Something something the carnival is doomed.

[squeedlyspooch]

Who: Taako and Zim.
When: Before the event after they are assigned a trailer.
Where: Their new trailer!
What: New roomies! New digs! This is going to go so well.
Warnings: Language, and Zim is prejudiced against non-Irkens. The worst birds and the bees talk ever happens as well.


The Backyard is one of the few places Zim hasn't extensively examined, and for several reasons. One, he already has an excellent base and therefore no need for some backwater "trailer" residence pod, whatever a "trailer" is. Next, it being the homes of these gross mutants is off-putting and repulsive to him. Finally, he's been busy doing other things like getting offended at the lake and suspiciously eyeing some of the rides and game booths.

However, he did apparently get assigned one and it's only a matter of time before he decides to actually see it. Not out of any need for rest - Irkens don't need to sleep - but out of curiosity. Maybe there's some useful equipment he can commandeer for some evil plans. Or an evil escape. An evil something? He hasn't thought that part through yet.

He's standing in front of a small trailer, unimpressed. If he had eyebrows he'd be raising them, but instead he bends over to see that the trailer doesn't even extend into the ground. It's just... a little silver capsule, no basement, no underground labs, nothing. If it was a ship it would still be a piece of junk, in his opinion. It's lack of flight capabilities is just one more reason why it's terrible, and it makes him throw his hands in the air. "This is it?" He says to no one in particular. "It's garbage! There aren't any proper defenses! No communications array! Not even any little lawn animals! How am I supposed to work with this??"

Comments

[squeedlyspooch]

Zim remains where he is, staring intently at the music box, tapping a finger on the counter as he waits and waits and... waits. For something more than just music to happen, which in his excellent opinion is not the least bit impressive or interesting. When the music goes on and it becomes clear that's all the box is for, he throws his hands in the air.

"That's it?? Where was this supposed fire?!"

[tacosgay]

"Just give it a minute, my man, you'll see it."

Quietly, Taako picks himself up, and he reaches over to pick up the Umbra Staff. He levels it with the music box...

... and then it suddenly, violently explodes into flames in Zim's hands, spitting sparks everywhere.

(Of course, if Zim pays any attention at all, he'll notice that there's no heat to the flame; it's just a visual illusion, after all.)

[squeedlyspooch]

The visual aspects is more than enough to get him to yelp and drop the music box in surprise, which hopefully doesn't actually break the thing. He's definitely more interested now though, so he eagerly crouches down to give the music box a second examination.

"Amazing! How does it work?? More magic??"

[tacosgay]

The box is pretty sturdy-- and Zim isn't very tall, of course, which means it doesn't fall far-- so it holds together pretty well, though it makes a sharp sound when it's dropped. Taako reaches down to retrieve it, setting it back up on the counter, and he smirks down at Zim.

"Yeah, somethin' like that. Anything else you wanna shove your fingers at and see if it explodes?"

[squeedlyspooch]

Zim looks thrilled, which is never a good indication that the situation is going to be pleasant and free of explosions and pain. The gears of his mind are clearly turning; he's already mulling over potential doomsday uses for musical magic boxes that explode and so on, as he moves onto Taako's next belongings. "Yes! What else do you have that's useful?! I need an inventory of everything in this trailer to see what's worth keeping and using for base defenses!"

[tacosgay]

"Well... let me see." Taako tries to think of the least useful items he has, or something that, at the very least, definitely couldn't be used explosively. He picks up the pocket spa and tosses it down, letting it unfold and deploy-- it's pretty much just a door that leads into a small tent, though the inside seems to be way bigger than it implies.

"Here you go. It's my, uh, pocket spa. It doesn't sound too exciting, but just have a look around in there."

[squeedlyspooch]

Now this is a slightly more impressive display than his first impression of the music box, mainly because the whole deploying thing is vaguely reminiscent of technology that he's used to. His base being the foremost one in his mind, having started off as a tiny drill device. Whether this is magic or technology doesn't really matter to him, all he cares about is what it can do.

Unfortunately for Zim, he has no idea what a spa is. Equally unfortunate is his desire to go barge straight through that door before figuring that out. He does exactly that, without bothering to say anything to Taako, which is an extremely poor decision on his part given the huge amount of water typically used in spas. This one is no different, and after only a few seconds Zim is going to be running back out of the spa, screaming horribly. The steam was thick enough to burn his skin, and there's not only an audible sizzling sound but a smoke-like substance emanating from him as he flops onto the ground.

[tacosgay]

"Holy shit. Uh." Taako takes as much of a step back as he can in the small trailer, allowing Zim the room to escape and collapse as he needs to.

"Uh... you okay, there, champ?"

[squeedlyspooch]

No, definitely not okay, though the burning isn't the outright scalding when he comes into contact with water. It's still painful, though Zim powers through that, shoving down his screaming in answering.

"Why - " He sucks in a lungful of air, twitching and still sizzling. "Why do you keep a pocket dimension full of WATER?!"

[tacosgay]

"Uh... I mean, that's kind of a big component of most spas. Like, you know, hot tubs and steam and all that?"

