lostcarnival | ⇨ THE SUMMERLANDS

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⇨ THE SUMMERLANDS

Who: Everyone!
When: Day 119 - Day 126
Where: The Summerlands
What: Ignatius and Gild portal everyone to the Summerlands, with hopes of appealing to the Summer Maiden for help. Meanwhile, the carnival gets the chance to relax in luxury as only tentatively welcome guests. Here is the location write up from the last time the carnival visited. Since then, of course, some things have changed.
Warnings: Nothing in particular.

THE SUN RISES↴

After taking the time to rest, Ignatius and Gild will be able to pool together their energy to portal the carnival (and the airship) to the Summerlands. Those still in Polaris will be left to their own devices for the moment as Gild intends to ask for the Summerlands aid in relocating them, hopefully as soon as possible. With the effort the carnival put into sorting things out in there, however, they should be fine on their own for a little while, at least.

They will arrive in the flowery fields at the base of the mountains, and soon the Summer Fae will notice their presence. Since the last time they visited, however, the atmosphere has changed.

► YOUR ARRIVAL: As the Summer Fae discover the group's arrival, it will quickly become apparent that there is a tension present that wasn't there any of the other times the carnival has visited. The Summer Maiden comes to greet the group personally, with an entourage of armed Summer Fae. They are not at all aggressive unless provoked, but there is clearly a wariness that is new. They seem uncertain about Ignatius being here, and while Gild will be able to do a lot of the talking and smooth things over, the Summer Maiden will deflect having a serious conversation about affairs until the carnival has taken time to 'rest.' It's more likely that the Maiden needs a moment to think over this new information before dealing with it.

► SUMMER CITY: After the Summer Fae become aware of everyone's presence, and the initial uncertainties are accommodated, they will invite you into their city. There are stairs that lead up the sides of the mountains, but thankfully there are also magical means of getting up there as well. The Summer Fae will be willing to help workers with the injured as needed, offering herbal remedies and healing magic to those that want it. You'll also be invited to join them for dinner, but it feels like more of a formality, and no one is obligated to take them up on it.

► SUMMER PEOPLE: The fae here will do their best to entertain these new visitors - but it doesn't seem that much happens here besides day after day of peaceful meditation and relaxation. It is not uncommon to see Summer Fae spent days doing exactly the same thing, whether that be enjoying the weather, listening to music, or dancing - the day and night periods may be similar to earth, but when you don't need rest it can all blur together just the same. Some of the fae work on feats of agriculture or craftsmanship, and while there is no particularly need to work in this place, they take pride in the fact that they do.

► FAMILIAR FACES: One very different thing about the Summerlands this go around is that there appears to be a small settlement built at the base of the mountains, filled entirely with the former residents of the Manor. Alyss and Reyna will explain that they set up a place to live down there with the Summer Fae's help, and that the fae seems to be trying to remain hands off except when they are needed. The Manor folk overall seem to be doing well, though there is some tension regarding their place in the Summerlands - they are clearly seen as refugees, and while the Summer Fae do their best to help them, the arrival of the carnival and the request for even more help with refugee aid seems to be making things awkward.

► OF THINGS TO COME: The Summer Maiden will remain distant for the first few days, but according to Gild and based on personal observation, it will seem that the news that the Ringmaster has been taken and the idea that even more desperate mortals are requesting to come here are putting her at significant ill ease. She's not rude or dismissive, but she seems reluctant to address the situation head on, though she has said that she will hold a meeting with the carnival later in the week to discuss everything in more detail. None of them seem particularly angry or resentful, but they seem to regard the carnival as an ill portent of things to come.

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It's not an off assumption, especially if Yuya's running ragged for someone he honestly worries about more than most people in the carnival. But he also has a lot of people to keep him in check, and he's at least a little less self destructive.

He laughs shyly, rubbing the back of his head. "I won't let you down."

