just gotta ignite the light and let it shine

[whattaprick]

Who: Everyone who's stupid enough to show up for this, because legal drinking ages are for people from a different century/planet.
When: Afternoon/Evening, Day 30
Where: Lakeshore
What: Local Carnival workers get wasted and set off fireworks by the lake.
Warnings: Carnival shenanigans, ie. booze, drugs, and people getting set on fire probably. Put any tag-specific warnings in your headers!

So, Wismuth happened.

Lambert's pretty willing to bet a good chunk of the Carnival is pretty happy to act like Wismuth didn't happen, but he also doesn't really care about what sorrows people are drowning or not tonight: he knows he needed this drink, and after he'd slept off the immediate exhaustion that came with running around Wismuth for nearly two weeks with the power of Creation more or less constantly burning through him, he's ready to something, anything to feel like himself again.

Fast-forward to the lakeshore. There's a huge bonfire going, a box of assorted fireworks that's been 'liberated' from wherever the hell engineering keeps their supplies, and probably a crate of wine that's going to disappear sooner rather than later. Anything else, someone's going to have to bring themselves.

[ ooc: This is a mingle log! Bring your own entertainment, food, questionable substances etc. ]

Comments

[kingsroads]

Strange is also trying not to lose his cool. They're here for fun, this is supposed to be fun and getting drunk by the lake and not worrying about things, not arguing about dumb things like feelings. He just needs to remember that and force through this trainwreck of a conversation and then he can drink all the wine he wants.

He's still rubbing the bridge of his nose, paying no attention to Lion, as Strange takes a breath before continuing to talk.

"I'm not trying to say that," Strange explains, trying to deliberately choose his words. It's not Steven's fault he's sensitive. After all, if Steven could change this about himself, he would, right? Strange hopes so, crying is exhausting. "What I'm trying to say is that this explains why you react a certain way when I say things that I don't think are mean in the first place. I didn't think there was anything wrong with my suggestion in Wismuth and I don't think there's anything wrong with pointing out how sensitive you are."

[starseedling]

Steven's ears are still flattened, but at least what Strange says this time actually makes sense to him. If that's the reason why Strange didn't realize, and not a reason why what Strange does is okay. Unless Strange does think that? He's not sure.

Steven scales back his emotions a little, and tries to think about that carefully. It doesn't really check out.

"But you had to know you were hurting Lapis, before. I tried to just let everything go, I didn't want to be mad, but when it happened again in a different way..." His shoulders sink again. "It just gets really hard to trust you with stuff."

[kingsroads]

"I didn't know that what I was saying hurt Lapis as much as it did," Strange sighs. "And I am sorry about that. Peridot explained the situation later. If I had known the extent of how she was trapped in that mirror, I wouldn't have said those things."

And it's true. Strange was thinking along magical lines, a curse or a spell that one could break, not 'surprise, you currently don't have a physical form and can't reassemble said physical form for hundreds of years.' It was when Peridot explained the circumstances behind everything that Strange realized just how catastrophically awful he was.

Maybe this was the same sort of thing? Maybe if he talked to Steven and learned more about him then at least he could figure out what not to say or why he did the things he did. "That might be our problem too," Strange admits, with a little frown.

Because, at least for Strange, the problem is 'try and find a way to have a conversation with Steven without everything going to hell' not 'change an aspect of your personality.' At least, that's the problem at the moment.

[starseedling]

As is his way, Steven responds to any inkling of regret on Strange's part viscerally, already turning to look at him with an expression of surprise and sympathy. For all there are probably things that Strange would be objectively better off if he stopped doing, Steven isn't hellbent on shaming anyone into changing.

If anything, he's desperate to find somewhere they can meet in the middle, and this feels like a welcome and unexpected invitation.

"Yeah, maybe," Steven says, flushing slightly as he looks back at his knees, but smiles a little at the same time. "Even... Even if I didn't want there to be, there's still a lot of things I'm kind of messed up about. Being a Harbinger made that really obvious."

[kingsroads]

"That makes two of us," Strange admits, as he leans back on the grass. Because considering the embarrassingly long litany of terrible decisions he's made, it's really no use hiding that Strange is messed up about a lot of things as well.

"How shall we do this? Should I say something I'm messed up about, then you, and so on? Or shall we ask each other questions?"

Strange is also smiling a little. Because this...is going good? He can do this, this is working.

[starseedling]

That's more straightforward than Steven was maybe expecting. He looks confused for a moment, but then his smile widens a little into something a little bit more relaxed.

"You can say something first if you want," he says after a moment. "There's probably a lot I don't know about you, right?"

[kingsroads]

Smart move letting the person who won't shut up go first. Though Strange nods at Steven's question. Because he's right. There is a lot Steven doesn't know about him, just as there's a lot that Strange doesn't know about Steven. And maybe, just maybe this is as simple as his problem with Peridot and learning about each other would solve everything.

"Well, this one's fairly obvious: I'm married. My wife's name is Arabella and I miss her terribly." At least, it's fairly obvious to anybody who talks to Strange for a certain amount of time. He doesn't really shut up about Arabella. Still, that's possibly the biggest and safest answer for Strange explaining how he's messed up so that's what he's starting with. Plus, he might get to talk about how amazing his wife is!