⇨ THE EPILOGUE

[ringleaders]

Who: Everyone!
When: Day 61
Where: The Carnival
What: After all the rescues team return, it will be matter of tending to the wounded and getting the hell out of dodge. The Ringmaster can handle the fleeing part, but someone will need to look after those in the medical tent. Or, maybe, you just want to show up and ask what the hell happened.
Warnings: Some messed up consequences of faerie fuckery.

IN REPAIR↴ As the minutes tick past, all four rescue groups will eventually return. Everyone in the carnival is encouraged to help out, ensuring that the rescues and victims both are taken care of after the fact. You can tag in here as rescuers taking care of business around the carnival, victims recovering, or other workers checking in to see what's going on. This log is for general aftermath threads, made by anyone.

Comments

[mylastchance]

If it were the first time today Susan had said those words it would hit harder. As it is, in there home and with Susan looking somewhat happy, Lauren can't be too upset by them. He'd missed Susan too, hadn't know if he'd even get to see his brother again. He did though, and he has to be sure to hold onto these moments as much as he can. That's why even though all he really wants to do is go outside and stand in the sun he's here, in a bed that feels much to soft.

He doesn't have a way to express those feelings so he doesn't even try. Instead he puts a hand on Susan's shoulder, pulling his brother closer for just a moment.

"Yeah."

[wild_magic]

He leans against him when Lauren pulls him closer, smiling a little.

"I'm glad you came back. That you're safe now."

[mylastchance]

He nods, though honestly he isn't sure he feels safe know. He knows he should, that inside the carnival and with his brother beside him he is as safe as he can be. Still, there's a sense of wariness and unease that lingers in the back of his mind. He doesn't focus on that, not wanting to worry Susan. It's just a feeling afterall, not something that can actually be explained or solved.

"I didn't think I would see you again." he murmurs finally, voice still weak from disuse.

[wild_magic]

Even after Lauren finally speaks, Susan is quiet for quite a bit longer. He was thinking the same, honestly, and had told Carly as much. He doesn't want to upset Lauren, but at the same time he doesn't want to keep it from him, either, and so finally he speaks up.

"I was scared, that you wouldn't come back."

[mylastchance]

His hand, still on Susan's shoulder squeezes slightly. He can understand Susan's fear all too well. He hadn't felt afraid under the earth, he knew he wouldn't see Susan again, but instead of fear the thought only filled him with regret. Still, he'd felt that same fear of loss many times before, ever since loosing Father and Nana he'd been afraid of it. He should never have put Susan through that.

"I was so stupid."

[wild_magic]

He shakes his head fiercely at Lauren's words. It's not that he objects, really, he actually agrees with it, but he's heard it so many times in different ways over the past couple of days that he doesn't want to hear it again.

"I thought. I thought you were dead."

[mylastchance]

He wants to apologize, but he fights the urge. That isn't what Susan needs to hear now.

"I'm not."

[wild_magic]

He almost laughs at that, but instead just shakes his head.

"They, they wouldn't let me come and get you and. I thought, I'd never see you. That you'd just, be lost out there and, I'd be alone." He's trying his best to not break down, but here, in the safety of their own trailer, with just the two of them and their animals, it's hard not to start crying. It's clear in the shakiness of his voice, the way he's obviously getting clogged up, but he doesn't look to Lauren, trying to keep himself under control.

[mylastchance]

It wasn't right. It didn't even occur to him to ask until just now why Susan hadn't been allowed to come. Even now that he realizes there was a reason for it, he can't think of what the reason might be. He would never have accepted being told not to go after Susan. He can only imagine the frustration Susan must have felt, and that he actually listened to others. What happened when Lauren wasn't there to speak up for Susan? Why was it allowed to occur?

"That's not right." he finally says, his free hand flexing into a fist. Were they just going to leave his body out there to rot? He supposes he wouldn't have cared, but it's not fair to Susan to do such a thing.

[wild_magic]

He shakes his head, agreeing completely that it isn't right, but he doesn't know what else to say to that part. Of course it wasn't right, but he can't do anything about it. It's not relevant now anyway.

"She said she'd bring you back, no matter what, but... I almost snuck out anyway. I had to see you myself..."

