Lost Carnival Mods (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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lostcarnival2018-11-27 10:05 am
ringleaders) wrote in lostcarnival2018-11-27 10:05 am
Entry tags:
⇨ THE SUMMERLANDS
Who: Everyone!
When: Day 119 - Day 126
Where: The Summerlands
What: Ignatius and Gild portal everyone to the Summerlands, with hopes of appealing to the Summer Maiden for help. Meanwhile, the carnival gets the chance to relax in luxury as only tentatively welcome guests. Here is the location write up from the last time the carnival visited. Since then, of course, some things have changed.
Warnings: Nothing in particular.
When: Day 119 - Day 126
Where: The Summerlands
What: Ignatius and Gild portal everyone to the Summerlands, with hopes of appealing to the Summer Maiden for help. Meanwhile, the carnival gets the chance to relax in luxury as only tentatively welcome guests. Here is the location write up from the last time the carnival visited. Since then, of course, some things have changed.
Warnings: Nothing in particular.
THE SUN RISES↴ After taking the time to rest, Ignatius and Gild will be able to pool together their energy to portal the carnival (and the airship) to the Summerlands. Those still in Polaris will be left to their own devices for the moment as Gild intends to ask for the Summerlands aid in relocating them, hopefully as soon as possible. With the effort the carnival put into sorting things out in there, however, they should be fine on their own for a little while, at least. They will arrive in the flowery fields at the base of the mountains, and soon the Summer Fae will notice their presence. Since the last time they visited, however, the atmosphere has changed. ► YOUR ARRIVAL: As the Summer Fae discover the group's arrival, it will quickly become apparent that there is a tension present that wasn't there any of the other times the carnival has visited. The Summer Maiden comes to greet the group personally, with an entourage of armed Summer Fae. They are not at all aggressive unless provoked, but there is clearly a wariness that is new. They seem uncertain about Ignatius being here, and while Gild will be able to do a lot of the talking and smooth things over, the Summer Maiden will deflect having a serious conversation about affairs until the carnival has taken time to 'rest.' It's more likely that the Maiden needs a moment to think over this new information before dealing with it. ► SUMMER CITY: After the Summer Fae become aware of everyone's presence, and the initial uncertainties are accommodated, they will invite you into their city. There are stairs that lead up the sides of the mountains, but thankfully there are also magical means of getting up there as well. The Summer Fae will be willing to help workers with the injured as needed, offering herbal remedies and healing magic to those that want it. You'll also be invited to join them for dinner, but it feels like more of a formality, and no one is obligated to take them up on it. ► SUMMER PEOPLE: The fae here will do their best to entertain these new visitors - but it doesn't seem that much happens here besides day after day of peaceful meditation and relaxation. It is not uncommon to see Summer Fae spent days doing exactly the same thing, whether that be enjoying the weather, listening to music, or dancing - the day and night periods may be similar to earth, but when you don't need rest it can all blur together just the same. Some of the fae work on feats of agriculture or craftsmanship, and while there is no particularly need to work in this place, they take pride in the fact that they do. ► FAMILIAR FACES: One very different thing about the Summerlands this go around is that there appears to be a small settlement built at the base of the mountains, filled entirely with the former residents of the Manor. Alyss and Reyna will explain that they set up a place to live down there with the Summer Fae's help, and that the fae seems to be trying to remain hands off except when they are needed. The Manor folk overall seem to be doing well, though there is some tension regarding their place in the Summerlands - they are clearly seen as refugees, and while the Summer Fae do their best to help them, the arrival of the carnival and the request for even more help with refugee aid seems to be making things awkward. ► OF THINGS TO COME: The Summer Maiden will remain distant for the first few days, but according to Gild and based on personal observation, it will seem that the news that the Ringmaster has been taken and the idea that even more desperate mortals are requesting to come here are putting her at significant ill ease. She's not rude or dismissive, but she seems reluctant to address the situation head on, though she has said that she will hold a meeting with the carnival later in the week to discuss everything in more detail. None of them seem particularly angry or resentful, but they seem to regard the carnival as an ill portent of things to come. |
no subject
"It's not that simple Strange," he chokes out. "To say to just fix it... as if that's even possible! I don't... I don't want your unconditional support. I want to have earned it, to know that who I am matters...!"
