⇨ THE SUMMERLANDS

[ringleaders]

Who: Everyone!
When: Day 119 - Day 126
Where: The Summerlands
What: Ignatius and Gild portal everyone to the Summerlands, with hopes of appealing to the Summer Maiden for help. Meanwhile, the carnival gets the chance to relax in luxury as only tentatively welcome guests. Here is the location write up from the last time the carnival visited. Since then, of course, some things have changed.
Warnings: Nothing in particular.

THE SUN RISES↴ After taking the time to rest, Ignatius and Gild will be able to pool together their energy to portal the carnival (and the airship) to the Summerlands. Those still in Polaris will be left to their own devices for the moment as Gild intends to ask for the Summerlands aid in relocating them, hopefully as soon as possible. With the effort the carnival put into sorting things out in there, however, they should be fine on their own for a little while, at least. They will arrive in the flowery fields at the base of the mountains, and soon the Summer Fae will notice their presence. Since the last time they visited, however, the atmosphere has changed. ► YOUR ARRIVAL: As the Summer Fae discover the group's arrival, it will quickly become apparent that there is a tension present that wasn't there any of the other times the carnival has visited. The Summer Maiden comes to greet the group personally, with an entourage of armed Summer Fae. They are not at all aggressive unless provoked, but there is clearly a wariness that is new. They seem uncertain about Ignatius being here, and while Gild will be able to do a lot of the talking and smooth things over, the Summer Maiden will deflect having a serious conversation about affairs until the carnival has taken time to 'rest.' It's more likely that the Maiden needs a moment to think over this new information before dealing with it. ► SUMMER CITY: After the Summer Fae become aware of everyone's presence, and the initial uncertainties are accommodated, they will invite you into their city. There are stairs that lead up the sides of the mountains, but thankfully there are also magical means of getting up there as well. The Summer Fae will be willing to help workers with the injured as needed, offering herbal remedies and healing magic to those that want it. You'll also be invited to join them for dinner, but it feels like more of a formality, and no one is obligated to take them up on it. ► SUMMER PEOPLE: The fae here will do their best to entertain these new visitors - but it doesn't seem that much happens here besides day after day of peaceful meditation and relaxation. It is not uncommon to see Summer Fae spent days doing exactly the same thing, whether that be enjoying the weather, listening to music, or dancing - the day and night periods may be similar to earth, but when you don't need rest it can all blur together just the same. Some of the fae work on feats of agriculture or craftsmanship, and while there is no particularly need to work in this place, they take pride in the fact that they do. ► FAMILIAR FACES: One very different thing about the Summerlands this go around is that there appears to be a small settlement built at the base of the mountains, filled entirely with the former residents of the Manor. Alyss and Reyna will explain that they set up a place to live down there with the Summer Fae's help, and that the fae seems to be trying to remain hands off except when they are needed. The Manor folk overall seem to be doing well, though there is some tension regarding their place in the Summerlands - they are clearly seen as refugees, and while the Summer Fae do their best to help them, the arrival of the carnival and the request for even more help with refugee aid seems to be making things awkward. ► OF THINGS TO COME: The Summer Maiden will remain distant for the first few days, but according to Gild and based on personal observation, it will seem that the news that the Ringmaster has been taken and the idea that even more desperate mortals are requesting to come here are putting her at significant ill ease. She's not rude or dismissive, but she seems reluctant to address the situation head on, though she has said that she will hold a meeting with the carnival later in the week to discuss everything in more detail. None of them seem particularly angry or resentful, but they seem to regard the carnival as an ill portent of things to come.

Comments

[whattaprick]

It's such an unexpected thing, with little lead-up to it, that the end result is leaving Lambert nonplussed, staring at Strange in bewilderment rather than properly processing the apology.

"... Are you okay?" Lambert asks, tentatively, brow furrowing in worry as he looks Strange over for any trace of mind control or, worse, substance-induced insanity. "What brought this on?"

[kingsroads]

"Ignatius and I had a conversation," Strange explains. Lambert looking at him super worried is making Strange look at Lambert a little worried in return. Why's he looking at him like that? What the heck is up with that sort of expression?

"We pieced out a few things between the two of us. I had been putting him on a pedestal and focusing my energies on him because he gave me a purpose. And because I thought he needed me in ways that you and the rest of the carnival didn't." It's awkward as hell vocalizing this, but he needs to make amends. He needs to push past his own reluctance to talk about things like this and actually get it out.

"Add in the fact that I didn't know what to do with regards to a few personal revelations, and things just...spiraled. But they shouldn't have gotten that far and lasted that long. I'm sorry things happened that way."

[whattaprick]

Of course Ignatius had to be involved somehow. The worry only eases fractionally as Strange goes on to explain himself, reassured this at least isn’t some fit of madness.