His expression slips a little when he remembers something. "Uh--but if you're leaving at the end of this contract, does that mean you're not going to have the Ringmaster break your curse?"

Last he heard, the plan for that was another contract.

"What? Oh, she already broke it."

Did he forget to tell Yuya this? Shit, he probably forgot to tell Yuya this. In Strange's defense, he's had a completely bonkers past few weeks, he's allowed to forget a few things!

"She did?!" Yuya mirrors Strange's surprise. "And she didn't ask for another contract?"

Well, if his time is almost up, she must not have. So he's free, and when he goes home he'll be able to be with Arabella proper.

"That's great, Mr. Strange!"

He can't help but smile, giving Yuya a wide grin as he continues talking. "She didn't. Admittedly, she was a little hesitant about the whole thing, but I figured there wasn't any harm in asking. When I return home, I'll return to Arabella."

And man alive is that the best feeling around. It's a little bit of happiness just lingering in Strange's chest. Because he will return home. And he will return to Arabella. There's just no doubt about it.

Fae have a Thing about favors, so that only cements for Yuya that it was a big request, and that the Ringmaster really cares to have still done it. They definitely have to save her.

"That's good... it's been really hard with the carnival, but I'm glad there's still been good things coming out it." His voice is light with relief. "I guess I won't have to ask the Summer Maiden for help after all."

"Even if I didn't have the curse broken, I'd tell you to ask the Summer Maiden for help with the carnival as a whole, not just me." Strange frowns a little, looking down at his hands as he continues talking. "My magic is only grown since I arrived here. I might not have been able to break the curse when I first signed onto the carnival, but now? Who knows."

Lord knows the fae in Strange's world didn't plan for things like 'this one dude getting infected by powerful faerie artifact cooties.'

"Besides, everyone as a whole needs help more than I individually do."

Yuya's expression twists with bemusement. "But we also have everyone helping each other to get through this. Something that only hurts you is a little different."

It wouldn't be as many people's priority, especially in the short term with all the danger. And without the danger, there's nothing more urgent for Yuya to use it on anyway.

"And I want everyone to get through this and recover, but they're not all my teacher and a close friend, either." That's said with a pointed look.

Strange blinks a little as Yuya points out the fact that he's a friend. He blushes slightly, shaking his head a little.

"I know you do. But I can't go home until I survive all of this first," said with a vague hand gesture to all of the Summerland's everything.

"I know that." Yuya raises a brow. They're all in the same situation there, after all. It wasn't exactly the point he was making, though. "And I think you will. We survived escaping the Moth of Invention, didn't we?"

"By the skin of our teeth," Strange sighs. He gets that Yuya's trying to be helpful and trying to reassure him, but Strange is still a bit adamant that Yuya focus on others (but mostly himself) instead of Strange. He takes a moment to think about if this is the argument he really wants to have right now...before deciding no, it isn't, and he backs down a little.

"I just worry that the next time, we won't be so lucky." Because in Strange's mind, that's the only reason they managed to survive that last fight.

Yuya's expression slips. They talked about this the last time, too. He's a little sad that Strange still thinks its luck.

"I don't think it's luck to have people that will come help us when we need it." That goes for Ignatius, too. It wasn't luck that Gild cared enough about him to keep an eye on him while he was in danger, so she'd know when to come. "I mean, we couldn't plan for what Creation was going to do, but everything else... we did that, together."

It's adamant, but as soon as Yuya says it his expression scrunches a little when something occurs to him. "You're part of the carnival. You're one of us too--you see that, right?"

Strange can't help but frown a little as he looks over at Yuya. He's not entirely sure what Yuya might be getting at. A moment later, his little frown shifts to a curious expression as Strange continues,

"Of course I'm part of the carnival. I'm stuck with all of you, aren't I?"

For all that he really doesn't want to be, here he is.