Ignatius grips the sides of his head, and then plunges his fists into the water in frustration, causing a splash that turns to steam and then immediately into snow.
"You behave as if I've ensorcelled you, even when I haven't. Do you not care about justice at all?"
no subject
"You've earned my support a thousand times already!" Strange points out, trying to keep that hint of desperation from crawling into his voice. "You respect me, you tried to save me from the Twelve, you tried to protect us from the Hunt, you trust me, and you gifted me your power back in Polaris. If anything, I'm the one who hasn't earned the support you give me."
no subject
It's hard to explain the feeling of unreality he gets from it all, or the kind of validation he feels like he needs. The justification that would make it seem real.
"I cannot see anything I've done as beyond the call of duty for an ally. It was only fair exchange for the care you had shown me, but... I still can't understand what started it all. At the start I had done nothing worth honoring, but your commitment was the same... as if my control of you had never ended..."
no subject
"You respected me. And aside from that, I thought you needed an ally. There have been multiple times now where I was trapped somewhere or in the clutches of an enemy and thought my situation was hopeless. If there was even just one person to show me a little bit of compassion, it would have made the situation so much more bearable."
Trapped in the pillar of darkness, trapped in Nightshade's realm, trapped inside the Silver Mirror...there's a long list of moments where Strange was stuck somewhere, by himself, without really much contact with the outside world. It was only when he got those moments of contact that things went from 'soul crushingly lonely' to 'bearable.'
"It might have started off as me just wanting to be on your side, but after Eden, you deserve every bit of loyalty I can give to you. Besides, you're a good man. Isn't that reason enough?"
no subject
"Do you even see me?" he demands. "How is capturing you, enslaving you, any kind of respect? I cast a spell to torture you! To punish you for what I saw as a lack of commitment to you own sacrifice! I saw your acceptance after the fact as purely an act of selfless kindness, but now I'm not sure you've ever perceived who I am at all."
"You say you wanted to follow me, to forgive and trust me, because you understood the trials of war. Because you know in your darkest moments you wanted the companionship that you were trying to give me. But does it even matter who I am? The more I learn, the more it feels that when you look at me, all you see is your own reflection!"
no subject
"I could ask the same thing!" Strange snaps, trying his hardest to temper his anger and trying not to glare at Ignatius. "I spent days in Nightshade's realm. I saw what the Rose Queen did to Steven, and what the Prince and the Mother of Invention did to their changelings. Compared to that, what you did to me was nothing. You claim I don't see you, but you can't even see yourself!"
no subject
He throws up his hands.
"I had polite meetings with the Rose Queen while Steven and Rita were forced to stand silent, like our property. I remember that child's hands shaking so much I could hear his tray rattling, in apprehension of the moment his mother or I would strike. It was on our orders that Nightshade saw fit to torture you, and I would not have disagreed with her if it meant getting what we wanted."
"I have existed for so much longer than you can comprehend, and in all that time you can't claim to know the full depth of my inaction and passivity." He lowers his hands, his fists clenched. "We don't only exist in relation to other people. For the longest time I thought the same... that I wasn't as bad as I could have been, so it was enough. I was wrong. Yet, you don't seem to understand that."
And then, more softly: "And I will never be better if I allow myself to find solace in my own inadequacy."
no subject
He hates this.
"Are you trying to make me hate you? Are you trying to drive me away? Because it's not working!" Strange lets out a little laugh, more desperate and slightly manic than anything else. "I don't know why but I can't hate you for what you're telling me. I'm trying to understand but I just...I don't..."