“I didn’t think you had anything to piece out to begin with,” the witcher points out. He’s never gotten the impression Strange and Ignatius butt heads nearly as much as Strange does with everyone else he knows, but maybe he shouldn’t look a gift magician in the mouth. But hey, it sounds like Strange worked on actually talking to Ignatius about what he wants! That’s a good thing, probably?

Lambert scratches at his cheek. “Wait, what personal revelations are we talking about?”

[kingsroads]

Everything in Strange's body language plainly tells Lambert that he doesn't want to be here, he doesn't want to be saying these things. But here he goes, pushing through everything to try and get the words out.

"You and Childermass. Which I know, we've been over this time and time again, but I thought that I was...for lack of a better term, I thought I was your highest priority. To not only learn that was wrong but that I was unimportant enough for you to hide your relationship for lord knows how long hurt. And then being deemed untrustworthy enough to be removed from the nightrunners just made me feel even worse. So I put my focus on Ignatius and made him my highest priority instead."

He's on the defensive, drawing in to himself like he expects to be laughed at or made fun of.

"I don't regret my actions," Strange quickly adds. "Ignatius is a dear friend. I just...wish I had gone about it all differently and said all this sooner."

[whattaprick]

The witcher looks Strange over, still squinting suspiciously, but more in confusion than anything else this time.

“How many times do I have to say it wasn’t about you?” Lambert can’t help but ask, incredulous. “It was private. Don’t I have a right to that? Can’t you imagine having something that’s so important to you that you don’t want to share it with anyone else?” His lips compress, and he crosses his arms. It’s hard to know where to even begin to respond, at first, but eventually he does settle on something, with an effort.

“Thanks for ... telling me all that other stuff. How you felt. But what exactly do you expect me to do about it? Wishing won’t change the past.” His ears flatten, and he lets his gaze roll off Strange and off at a pinprick of light.

“It’s just hard to figure out. ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I don’t regret anything I did’ don’t usually go together.”

[kingsroads]

"I don't regret my overarching actions. Not befriending Ignatius or anything of that sort. Just...the smaller ones. And I regret the fact that I couldn't have pieced all this out sooner, before all that Hunt nonsense."

And maybe they wouldn't be having this conversation and things would be back to...well, they could never go back to the way they were, but maybe something closer to that. Strange is still drawing into himself, crossing his arms over his chest as he continues to talk.

"As for your first question? It doesn't matter whether it was about me or not, what matters is that I felt hurt by it. And because I felt hurt, I drew closer to Ignatius, and so on and so forth. And, as far as I can tell, neither of you have even acknowledged that." He's trying to keep his voice level, but the flames on his hair flicker a bit brighter in annoyance as he talks. "The only part of you who even made an attempt at trying to understand was Celandine."

[whattaprick]

“So in the end, you’re saying it’s our fault? That we’re the ones who drove you away?” Lambert’s expression pinches. “That’s so ...” He trails off. There are a number of ways to finish that sentence, but he hasn’t the words for it. This conversation likely isn’t going the way that Strange intended it to.

“Fine,” he enunciates, slowly. “I acknowledge we hurt your feelings by not telling you we were sleeping with each other, not that it was any of your business, and if I knew you were going to be like this about it gI would have definitely done more to convince Childermass we should have told you sooner. We didn’t think we’d be hurting anyone. But apparently, how you feel about anything is all that matters, so I’ll be sure to consult you on all decisions in my personal life in the future, too.” He sighs and stands up, grimacing.

“At least Rita and Yuya took it better when they found out.” And gods, this topic is stupid. He’s already tired of talking about it. “But it doesn’t even matter anymore.”

[kingsroads]

No, wait, that's not what he was trying to say! Strange opens his mouth, like he's about to counter something, but Lambert gets the words out first. The fact that Lambert's acknowledgement feels like simple lip service makes the fire of Strange's hair flare a little more in irritation, but he manages to temper that down and keep himself from calling Lambert out.

"Of course I would take it differently. I thought that I was a closer friend to the two of than either Rita or Yuya," Strange points out. "And it's not your fault. I am in charge of my own actions. It's just...I know I need you more than you need me. But to be confronted with that right after literally dying was unexpected. And I reacted poorly."

He's trying his hardest but the more Strange tries to explain things, the more frustrated he sounds. It was so easy with Yuya and Ignatius! Why can't Lambert just understand?

[whattaprick]

“And I was dealing with it after failing to kill my best friend, after he asked me to,” Lambert shrugs, one hand unconsciously going up to absently run over the scars left by Strange’s last attack on him. “And after he came yelling at me to defend the fae I was pretty convinced was our enemy, after the Ringmaster already threw me into a wall for hurting her feelings. What I’m saying is ... there were a lot of reasons to be pissed at me. I fucked up a lot. It’s just that I don’t understand why this fuckup is what matters so much.”