[mylastchance]

He holds Susan tighter briefly, resting his head against his brother's. It's hard to know what to say to that. He understood the feeling. He'd wanted to see Susan just as badly, once he'd come back to himself. He hadn't been able to think at first under the earth. He can still recall the feeling of wrongness that had settled within him. He felt crushed, and breathless, his body constantly struggling for air it couldn't receive and continuing on anyway, until his body changed into something that didn't need air.

When he reached that point, that is when he began to think. He'd had too much time for thinking really. Every second recalling events of the past, reliving them reanalyzing them, seeing what he could have done differently and what he shouldn't have done at all.

"I haven't been a very good brother this past year."

[wild_magic]

He shakes his head again, more forcefully than before, finally looking up at Lauren, tears starting to fall.

"N-no, you're the best brother! You always help me, and, you're always there for me, even if I m-mess up...!"

[mylastchance]

It's not the reaction he was expecting. For Susan to so ardently defend him, it's touching and at the same time it hurts. Susan thought so highly of him, and yet in the past year he can think of nothing that he had done to deserve it. He had made Susan worry about him, he had fought with Susan, he had yelled at Susan, he had nearly died and left his brother alone in a place where no one knew or respected him. Susan deserved so much more than that, but for one reason or another it seemed he wanted Lauren.

He looks down at Susan, watching the tears fall down his brother's cheek. Then he wraps his arms around Susan, holding his brother tight. He always tried to do what was best for Susan. He cared more about his brother than he did anything else in his life. But he did make mistakes, mistakes he felt obligated to acknowledge.

"Thank you. I want to do better. But thank you."

[wild_magic]

Later there will be time for him to tell Lauren how stupid he was, to get angry with his brother for messing up. Right now though he clings as Lauren hugs him, sniffling as he tries to keep his tears under control.

"You do good enough now..."

[mylastchance]

It's not as good as Susan deserves though. Of course what Susan really deserved where things Lauren could never give him; a mother and a father, a normal life. There was no way he could ever manage to make up the difference. That's why it was so important to him to always do the best he could by Susan.

"I love you."

[wild_magic]

"I love you too." It's muffled by Lauren's shirt, but he still says it anyway, still hugging him tightly back as he cries quietly against him.

[mylastchance]

He did this. He scared Susan. It's his fault Susan is crying against him right now.

"I'm sorry."

[wild_magic]

"Stop it..." He doesn't want to hear apologies, not now. Right now he just wants to finish crying, to get rid of his fear and grief. Then they can talk about how stupid he was.

[mylastchance]

He shuts up, letting Susan cry against him as he holds his brother close.

[wild_magic]

He's happy for it, honestly just happy to not have to talk or acknowledge his feelings and just sit here, safe in Lauren's arms.

Eventually though he's cried all he can, and he pulls back, wiping at his eyes. It's only after a bit of thought that he speaks up again.

"I love you. But, you'd better not do that again."

[mylastchance]

Lauren nods. He already knows he that. He never should have been so reckless.

"I won't."

[wild_magic]

He nods, and after a moment he laughs a little.

"I thought I was the one who did stupid things without thinking."

[mylastchance]

And Lauren doesn't even know what to say to that. It as stupid and reckless. He should never have done it. He was lucky to even be alive. He knew all that, and he wasn't yet at the point where he could laugh about it. It almost hurts that Susan would laugh, but Lauren knows is brother is just tying deal with the situation in his own way.

Still he wonders how many other people will laugh at him and call him stupid. He looked even more freakish now than he had ever before, and he felt strange in a way he couldn't describe. There was a strange foreign quality to his own body now that made everything feel not quite right.

[wild_magic]

He looks to Lauren after his brother stays quiet, looking him over before leaning back in against him. He isn't sure exactly what Lauren is thinking, but obviously his comment didn't help.

"...Sorry. I was just kidding."

[mylastchance]

He shakes his head. He knew it was just a joke. Susan was right anyway. It was stupid. If Susan had done the same Lauren would have been sick with grief and frustration.

"It's okay." he finally says. He looks to the window. He wants to go outside. He misses the earth. What was wrong with him?