And Strange trails off, for once in his life at a loss for words.
no subject
He feels his heart sinking, because this shouldn't even be news. He thought it was understood this entire time, but here Strange is, acting like this is a revelation, rather than a plea for him to look at it objectively. Had Strange been so desperate to imagine that Ignatius was the one fae worthy of such dedication and redemption? The one fae that had only ever had sympathetic motivations?
"Did you think that the reactions of the others were baseless? Did... Did you really think about who I was at all? Beyond what you wanted me to be?"
He's not angry so much as he sounds like something he had wanted to believe in is finally slipping through his fingers. Strange's acceptance of him seems more and more like it was purely irrational - insane, even.
no subject
"You trust me," Strange explains, trying as hard as he can to get the words out and not make even more a hash of this than he already has. "And you respect me. And you trusted and respected me at a time when almost nobody else did. I honestly cannot tell you how much that means to me. I might not have thought of the implications, I will willingly admit to that, but you've consistently given me a purpose in a time when I barely had any."
no subject
"You don't have to hate me," he says, quietly. "But I can't be your purpose. I'm not even sure of my own." He's silent for another moment. "They have no reason to trust us - either of us. Not with what I've done, and with you choosing to ignore it. It's our responsibility to earn it."
Then he looks back at Strange, and his gaze is sympathetic.
"If only a near stranger can find it in themselves to respect or trust you, then maybe you, too, need to be better. You can't look to me for the validation you need. You have other, older companions that need you more than I do. I have a very long time to figure this out. You may not."
no subject
"That's the problem: I'm so afraid that they don't need me," Strange admits, with another sniffle. "I'm scared that everyone in the carnival will get along perfectly fine without me. And even if they do need me, they don't need me, but my magic or my connection to the Mirror."
It ties back into his fear that he mentioned with Yuya: that because he's not the top of anyone's priorities, he isn't needed. Which Strange knows is dumb and knows doesn't make any sense, but here we go.
no subject
"It's hard... to need someone that pushes you away," he says, tentatively, running a hand down the frown of his own chest, thoughtfully lost. "But... I don't know if it really is about need. We make a choice to bind ourselves to one another... maybe the fact that we never needed to in the first place is what makes it so precious."
He looks towards the Summerlands city, though it's hardly visible through the trees.
"Not needing someone doesn't mean you wouldn't be better with them."
no subject
As Ignatius mentions binding to one another, Strange reflexively looks down at his wedding ring. And then, something clicks in his brain.
"You're right," he muses, still staring down at his hand. In theory, he could get along fine without Arabella. He got along fine without her for most of his early life. But his life has become so much more now that she's in it.
"Do fae have marriage?" Without waiting for an answer, Strange continues. "It's a human thing, where two people bind their lives together out of affection. Not wants or needs, but because they simply like each other. I realize this may sound terribly silly and I suspect it will be damn hard for me to do so, but perhaps I should start thinking of things here more like that, instead of worrying about needs or purposes."
no subject
He smiles faintly, though, thinking of it.
"But we can come together for similar reasons. Because we desire each other's company. We're... not as good at it, as humans. But some of us try." He looks back to Strange, his gaze having drifted away in his musing. "I think that is the best way to look at it."
no subject
"Thank you," Strange simply says. "You took the time to sit with me and talk all this out. There's very few people in the carnival who would do something like that and I appreciate it tremendously."
"I still like you, of course," Strange continues, with another slightly awful sniffling sounding noise. "You're a good man and I'll still defend you should anyone say otherwise. But I don't like you in the way that I did when this conversation started."
It's less that Ignatius got knocked off the pedestal and more that he got placed on an entirely different one, one that's a lot closer to the ground. Yes, Ignatius did terrible things. Yes, he deserves to be called out for those terrible things. But the Ignatius who did those things probably wouldn't have had this conversation with Strange.