That kind of phrasing is something Yuya would probably normally brush off with a joke. But he's just a little uncertain this time, when Strange seems to be pulling away--despite saying before how much he wanted to be a priority of someone here. Maybe Yuya didn't manage to breech the exact issue, after all.

"I don't think of it like that," he admits slowly, averting his gaze to the side. "Being stuck with everyone. We've dealt with a lot of awful things, and I want to go home but... there are still people here that are important to me. It's not just that we all happened to sign a contract with the Ringmaster, right? We've survived all of this together."

Yuya's not sure if he's saying what he's feeling right, either. There's so much they've all done together for each other that he sees.

It's obvious that Strange has a different view of things than Yuya does. He lightly bites his lip before he continues to talk.

"That's the thing," Strange admits, with a little frown. "We have survived all this so far but if I was given the chance to go home? I'd take it. No matter the consequences, no matter what happened to the rest of everyone, I'd take it."

He shifts, a little uncomfortably, before continuing. "If I was given the chance to go home, I'd have abandoned you all in Polaris."

Yuya blinks rapidly, gripped by initial surprise as he stares at Strange. It's jarring, when for him Strange has always been kind and supportive.

Yuya shakes his head, leaning a little closer as he scrutinizes him. "Really? Would you? And not regret it? There's nothing as long as you've been here that matters enough that you'd protect it?"

Protect them, because what is the carnival but the people that made it up. His voice is challenging, because it's easier to disbelieve what Strange is saying as stress. That if really faced with it he'd pull through, because he cares. His focus is heavy, looking for any sign of uncertainty.

Almost instantly, Strange is paralyzed with indecision. He sees Yuya looking at him and his first instinct is just to run, because he doesn't want to have this conversation, he doesn't want to do something where he almost loses a friend again just because he tries to be honest and say what's on his mind. There's a brief moment where Strange just looks fucking terrified as he considers the merits of ending this conversation here and now.

But, he sticks it out, looking for all the world like he just does not want to be here.

"I'd regret part of my choices no matter what. And I'd protect people as long as I remain with the carnival. But I...we've almost died. We keep almost dying, for the past few months it's been a weekly occurrence. Hell, I already died once already! If everything is going to continue to try and kill me, then I'd rather they try and kill me after I returned to Arabella."

Edited 2018-12-19 04:33 (UTC)

Yuya loosely wraps his arms around himself, like there's some sort of chill despite the weather being perfectly warm. "I know."

It comes out quiet, his voice not having quite the same force when he has to relive that constant fear of loss. "But that's not what I meant. We're already here, and... and no one's able to go home right now. Isn't there anything here that you care about? You said you wanted to be someone's priority..."

And he had names. Has friends. Yuya thought Strange already cared about people, and just wanted to be loved back. That maybe he couldn't see how important he was. Even if going home was the end goal--Yuya understands that, he wants it too--there had to be something that kept Strange tethered to the carnival itself in the meantime. Right?

"Of course there's people I care about here," Strange grumbles. "And I do still want to be someone's priority, especially since you're right, no one's able to go home right now. But Arabella is and always has been my highest priority. If there's some way I can be with her, I'm going to seize it."

This shouldn't be a surprise. At least in Strange's mind, he thinks he's always made it pretty aware that Arabella was his first and highest priority. Hell, she's the whole reason he signed up to this place to begin with.

"And I'm not the only one who thinks that way. There's a few others here who would also do whatever it takes to get back to those they love, no matter the consequences." There's at least two others on his mind: Tyki and Zangetsu. They too would have done anything to survive Polaris—hell, they outright told Strange that. It wouldn't surprise him if they would also do anything to stay alive and return to the people in their worlds they cared about, even at the expense of the carnival.

"How can you be someone's priority if they're not yours," Yuya mumbles. At least, willful abandonment doesn't sound like real priority at all. The answer is probably 'unequal relationship' and Yuya tries to ignore a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Is that why you never want my help? Because I--I wouldn't." He couldn't. "Because the friends I've made here are important to me. You, and Rita and others here matter to me."

