lostcarnival | ⇨ CAMPING GROUNDS

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⇨ CAMPING GROUNDS

Who: Everybody!
When: Day 64
Where: The Camping Grounds
What: While the Ringmaster attempts to purge the carnival of magical tracing spells and deal with the angry fire fae in her belly, everyone else is getting sent on an emergency camping trip with some unusual local fauna.
Warnings: Camping.

CRYPTIC CAMPGROUNDS↴

You're given about three hours to prepare, after the Ringmaster tells you her plans for the coming week. There is a vast selection of camping equipment at your disposal, and the means to take along enough food for the length of the stay. The wilderness of the planet you're left on is nearly idyllic, but some people just don't like the great outdoors.

► CRYPTOZOOLOGY: As it turns out, the carnival won't be alone here. There is a varied ecosystem of cryptids to be found as well, living in relative peace and mostly reacting to the newcomers with curiousity. More details can be found on the plotting post. You are free to NPC the cryptids as much as you need to, as long as you stick to the behaviours described.

► DREAMSHARING: There is a player plot going on which will allow characters to share dreams! These are specifically more dreams than nightmares, and the mushi-adept characters will be here to help.

► CHILLAX: There isn't any plot twist for this setting, so this is mostly an opportunity to decompress from the last plot and get ready for the future. The Ringmaster will show up occasionally to help with needed medical treatments and check on things, but won't stick around for long.

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There's a brief, confused look on Strange's face before he puts the dots together. "So you're the one who Steven was able to talk with."

Good. Yuya's a good kid and better Steven runs into his dreams than someone like Lambert or Zangetsu. That doesn't change the fact that he'd really rather not talk about this! There's an awkward pause before Strange admits, "It was. Back after Portland, I told Lambert that if I was enthralled to that extent ever again, he should kill me. That's part of why I took Ignatius's offer in the first place: I knew that if he enthralled me, I'd have someone to put me down before I hurt people."

For all the good it did him. He still hurt Lambert. And there wasn't any use for him to play the martyr when his torture turned out to be only slightly horrible, not amazingly horrible like it was in Portland. It's easier for Strange to rationalize away thoughts than scars.

That's a lot longer than Yuya expected, but it makes sense. Strange was always troubled by what happened in Portland, but going into Ignatius' service expecting to be killed...

"That's kind of an awful thing to make someone promise, isn't it?" Yuya frowns, bothered, but there's no actual judgement in his tone. Instead, his shoulders hunch like he's a bit ashamed. "You're friends, right?"

"We are," Strange explains. "He's probably my closest friend at the carnival. That's why I asked him in the first place."

He thought Lambert would understand. And he thought that Lambert, the man who prides himself on murdering things, who swears up and down that he's a killer, would actually be the one to do it. It never occurred to Strange that Lambert might fail or Lambert might not want to kill him.

"I trust him, even with the hard things."

Yuya nods slowly, his marshmallow dipping slowly towards the fire as he thinks.

"But even if it's because you trust him... it'd hurt him to do it, wouldn't it? Even if there's no other choice, if you have to--"

He jerks his marshmallow back as it starts to set aflame, shaking it to put out the flame before it burns worse.

"It's not that easy to hurt people you care about." Or watch them be hurt.

"It would," Strange admits. "And that might be why he couldn't do it in the end."

Why Lambert threw all sorts of different strategies at Strange and didn't just slit his throat and run. But the fact remains that Strange just selfishly hopes Lambert would have killed him, even if it was so hard, just so he wouldn't have to deal with the memory of trying to kill his best friend.

Strange's marshmallow is entirely on fire. But he doesn't seem to care. Instead, he's just staring off into space slightly.

He couldn't do it. Yuya's not sure if he would have been able to without help, in the end. Not without getting lucky, but it makes him no less sick every time he remembers firing that arrow.

He bites off half the marshmallow, staring dully at the fire in equal silence. He gets it, really. He gets both sides of it.

"... I made Gongenzaka promise to leave me to die if I said so." He says it a little hurriedly, like he won't get it out if he didn't. A little weight lifts from his chest, and he's finaly able to look at Strange again.

"It's awful, right? Making them hurt more, so we hurt less."

Because apparently actually dying is hurting less, sure.

Part of Strange just wants to sulk and dig his heels in even further. So what if it's awful! He never said he was a good person! He's not nice the way that Yuya or the others are, he's got a whole alternate self to prove that! But Strange knows that's petty and childish and he's supposed to be better than that.

"I'm not so sure," Strange explains, as he still stares off into space. "What would be worse? Acknowledging that you cannot do anything or the knowledge that you tried to save them and failed?"

Because that's how it's going to be, if the fae are involved again. In all likelihood, they're going to fail.