He pauses.

“Sometimes I wonder if it would have been less of a pain if you caught us fucking while you were scrying. That’d be pretty obvious.”

[kingsroads]

"That would have gone just as badly," Strange remarks, with a wry little laugh. Possibly worse. He pauses again while trying to vocalize what he's feeling.

"Do you know the feeling when you look at someone and you know that person thinks of you as the most important, that no matter what sort of circumstances you get into, that person will always be by your side and always try to help you? In my mind, that's the most wonderful feeling in the world. So consequently, having that feeling crash due to someone dying, someone leaving, or your best friend suddenly saying that you haven't been the most important to him in weeks and he didn't trust you enough to tell you that in the first place feels absolutely wretched. It's no surprise that someone would try and capture that feeling again, just with a different person."

[whattaprick]

There’s a pause. Then Lambert ventures, cautiously:

“I mean, to be honest, I’m not sure that’s how I’d ever describe my feelings towards you exactly, because I’m pretty sure what you just said sounds an awful lot like what it feels like to be married? The good part, anyway. And no offense, but didn’t we already talk about exactly how bad marrying each other would turn out?”

[kingsroads]

It's Strange's turn to be a bit cautious as he explains, "I've had that feeling before with people who aren't Arabella."

Is this weird? He's worried he made it weird. "If that's not it, then how would you describe your feelings towards me?"

[whattaprick]

That's because it's a little bit weird, Strange, but Lambert's heard worse. Lambert's brow furrows, and he crosses his arms, thinking about how he wants to answer that. It's a good question; it's just hard to put words around.

"The first time I met you, I looked at you and just saw someone who has everything he could want," he says, crossing his arms. He is, naturally, talking about everything before the whole dead wife revelation thing. "A home. Someone he loves, and someone who loves him back. Power to do things that most people could study their whole lives and never touch. An easy way of talking to people, making them like you. In other words," he smirks, "Someone I'd usually fucking hate."

His expression sobers up as he continues. "But it never felt like that mattered. You talked to me like you did anyone else. You knew how to have fun. You made time for me when I asked, and you didn't talk down to me. I could talk to you about anything, and you made me feel like I mattered. And even after I found out your life wasn’t really as perfect as I thought it was, that didn’t change. I guess you could say ... I looked up to you. I didn’t really think I could have what you did, but I thought I could try harder.” But hm, is he really answering Strange's question here, or is it just rambling on?

"But I mean ... the Carnival wasn’t your life. You always made it clear that your wife and your home were the first things on your mind." He cocks his head, scrunching his nose. Maybe he's just bad at this friendship thing, after all. "Making you the most important person in my life’d be like asking to be kicked in the teeth, wouldn’t it?”

[kingsroads]

Strange honestly looks shocked when Lambert mentions looking up to him. Because as far as he's concerned, he's the farthest thing from a role model or someone inspiring that anyone could think of. He pauses a little, looking super hesitant as he mulls over what to say next.

"It didn't have to be forever. Just here and now. After all, I can't do much for Arabella and for England while I'm at the carnival. And it's not like I could draw upon my wife and my home to keep me stable or hold me to my purpose while we're here. It was selfish of me, trying to lean so hard on you and then Ignatius to provide me with the strength I could never receive as long as I remained here...but there were times when I honestly felt I needed it."

Which is still tremendously selfish: 'I thought you could be the most important person in my life because I really needed a pillar of strength to keep from going crazy' is a thought that's insanely self-focused. But it is what it is. There's a little pause before he quietly laughs, though it's more laughing because you're tired instead of laughing due to funny things. "Though it's odd you mention that: I looked up to you as well."

[whattaprick]

“That’s not healthy, you know,” Lambert says plainly, stating the obvious — whether he means the admission of selfishness or the confession Strange looked up to him. It works for both. He could expound in great detail on just all the ways that’s unhealthy, but Strange has probably already thought of most of what Lambert has to say about that.

“But I guess I can’t talk.” He pauses. “So what now?”

[kingsroads]

Strange makes a little noise of acknowledgment in return. Yeah, he knows that putting all his eggs in one basket and all his focus on one person isn't healthy. But he knows enough about himself to know that focusing heavily on one person is the first in a long list of unhealthy decisions that Strange has made during his life.

"What now indeed," Strange remarks, with a little frown. "Ideally, I'd like us to go back to being friends. But that depends as much on what you want as what I want."

And then Strange pauses for a little, like he's waiting for Lambert to say something or comment on his statement.

[whattaprick]

“Well, that’s going to be a little difficult,” Lambert answers plainly, hooking his thumbs into the fabric looped around his waist.