He's never heard of spas before. And apparently has an issue with water. Good to know, for more than one reason.

[squeedlyspooch]

"NO!" He snaps back, pushing himself back up to his feet, his wig askew. "Irkens don't have 'spas'! I don't even know what that is!"

His first assumption is now a torture device, but this time he's going to hold off on jumping to conclusions and just give Taako an expectant look. He can't very well ask his base computer for a definition, so he's stuck having to hear the explanation from said spa owner.

[tacosgay]

"Well, most people go there to relax," Taako confesses, his mouth hidden behind his hand. He definitely feels like laughing at this guy will trigger another outburst of rage, but... holy shit.

[squeedlyspooch]

By people he assumes he means humans and elves and whatever other gross creatures live on his homeworld, which Zim is deciding is an overall terrible place he would like to blow up in the future.

"Never deploy that thing in here again," he growls, casting a vicious glance back at the spa.

[tacosgay]

"I can deploy it outside, though, right?" Taako closes it up, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "'Cause I paid a lot of money for this thing, so I'm pretty much gonna have to use it."

[squeedlyspooch]

"Just not in here!" The only saving grace is the fact that the thing isn't like the lake, ever-present, and requires going through that door. Unless someone picks him up and tosses him in he should have an easy enough time avoiding the spa.

[tacosgay]

"Fiiine, fine," Taako says, sighing as though he is the most put-upon elf in the entire multiverse. He retrieves the little pop-tent from the floor, setting it aside somewhere that Zim can't accidentally, who knows, trip or fall into it somehow? He seems pretty unlucky.

"Okay, no more water. Got it. Is ice cool, or, like..."

[squeedlyspooch]

The spa gets one more angry look as it is put away, making a very important mental luck to never ever go near that thing again. Or any spas, for that matter. Spas are officially terrible, terrible things that are the equivalent of torture chambers.

"I'm not going to find out," he replies curtly. "That was almost as bad as rain."

[tacosgay]

"Yeah, okay..." Taako frowns at his selection of belongings. He doesn't really have anything else interesting for Zim to poke at... then again, why is he letting this guy go through his stuff, anyway?

Well. On second thought, it is entertaining.

He sits down, legs crossed, and looks into his bag to see what else he has that Zim can use to hurt himself improve things around the trailer; he pulls out a few items that he sets aside. A couple of wands, their purpose he doesn't divulge; a stun baton that he promptly puts back to keep for himself; a strange, unmarked metal rod that has only a button on one side; a salt shaker, a pack of gum, and what seems to be a plain slingshot.

There's still weight in the bag; he's got something that he's keeping in there, hidden, for now. But the above items, he'll allow Zim to fiddle with, since he can't really do any harm with them, especially given he has no idea what any of them are or do.

"There. Go nuts, little man."

[squeedlyspooch]

Folding his arms impatiently, he has the sense to wait this time for Taako to lay everything out. He isn't much of a fan of the waiting though, and he's very clearly eyeing the baton and the bag. If he isn't going to indulge as to what the rest of that stuff is, then they've got to be interesting and worthwhile. Probably weaponry, since that would be the only real thing worth keeping for himself - in Zim's opinion.

But he starts with the stuff that has been left out. That could still be useful, somehow. He's creative, he'll figure it all out. Of course, he doesn't immediately grab at any of it, having literally been burned from making assumptions about the spa. Part of his PAK slides open and a robotic arm shoots out, with a clampy sort of end to it, and he uses it to pick up the slingshot. "Explain what all of these do. Unless it's all garbage."

[tacosgay]

"Oooh, careful with that, my man," Taako says, leaning back against the wall and watching Zim with a smirk on his face. "That is a leg-shrinker. I saw one guy use it on accident and his legs just... poof. Disappeared completely. Now he has to walk everywhere on his hands."

[squeedlyspooch]

Well, that gets dropped very quickly, though Zim's expression is only half 'eeugh' as the other half is schemingly thoughtful. Maybe he can attach it to a robotic lawn ornament outside as a defensive measure against anyone who gets too close to the trailer.

"This?" The robot claw goes for one of the wands.

[tacosgay]

"Oh, that's the wand of Dingaling Stealing." Taako can't even tell if this guy has a dingaling of any kind, but it's the first thing to mind. "Very effective psychological weapon, but it only works some of the time, so you better be sure when you point it at somebody."

[squeedlyspooch]

There is absolutely no recognition on Zim's face upon hearing that explanation, so either he doesn't or he isn't familiar with the slang. It's tough to say, really. However, the possibility of a psychological weapon is pretty appealing, regardless of what it does.

"So, eh, this one might actually be useful on some kind of defensive lawn ornament. To keep the other repulsive drones working here away." He is completely serious.

[tacosgay]

"... yyyeah. You heard what I said it does, right?" He raises his eyebrows, smirking a bit more broadly. "'Cause, I mean, yeah, that'd definitely keep people out after the first one, but like... only people who have a dingaling to start with, you know?"

[squeedlyspooch]

Zim just looks at him. "I have no idea what you're talking about."