lostcarnival | ⇨ THE SUMMERLANDS

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⇨ THE SUMMERLANDS

Who: Everyone!
When: Day 138 - Day 152
Where: The Summerlands
What: The Ringmaster brings the carnival to the Summerlands immediately after being freed from Portland so that everyone can take a fucking nap. Her included.
Warnings: Individually marked! Most likely discussion of torture and trauma in here.

DAYS OF SUMMER↴

You made it! And things are back to normal... more or less. Upon waking, you will be greeted with a clear blue sky and gentle breeze – the carnival has found itself situated between a pair of mountain peaks, with great fields of flowers extending in the distance. In the other direction, you’ll see mountain-top cities and tall waterfalls accenting vast swaths of forest.

Some of you will already know this place. It’s the Summerlands. You game here once to rest in safety nearly a year ago, and now you’ve come to rest once again.

► WAKING UP: Shortly after the carnival arrives, the Ringmaster will send out a somewhat cryptic radio message - but her immediate location won't be clear. Whatever items you had on your person at the time the Severing was broken will still be on your person, including whatever clothing. All of the animals and pets of the carnival will have returned to the grounds as well, though they are currently free from their designated living spaces. Things in the carnival will appeared to have naturally aged a month, as if the carnival was been sitting here empty and waiting while everyone was in Portland. The lawn needs mowing.

► SUMMER CITY: After the Summer Fae become aware of everyone's presence, they will welcome you into their city. There are stairs that lead up the sides of the mountains, but thankfully there are also magical means of getting up there as well. The Summer Fae will be willing to help workers with the injured as needed, offering herbal remedies and healing magic to those that want it. You'll also be invited to join them for dinner, but they will not be particularly offended if they are turned down, for now.

► SUMMER PEOPLE: The fae here will mostly enjoy the company of any carnival members that offer it - it doesn't seem that much happens here besides day after day of peaceful meditation and relaxation. It is not uncommon to see Summer Fae spent days doing exactly the same thing, whether that be enjoying the weather, listening to music, or dancing - the day and night periods may be similar to earth, but when you don't need rest it can all blur together just the same. Some of the fae work on feats of agriculture or craftsmanship, and while there is no particularly need to work in this place, they take pride in the fact that they do.

► NEW ARRIVALS: Though the Ringmaster will not be offering much guidance for the first week or so, eventually the carnival will begin running for a few small performance sessions, off and on, as a thank you to their fae hosts. The carnival will also be open to receiving new arrivals during that period, and so there will likely be some newbies to train and get orientated as well.

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"I'm alright," she says, keeping up her smile for his sake. The library had been intense and terrifying, and not long after that Knotley had caught up with her and taken her back to the Collapse after being attacked by more demons. But they managed to get out of that first one, so why ruin the success with the story of what happened after?

"D'you mind...?" she asks, gesturing to the seat next to him. Ever since they got back, she hasn't wanted to be by herself again.

Tamaki shakes his head, and gives the seat next to him a pat to reinforce it. He certainly doesn't mind her sitting next to him; he's not up for being alone all the time, either.

"No one got turned into a vampire this time," he continues while she moves seats. "So, I guess it worked out okay. Yuu-chan passed out but I think he's going to be okay."

He takes a few more bites of food, ravenous.

"That's good ta hear," she says, sliding into the seat with her tea. Yes, this is nice, this is probably what she needs. Just some time chatting, being calm, not playing charades or Move The Coin with Tamaki. It's almost like a holiday, talking to him without some kind of communication problem.

Well. No physical one, at least. Snake disappearing is still weighing on her, but she doesn't want to talk about that right now.

"Who's Yuu-chan?"

"My roommate. He's an acrobat too."

Tamaki could just say Yuya's actual name, but he doesn't. That's simply not his way of doing things.

Speaking of that, though... Tamaki looks back at Doll quizzically.

"Is your family okay?" He can't remember the last time he saw either Snake or Joker back in Portland; once he left campus, he completely lost touch with them. Were they even at the ritual? He doesn't remember.

"Oh really? Huh, I should find 'im then, introduce m'self." Their performances could only get better if they had a bond, if they knew and trusted each other. She'd have to find this Yuu-chan next practice.

That plan falls away in her mind the second Tamaki asks after her family. The last scraps of her happy mask disappear and she stares at Tamaki, speechless, for a few seconds. Before she knows it, the guilt comes back, the stern words from Joker, replaying the moment she should have told Snake no--

Her nose and cheeks go red and her eyes start filling with tears, and she holds onto her cup of tea like it's going to fly away.

"Ah-"

Oh god - he really didn't mean for that to happen. But just like that, he watches Doll's happy face crumble, and realizes it was all just a lie; one to keep her real feelings back. Maybe it's good that she's not hiding any more, but Tamaki didn't want to make her cry. He would never want to make Doll feel bad.

Reaching out, he does the only thing he can think of in that moment - he puts his arms around her and tries to pull her into a close hug. He has no idea if she'll accept this, but it always makes him feel better, and maybe it will help her, too.

"I'm sorry, Doe-chan. Do you want to... to tell me what happened?"

Doll does more than just accept it, or even lean into it-- she wraps her arms tightly around Tamaki and sobs. She's needed someone to hold her for a long time now, and just having that kind of contact opens all of the floodgates. Comfort has been a stranger to her in the past month, and even when they got back and all Doll wanted was to go back to how things were, she couldn't manage to look Joker in the face. He was upset, Doll felt guilty, and she focused all of herself on looking like she was handling things just fine whenever she was near Joker. No crying, no staring at her antlers, life as usual-- conducted with more care, perhaps.

