupil, watching Lambert as he describes the worlds overlapping. How interesting. Something like that could be possible back in his world, a unification of faerie and England but, at least at this canonpoint, it's all hypothetical. To be from a world where it actually happened... ]

It's a pity there's no one alive who's witnessed it, [ Strange can't help but muse. ] It must have been astounding.

[whattaprick]

I think a lot of the witnesses died during all that. Don't think they'd see it that way.

[ Always a regular ray of sunshine. Still, he smirks, picking up his mug again and taking another drink. ]

Still, you could say it worked out in the end. World's still around, all these years later.

[kingsroads]

[ Strange just shrugs because yeah, it would suck to die but that doesn't really change his point. ]

It's a pity none of your books are here. While I greatly appreciate your unique way of explaining things, I'd love to see just what other scholars from your world thought.

[ there's just a hint of sarcasm in that 'unique way' part ]

[whattaprick]

Who knows? Maybe the Carnival will swing by my world one day and you can buy as many books as you can carry.

[ He taps a claw at his chin. ]

So... two at most?

[kingsroads]

I can carry at least four of them, thank you very much. Besides, I'll just rope you into helping me carry them if they get too heavy!

[ there is no use trying to deny the fact that Strange isn't the most physically strong of people. Homeboy can't lift. Still, that's why he's got friends like Lambert and Childermass who can lift and Strange can at least attempt to bother into lifting things. ]

[whattaprick]

You should know witchers don't work for free. What's in it for me?

[ Although honestly, the idea of Strange trying to futz around with magic from his world is ghastly. ]

[kingsroads]

I'll let you read the books once I've finished--and don't act like you wouldn't want to read them, you're the one who brought it up in the first place.

[ he'll just accidentally set things on fire, nbd. ]

[whattaprick]

[ Groooan. ]

Like you'll pick anything I want to read. Anyway, they weren't my books. Kaer Morhen had a library -- mandatory reading for all witchers in training. Knowing that the difference between a specter and a wraith could mean life or death is an effective incentive.

[kingsroads]

I assume Kaer Morhen is where witchers get trained? Is there a witcher school or something like that?

[ better stop him now Lambert because given the opportunity, Strange will ask so many questions. ]

[whattaprick]

Schools, actually. Kaer Morhen's where witchers from the School of the Wolf get trained.

[ This should explain the wolf heads on his swords (well, just the singular sword now) and the medallion, which he taps with a claw. Also yeah, nosiness is a given because it's Strange, but he also has booze so he's a little more amenable to questions. ]

[kingsroads]

And here I thought the shape was simply a personal choice, [ said with a gesture to the wolf medallion. Because yeah! He's noticed the wolf motif all over Lambert's stuff. It's a bit hard not to.

He takes another sip of the wine/white gull combination as the nosiness continues. The fact that there's multiple schools is interesting--it's something that makes sense, considering how many witchers Lambert's world probably needs in the first place. ]

How many schools are there in the first place?

[whattaprick]

Besides the Wolf? The ones I've heard of are the Cat, Griffin, Viper, and Bear.

[ He shrugs, lightly. ]

There were probably more, but they might have died out a long time ago. Not even stories left, now.

[kingsroads]

[ Yeah Strange just has ten billion questions springing off of that. What did the other schools do? How did they die out? What makes the Bear school different from the Wolf school? Why cats, they didn't really do much?

Thankfully, he's got enough common sense to realize that if he bothers Lambert with all these questions, he's definitely not getting any answers. And he's got questions on top of questions. So, he takes another drink to mull things over and settles on, ]

What are the other witchers like? I've talked your ear off about the other magician in my world, but I don't know if you've ever mentioned your schoolmates.

[whattaprick]

Boring. [ Lambert immediately says, with a roll of his eyes, but despite the irritation and clear mockery ... there's an exasperated fondness there, too. ]

Right now there are only four witchers from my school left, including me. I'm the youngest, so they're always on my back about everything -- about as fun as you can imagine. Eskel's better at magic, and after everything they put in him Geralt's even more of a beast than most witchers. Vesemir... [ At that some of his good mood abates, and his scowl seems genuinely scornful. ]

He's the one who trained all of us, so he definitely knows his shit. Sanctimonious as hell, though.

[kingsroads]

Vesemir sounds like a proper git, [ Strange can't help but remark, with a sigh and a roll of his eyes. It's the cardinal rule of friendship, if your buddy thinks somebody's an asshole, you've got to at least chime in with 'wow he sounds like an asshole.'

Still though, four witchers...you'd think there would be more, wouldn't there? ]

Are there always so few of you?