Yuya absently pokes at the marshmallow, shrugging a shoulder. "I don't know. Even if it feels hopeless, I can't... I have to try."

Even when he's told to stand down, he's not sure he could hold himself to it. His patience would probably run out at some point. And he knows Gongenzaka is the same way. That's what makes it feel especially terrible to have done.

He worries over his lip. "Either way the person you care about is hurt, or... or gone."

Strange's marshmallow is a solid 50% charcoal at the moment: he's completely forgotten about the fact that they were roasting marshmallows in the first place.

"The only thing you have to do is keep yourself safe. We both have people we need to see back in our worlds. We can't accomplish that if we're dead or maimed."

Or contracted by multiple fae, the voice in the back of Strange's head points out. This only makes him continue sulking, as he draws into himself a bit more.

"But Gongenzaka is here." His face scrunches up in frustration. At least Yuzu's returned home, and he agrees with the sentiment. He doesn't really want to get hurt, but as long as he's here it seems more and more impossible.

And that's exactly the problem. "He already died twice, he lost his arm, I can't let him get hurt again!"

He grips his stick tighter, getting close to snapping it. "Things aren't getting any safer, and I can't... I--" He stops, swallowing down any further words.

Things aren't getting any safer. And they won't get any safer when the carnival inevitably goes after the Mirror. And they certainly won't be any safer now that they're holding a general of the Summer Court prisoner somewhere.

"If you don't want Gongenzaka to get hurt, then you'll have to protect him yourself." Strange doesn't know Gon all that well, but if he's already died twice and lost an arm, it sounds like he's too reckless for his own good. They can't throw magic at the fae to stop that problem. But perhaps they can throw magic at Gongenzaka to keep him safe—or, at least, get him the hell away from where the problem is.

"How large can you make your shield? And do you know any teleportation magic? It can't be object based, it would need to be you moving Gongenzaka yourself."

The problem with things like 'a cufflink that teleports you to someone's trailer' is that people have to make a choice to use it. In an ideal world, Gon's not getting a choice.

"I know." His shoulders sink a little and his grip loosens, before he finally rips the rest of the marshmallow in his mouth, thinking as he chews.

"I don't know any magic like that." They talked about it before, at the Manor. "But he's the deputy now, so he has more responsibility to keep the carnival safe. That's what he does--he protects people."

Protects Yuya, and Yuya knows he can't just tell Gongenzaka to neglect his ideals for Yuya's own selfish desires. People need him.

He looks up at Strange and attempts to force a weak smile. It doesn't hold. "I know I have to be strong enough to protect Gongenzaka. Like he does for me!"

His gaze drifts down and he puts a hand over his chest. He knows his feelings, but they're still so hard to navigate into words why it's painful. What he's really afraid of, why what he's done he's sure has really broken Gongenzaka's heart.

"... I'd pay any price for that, but I don't want him to do the same for me."

Edited 2018-06-14 17:37 (UTC)

Strange mulls things over for a moment. He likes solving problems. If he can solve this problem by making Yuya's shield bigger or convincing Yuya and Gon to make this arrangement magically binding via blood contract, then Strange would do that. But this problem is damn annoying and damn unsolveable.

"If you want to be strong, then let's make you stronger. Gongenzaka probably has too much to worry about right now thanks to Lambert's terrible decisions," which Strange is still bitter about. "You should be able to get a head start on him."

This is an awful strategy but look, it's at least part of a strategy.

It's objectively a problem, but not one Yuya's sure he's really looking for a solution to. They just mean that much to each other, and when the extent of it is put to the test Yuya's forced to face the reality of just how far they'll go. It's love, and it's also terrifying.

He never wants to actually have to face those words, but he's sure he won't get the choice. He purses his lips, then absently fishes for another marshmallow to impale onto his stick. Of course he wants to be strong. Stronger. Strong enough maybe he can protect himself and Gongenzaka. But the Fae are greater than he ever expected, and if he had to make the choice...

"Yeah," He finally says, after a long moment of silence staring at the fire, although it comes out weakly. "I will."

That reminds him, though, of the other thing he wanted to say, about the other person that means the world to him. "And... thanks for not letting Ignatius take Yuzu. Even if it hurt you."

Edited 2018-06-15 00:14 (UTC)

Well this just makes Strange feel intensely guilty. Because had he known then what he knew now? He straight up would have let Ignatius take someone else instead. The torture sucked but, at least in Strange's mind, it was survivable. And a little bit of guilt and shame over the fact that he's a coward would be better than yet another contract from yet another fae on his head.

Still, he is going to lie through his fuckin teeth and not tell Yuya that in the slightest.

"You're welcome," Strange responds, with a little nod. "I'm a nightrunner, after all. It's our job to protect the carnival."