Tamaki isn't her brother, though, and he's offering to hug her so she takes him up on it.

"Snake-- he, he ran inta me 'n Knotley, he figg'red out what was goin' on, he said he wouldn' leave me alone with 'im so he... he contracted with Knotley. I told him no, I did! I said no over and over again, but... he didn' listen.

"Now he's not back here 'n, 'n Joker-- I know how he feels now! He didn' wan' me here, he told me no, 'n I didn' listen. I jus' thought-- it'd be better, y'know? If he had me around, but it's not better, it's worse-- the worst it could be! He's gonna worry until 'is heart stops and it'll be because'a me!"

When she sobs into his shirt, Tamaki just holds onto her tighter, moving his head to accommodate her antlers. He listens to her speak, and feels the air leave his lungs a little too harshly when she says Snake is gone now. That Snake might still be in Portland, with that demon that chased her before. It hits him like a punch to the gut, because he had considered Snake a friend, and he's been taken away.

But there's nothing either of them can do about it now, from here, and acting upset about it will only make Doll feel more guilty. And in this moment, Tamaki can understand exactly how Joker feels. He doesn't want to show his true emotions, and make Doll feel worse. If she were his little sister were here, he would probably go out of his mind with worry that something could happen.

He understands that, but he also understands Doll's side in this. Doll just wanted to be with her family, wherever that may be, and wouldn't he give anything for the same thing? She didn't know things were going to end up this way; really, they shouldn't have.

So he holds her tight, trying to find the words to say. Words have never really been his thing, but he'll try his best.

"Snake..." His voice fumbles a little over the word, because it's not his nickname - Snakkun - but that feels inappropriate while Snake is missing. "He... he knew he had to help you. Because you're his sister. He couldn't do nothing when he felt like he could protect you. And... it made him happy, to think he could help."

Whether it helped or not, Tamaki doesn't know. He doesn't know enough about the circumstances of what happened. But he thinks even just letting Doll know she wasn't alone had to help a little.

"The places we go... they can be bad. But it's not your fault. You don't make anything worse. Please don't think that."

Doll sniffs sharply and pulls away from Tamaki's shirt. Her tears are all down his front, so she just looks a little pink and damp as she holds onto his shirt and looks up at him.

"I feel like I do make things worse. F'r Joker, f'r Snake. If I hadn' been here, maybe he'd be alright, ya know? Maybe if I'd jus' listened ta Joker, he'd be a lot ha-happier."

She'd be miserable though. Maybe dead. She didn't know exactly, but right now believing she'd hurt her family hurts more than death scares her. But there's more to it than just that, now. Maybe she would have had a chance before the carnival, but now?

"Y'can' tell 'im Tamaki but... I dunno that I could leave now. Deals with tha Ringmaster aside, I jus'... I have friends again, 'n work, 'n I see so many things that I never woulda seen. I dunno that I'd take it back if I had th'chance."

Maybe it would have been better, maybe it would have been worse. It's impossible to know that, so Tamaki doesn't really think it's worth dwelling on.

Doll's next words catch his attention more readily, and he looks into her eyes as he says resolutely, "So don't. Don't leave."

He doesn't know what she's facing back home, but for her to be so adamant about staying even with all that's happened, he can imagine it must be something awful. He has friends and a fun job and maybe (hopefully!) a sister to go back to, but not everyone's world is like that.

"You don't make anything worse." He'll keep saying it. "I don't really think Manager would be happier. I don't think you would be happier, or anyone else, either. So don't leave."

Doll blinks up at him, and whether it's the intensity of his eyes or what he's saying, she finds she can't look away-- or doesn't want to. She and Tamaki have been through some strange things, and somehow they've always managed to communicate. This isn't an exception to the rule, Doll realizes. Somehow he's cut straight through every excuse and reason she's come up with, and told her what he thinks is true. What she thinks is true, too.

"...Yer not jus' sayin' that 'cause I'm cryin', are ya?" she lets out a little wet laugh and another deeply attractive snuffle. He wouldn't lie to her, she's pretty sure he wouldn't lie to her.

He would never, ever lie to her about this.

"Well, I don't want you to cry," he says, but his voice is light, carefully joking. "But I mean it. So don't let anyone tell you you have to leave."

Tamaki will fight anyone telling her she has to leave if he has to, although he would rather not come to that. Hopefully, everyone can see that this is where Doll deserves to be, as long as she wants to stay here.

Doll does take the meaning of his joke, and manages to laugh a little despite wiping her face and snuffling. "I don' like cryin' neither." She'd much rather not have to think about any of this, but at least she has someone to talk to about it.

She keeps hanging on to Tamaki's shirt, liking the feeling of having some small connection while she sorts all this out. "I'm gettin' real rebellious here. Joker won' be happy."

Joker, huh? Tamaki doesn't know the whole story of what's going on between them, but he's sure they can work through it. Joker just wants her to be happy and safe. But Doll is grown; she can make her own decisions, too.

"I think Manager will be okay." He'll have to accept the inevitable reality eventually. "He's always been nice to me. Just, um. Stressed out sometimes."

He doesn't even know if Doll knows of the time Tamaki stumbled across him crying tears of blood. That's something Tamaki would rather not ever repeat again, so he hopes Joker is talking to someone.

"But he has people here, too."

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⇨ THE SUMMERLANDS

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