He’ll let the pause linger, just to be an ass, before he breezily continues on. “Because as far as I’m concerned, we never stopped being friends.” He raises a brow at Strange, and goes on, “And like I said before ... we’re not the same people we used to be. Do we really want to go back to the kind of people who’d end up in this mess again?”

He jerks a thumb between him and Strange.

“I say we move on. Clean slate. Don’t forget how we fucked up, but actually do better.” He exhales. “It’s the only way we’re getting you home.”

[kingsroads]

Lambert being an ass works. As soon as he lets the pause linger, Strange's eyes widen a little in worry before he rolls his eyes at Lambert's next statement. However, he's smiling as he rolls his eyes. Ass.

"Moving on works well for me," he says with a nod. And then, Strange starts some gentle teasing that's also part gossip. "And a clean slate is the only way we're getting you to England as well. I talked with Childermass. He still wants to see England. He's just worried about the Void, the Courts, and all the rest."

Things that Strange should be worried about. Because Childermass was right: if he had any sense, he wouldn't be returning to England either. But he is so it's happening and sense, what common sense.

[whattaprick]

“At least half of those are things you should be worried about too, you know,” Lambert ribs back. “Don’t foist off all the worrying on Childermass, I’m not sure I want him going grey so early.”

Even if he’s already reached a respectable age by Regency era standards and grey wouldn’t be out of place. And even if it probably wouldn’t change Lambert’s feelings about him one bit if he woke up tomorrow with his hair completely turned to silver.

[kingsroads]

"There's no use worrying. None of us can plan for the Void, the Courts, the Miracles, and so on. All we should do is focus on strengthening up what we already have so that we can face whatever challenge is thrown in our way."

And that right there is one of the reasons why Childermass drinks. Strange's voice is very nonchalant as he talks. After all, it's not like any of them can just ask the Void or a shattered Mirror 'hey there, please don't start shit.' As far as Strange is concerned, they should do what makes them happy and then fight whatever battles come their way.

"Besides," Strange teases, "when I invite Ignatius to come and visit England, perhaps that counts enough as marking the territory for Summer."

[whattaprick]

If or when they ever get to England, Lambert quietly resolves to make sure they figure out a way to stay comfortably out of Strange’s immediate ability to barge in on them, or he really is going to drive Childermass to an early grave. Call it selfish, but Lambert has a sneaking suspicion Strange is a prophecy-touched cockroach who’ll live through anything as long as English magic’s got a use for him; Childermass might not be so lucky.

“Good luck convincing Childermass to see it that way,” he shrugs, wry. Though mentioning inviting Ignatius makes him snort. “And don’t even joke about it. Ignatius is one thing, but the Courts are still shit. If they actually decided to claim your world, they’d remake it.”

[kingsroads]

"But Ignatius is still Summer." At least, he thinks. Strange still isn't sure how Ignatius's entire new aspect will change things with regards to Ignatius and the Summer Court. That's a question he'll have to ask later. When he talks, Strange is pretty serious, though he's obviously trying to hide the worry in his voice.

"Childermass is right. With everything that happened to us, our world's become much more interesting than it was before. Add in the fact that England is now full of magicians: one of whom might attempt to summon someone as awful as the Rose Queen or the Count of Crows. It's safer for all of us if our world picks a side or allies with a fae and spares everyone the fighting."

And at least in Strange's mind, that side is the Summer Court. He's obviously a little hesitant about this decision. Making choices for all of English magic is one thing, making choices for an entire world is something different.

[whattaprick]

“You might actually want to check with Ignatius or Shimmer if that’s going to work, because I’m not sure ‘sparing’ is really what the fae do.” Lambert gives Strange a sidelong look, head tipped. He considers the fact that of all the magicians in England with a potential summoning problem, the biggest liability is the one right beside him, but no sense getting into that fight.

“The safest thing,” he says, looking towards the sky, “Is to cut right to the source. Get the Courts to stop thinking they’ve got to take over worlds to begin with.”

[kingsroads]

"The safest thing and yet the hardest. You're far too idealistic." Strange gives Lambert a small little smile as he shakes his head. "It takes drastic action to make an entire country shift it's way of being. For creatures so stuck in themselves as the fae are, it would probably take the most drastic of drastic actions for them to even consider not taking over worlds."

And considering the ruling fae they've dealt with so far...the Summer Maiden might be fine with not taking over worlds, as she seems like a little bit of a pushover, but then we've got the Summer Queen and the Winter Queen, two different people who Strange doubts will change just because someone gives a convincing speech or asks nicely.

[whattaprick]

“What, you think I’m suggesting the Queens just sit down for a cup of tea and a nice heart to heart and they’ll be friends again? As if.”

The tip of the witcher’s tail lashes, absently.

“Doesn’t feel right, leaving a job unfinished,” he says at last. “I want to find that third Miracle.”