To Yuya, there are things in the carnival that are also very precious to him. People who he wants to protect and make happy, even if he has to suffer a little with them. It's not just bidding his time to escape.

"What? No, that's not it. I don't want your help because I can take care of my problems myself." Or, at least, because he wants to take care of his problems himself and he feels that he should be able to do that on his own. There's a pause before Strange continues, turning it back on Yuya slightly.

"And, if I may be honest, I don't want your help because you should help yourself instead. Selflessness is admirable, but if it almost kills you like it did in Polaris? Then you're simply using selflessness to be selfish."

For all Yuya talks about how other people matter to him, Strange wonders if he's grasped the fact that he matters to other people.

Yuya flinches, snapping his attention up at Strange in surprise. "I'm not! I..."

He grips his arms tighter, his footing thrown off from having to defend himself now. "But I'm not the one who is getting killed! You've been hurt a lot worse, so what about taking care of yourself!"

He bites his tongue, briefly regretting it. But compared to a lot of others, his physical suffering has been minimal. It's the emotional pain of watching them suffer that's really taken it's toll.

"But that's still not... could you really just leave someone you care about knowing they're going to suffer?"

"If there was a guaranteed way for me to return back to my world? Then yes, I could." He says it without hesitation. He'd still feel guilty about it, of course. And part of him would regret his choice no matter what it was. But for all everybody talks about saving the Ringmaster or going to find her or how she'll come back for them, Strange is well aware of the possibility that it might not happen.

Everything he's done, he's done for Arabella. This isn't anything different.

Yuya doesn't have anything to say to that at first. Part of him was still holding onto some hope. That Strange was just lashing out, just upset, and that he didn't really mean things like that. It's hard for him to consolidate saying he cares about anyone here when he's admitting that he'd leave them for dead if he actually had the opportunity to. That he'd leave Yuya. What happened to the assurance they'd get out of Polaris? That they'd find a way to keep in touch, that Yuya would visit England?

That's why it really leaves his chest tight. Strange might not really care about him as much as he thought. Or as much as he does? There's a sense of wrongness that makes Yuya sure that he couldn't do the same, that even if he could go home he wouldn't feel right if the cost was the safety, the happiness of his friends here. He couldn't leave them without doing everything to get them through it, too. Strange was someone he trusted, confided to, wanted to make proud--someone he thought he'd made an irreplaceable friend in. Now it just hurts.

Yuya steps back, turning his gaze away as his eyes blur with tears. "I guess we have different definitions of caring for people."

"Or who we care about the most," Strange says, with a small sigh. He thought Yuya knew this already. Why was this such a shock? Had he not been more blunt about the fact that though he loved his coworkers and have made some dear friends, his stay at the carnival was, at it's core, a means to an end?

For one of the few times in his life, Strange quietly wishes that he had been more overt, more blatant about something.

"It isn't a secret that I was going to leave as soon as my year was up. And if my contract ended during something like Wismuth or Eden, I'd have left then. I still care for everyone here and will still help out the carnival as much as I can while I'm still around...but this was never a permanent thing for me."

"I didn't say it was permanent!" Yuya snaps, his shoulders going tense as his expression twists with frustration. "There's a difference between your contract ending and--and this!"

Where they're beaten, where their contracts don't matter, when they were cornered and tortured. The contract was the tether to the carnival, but there was no magic keeping them together now. What was left was just what they meant to each other.

Now Strange assurances of their future in Polaris felt empty and cold when he admits that he would have left before seeing them through to save himself first. A shudder runs through Yuya. "You were so upset you didn't think you were anyone's priority. I wanted--"

Wanted him to know how important he was to Yuya. To make it clear that Strange wasn't alone and unneeded, unloved here. But it suddenly feels like it doesn't really matter. So he shakes his head, rubbing eyes harshly.

⇨ THE SUMMERLANDS

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