"I know, but--" Yuya shrugs a shoulder, a very faint smile finally ghosting back onto his face. "That means a lot to me. Saving Yuzu was part of my contract, and if Ignatius got her..."

When she had offered herself, well. Honestly Yuya probably would have done something exceptionally stupid to get her back, but he's not going to say that. Instead he glances up to Strange with a little more assurance in his face. "Gongenzaka and I talked to her, and she agreed to go home and finish her contract when the carnival isn't so dangerous. So she's gone now, but she's safer."

Strange just smiles, trying to push down the fact that pretty much every word Yuya says makes him feel worse and worse.

"I doubt she'll be happy that you're still here when the carnival is dangerous," Strange points out, with a wry little smile on his face. "Still, as you said, someone's got to protect Gongenzaka."

And Yuya's too good and too kind of a person to go back and wait it all out: Strange doubts he'll do that while people are still in danger.

If Yuya left, he could probably convince Gongenzaka to go with him. His second contract was only to stay with Yuya, after all. Still, Yuya's made other friends he also wants to watch over, and then there's Reira...

It's tempting, but he has to find his resolve to stay. "She understood, I think." Although she's probably expecting Gon to look after Yuya instead.

"I just hope things won't be like this for another year." He's not sure if they'd survive it.

Briefly, he deliberates putting his marshmallow over the fire before instead holding it over Strange's fire hair with a bit of a cheeky grin.

As Yuya puts the marshmallow over Strange's head, Strange remember that wait, he's got one also...except his marshmallow is now charcoal. Well damn.

"Hold it over my left hand where the scar is," Strange instructs, as he grabs a handful of marshmallows from the bag and shoves them in his mouth. Indeed, there's what looks like a nasty looking burn scar on the back of his left hand. Strange concentrates for a moment, activates his third eye, and then the scars on his hand, his forehead, and his right forearm light up with magical flame.

There we go. A bit of an easier way to roast a marshmallow that doesn't involve getting hair on it.

Yuya sees the scar before Strange activates his third eye, and so he forgets to even move his marshmallow at first. He doesn't exactly remember where all of Strange's scars are, but that one is new, isn't it?

He furrows his brow, pointing at the damaged hand with his marshmallow. "Did Ignatius do that? Steven said he was making you fight people."

"What, these?" And Strange vaguely gestures towards the various bits of him that are on fire with the hand that's not on fire. "No, these only happened when Ignatius reformed me." Which really is a sentence that Strange shouldn't be saying as nonchalantly as he is.

He pauses for a moment, debating what to say next. It's only a second or two before Strange settles on, "He didn't hurt me. Not like Nightshade did."

Yuya looks up to give Strange a skeptical look. "But he still brainwashed you, unless you're going to tell me you chose to fight them with Ignatius."

Yuya knows he wouldn't have. He knows how afraid Strange was of hurting someone because of that. Rita didn't tell him the extent of the injuries, but he doesn't believe the truth will make it better.

Not being like Nightshade doesn't mean it didn't hurt at all.

"Nightshade brainwashed me and tortured me," Strange points out the obvious, as he rubs the inside of his wrist, where the mirrored scratches caused by her thorns are.

"Ignatius didn't enthrall me until it was closer to the end of my stay with him—I was able to talk with Steven, remember? He wasn't even planning to make me fight the others to begin with: he only ordered me to do so when Lambert used the Athenaeum's magic to summon me directly into the fray."

If it sounds like Strange is defending Ignatius, that's because he is. There's a hint of defensiveness in Strange's tone as he explains things and he matches Yuya's skeptical look with a small frown of his own.

Yuya would probably have taken Strange's defense worse if he hadn't spoken to Rita first. But even she admitted to seeing something human in him. He knows there are Fae who can understand them, like the Ringmaster. The Summer Maiden.

Yuya's expression remains pinched as his gaze drifts, like he's searching for something in Strange's response. "Do you remember in the Summerlands, when I asked about the Fae understanding us? You didn't really believe it then. Is Ignatius different?"

It's not an accusation. Yuya's curious. He wants to know if Strange saw the same thing in one of the Summer Court--even one that hurt them.

There's not even a moment of hesitation before Strange answers, "He is."

It was just little things throughout their conversation that made Strange think so. The way Ignatius said he respected him. The way he followed the Courts but seemed so aggravated by them at the same time. The fact that he at least warned Strange before slipping his fingers into Strange's head and extracting information. There were so many little tells that seemed familiar, that reminded Strange of his friends in the army. He could easily picture himself with Ignatius in the peninsula, both of them complaining about the Portugese roads or plotting ways to obtain cannons, Strange taking his orders as he uses his magic to reshape entire forests.

Is this a dangerous train of thought about someone who did enthrall him? Possibly! Does Strange care? Not in the slightest.

"And he deserves better than whatever the hell Lambert and the rest forced him through."

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