[ says the person whose world has a handful of magicians ]

[whattaprick]

I'll drink to that. [ You're a good bro, Strange. Lambert swirls the shitty cocktail in his mug before he tilts it up to drain the cup before he continues. ]

That's at least twice as many witchers as you've got magicians. [ Lambert has to point out the obvious potshot with a smirk. Well, all right, he doesn't have to do anything, but you know, just reminding Strange of that. It's better than dwelling on the actual answer to his question, though he does get to it after a moment's pause. ]

As you can guess, the job's dangerous. Nothing nearly as dangerous as people who think you have something they want, though. Hundred or so years back, a mob attacked the castle, destroyed or stole the formulas and spells for making new witchers and massacred all the witchers and the boys that were in training then. Only ones that survived were the ones who were out hunting for the season.

[ He holds out his cup for more wine when he finishes, brows raised. Top him up, bro. ]

[kingsroads]

[ Shit has suddenly gotten real. Strange's expression goes from curious, to wary, to oh god no as Lambert mentions the mob slaughtering witchers and, more worryingly, slaughtering children. No matter people's opinions on witchers, you don't punish children.

As Lambert holds out his cup, Strange tops it off with the wine...and then just straight up refills his cup as well. Let's get drunk. ]

What are the spells to make new witchers in the first place?

[ It's obvious from Strange's tone and lack of poker face that he's asking for a Reason. look, he's just saying, if the carnival ever stops by Lambert's world for some reason they do have a magician. ]

[whattaprick]

[ Would it make Strange feel any better or worse to know that at least eight out of ten of those boys wouldn't have made it through what the witchers' trials anyway? Ah, Lambert can drop that shit bomb another time. He drinks off enough of the wine to be able to fill the rest with White Gull again.

Even well on his way to tipsy, though, Strange's 'casual' question isn't going to fool him, and he laughs, shaking his head. ]

Bad ones, Strange. You don't think I was born like this, do you? [ He taps a talon maybe uncomfortably close to one of his bright, cat-like eyes, the mutation one he had long before the carnival. ]

But honestly, I couldn't tell you the details if I wanted to. That wasn't considered something we needed to know.

[kingsroads]

Oh, I'm certain the eyes, the magic, and the resistance to alcohol are all part of those spells--speaking of which, pass the White Gull over here again, will you?

[ He's feeling pretty good still so let's just add a little bit more to the cup. Moderation is for suckers. ]

But a handful of people to take care of all the monsters in your world? I'm sure even you would like a helping hand every once in a while.

[ Fun fact, Strange has zero idea of what witcher school consists of and that much is horribly apparent. His tone is just light and idle as he talks. ]

[whattaprick]

If you puke in here, you're cleaning it up.

[ Actually, most likely Lambert's going to clean it up, if only because the idea of what civilizations and sentient beings might form out of vomit in the time it takes Strange to get rid of the mess is horrible to contemplate. With that caveat delivered, though, he passes the flask over. ]

It's not like witchers are the only thing that can kill monsters. We just don't need an army to do it. [ He shrugs. ] Vesemir says there's less monsters than there used to be, anyway. Guess he'd know, he's ancient.

[kingsroads]

I'm not an idiot. When I feel queasy, I'll go outside.

[ He'll vomit in the bushes before stumbling back inside and sleeping until noon. c: There are some habits that Strange is finding keep on reasserting themselves now that he's temporarily a bachelor and a completely erratic sleep schedule is one of them.

Strange pours more of the liquid in there, about the size of half a teaspoon instead of the few precise drops he did earlier. This has the effect of making the drink taste even worse but he's powering through it because like hell he's going to be sober when Lambert's drunk. ]

You'd think with less witchers, there would be more monsters. I wonder what's different.

[whattaprick]

[ They can pass out on the bed together in a miserable bachelor pile and really give Lars something to screech about whenever he stumbles back in. Lambert, however, probably won't be nursing the hangover Strange will. He takes the flask back, shrugging at Strange's musing. ]

Bigger cities, better armies, more politics. Take your pick. Monsters are like any other animal, they like places where they can hide better and where they can hunt better. Doesn't take a lot of brainpower to figure out peasants are easier to eat than a knight in plate armor.

[kingsroads]

[ Yeesh. Strange can't help but frown a little at that, even though logically he knows that Lambert's making sense. ]

I could barely manage an estate to begin with, I certainly don't know how I'd be able to manage an estate while worrying about things that could eat people. Those from your world are hardier than I imagine most people here would be.

[ After all, while some people at the carnival came from super capable worlds where they had to deal with nonsense on a regular basis, an equal number (if not more) of them really didn't. ]

[whattaprick]

Compared to here? Maybe. [ Lambert shrugs. He takes this next cup a little more slowly than the last, if only to give Strange a chance to catch up. ]

Does it really count if you've never known anything else?

[kingsroads]

[ Now it's Strange's turn to shrug. ]

I don't know. Since I became a magician, I always hoped I'd see at least one different realm, but even in London I knew I was the exception. Most people probably wouldn't think about the possibility of seeing anything else to begin with.

[ He takes a bit of a larger drink than before and can't help but wince a little. Wow, that Gull has a kick. ]