lostcarnival | ⇨ HEARTSTONE MANOR

Entry tags:

⇨ HEARTSTONE MANOR

Who: Everyone!
When: Day 170 - Day ???
Where: Heartstone Manor
What: The carnival arrives at the Heartstone Manor. Do your best to play along, and try not to get too far ahead of the schedule with threading if you can avoid it, in case something that would affect your character happens early on.
Warnings: Individually marked! Could be a lot of things.

BEAUTIES AND THE BEAST↴

When the carnival arrives at the Manor, everyone will be taken into the Throne Room to greet the Prince for the first time. He will be lounging on his throne, and will take a look at the guests that the Ringmaster has brought before eventually dismissing everyone so that he can talk to her alone. After that, they will be given a brief tour of the Manor by some of the servants, and then brought to their rooms to start picking out clothes for tomorrow. On the first night they will be permitted to wear regular clothes, but starting the next morning the dress code will be enforced.

There will be a number of servants helping guests with clothing, and making alterations to suit the non-humanoid features they may have. The tailors work with fabric by hand, but their stitching is impossibly quick and accurate, with changes being made to complex clothing at unbelievable speed. Some guests may note while working with them that one of the seamstresses has wooden mannequin-esque hands instead of human ones, and another has two sets of arms. The arms are one of the most obviously inhuman traits that they'll see while first touring the building.

Come the morning of Day 171, the daily routine will begin.

⇨ THE DAILY SCHEDULE ⇦

► FIVE MEALS A DAY: Between breakfast, lunch, tea, supper, and evening drinks, the meals you are required to attend are frequent and long. Each meal (except drinks and tea) will have multiple rounds, and use all of the fancy cutlery. It will be difficult to keep up for those that are untrained. The food will vary greatly, but will generally to be palatable to those that are into whatever kind of food it might be. Some of them are odd delicacies that are very much an acquired taste, however. People who cannot eat will be given a pass once the Ringmaster explains it, but will be looked down on for it.

► DAILY ACTIVITIES: There are scheduled activities for every morning and afternoon,
and everyone is required to attend. Descriptions of each activity are provided on the "Event Descriptions" tab of the spreadsheet linked up above. There is only one hour of free time scheduled per day, after supper, and beyond that the servants will almost constantly have you on the go. The Prince and Ringmaster will not be present for most of the activities, but they will be there for every meal. If you character refuses to follow the schedule or makes a huge mess out of proceedings, make sure to report it here.

► AFTER CURFEW: At 11PM, everyone is expected to return to their quarters and spend the rest of the night there. Wandering after curfew is unacceptable by the Prince's rules, and if you do it there will be the chance of discover. Based on your character's stealth abilities, there will be dice rolling to determine if they are discovered or not, and by whom. Make sure you report any after curfew activity to the mod post here. This can also take place as an investigation if they are actually looking for something instead of just farting around.

► ROOM AND BOARD: The servants will remain upbeat for most of the time the guests are here, unless something is done to provoke them. They will be present at every activity, and there will be a variety of different individuals. One frequently spotted character will be the butler, a man with dark hair and small, sharp horns. He seems to be the main organizer of things.

► ODDITIES: Even beyond the obvious, there is something off about the Manor. Doors, windows, and other household objects will sometimes move seemingly without cause, and other times there will be banging sounds in the walls, or mysterious voices heard at a distance. It feels like you're being haunted. If you have a moment to wander the corridors, then you'll sometimes see open doors abruptly slam shut the moment you lay eyes on them, and wall sconces turn off or on. It's weird, man.

► THE HUNT: The Hunt activity will have its own event post, and some sign ups for those that will participate meaningfully. There will be some dice rolling to determine who hunts the most impressive game, and rewards handed out accordingly. Before that post goes up, however, you can do some investigations for the start of the event, if your character is interested in looking into the specifics of the contest and overall context.

MAKE SURE THAT ALL DECORUM VIOLATIONS ARE REPORTED HERE.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"...Guess so." Ginko supposes he can't fault Joker too much for giving a vague answer to a broad question.

So he'll narrow it down a little. His tone drops slightly, his voice showing as clearly as his face that he's aware of the likely gravity of what he's asking. But he can't keep leaving this unanswered, not with how much it clearly effects Joker.

"What... happened that made you think you should have been left with the vampires?"

He'd known. From the second he'd decided to approach Ginko about this kind of thing, Joker had known that is the question that he'd get asked.

Still. It doesn't make him any happier to hear it actually vocalized. Joker grimaces, shoulders hunching upwards. At the time, what had set off that confession had been Snake's reaction to him, but... He knows that had only been the flint, and not the tinder.

How to explain? It takes him a moment to get the words together, and longer to lend sound to words. "I..." His mouth twitches. "I wasn't a good person, ya have ta understand." Frankly, he's pretty sure he still isn't, but that's neither here nor there. "I did... cruel things ta people- ta families. Things that can't ever be fixed. And I did that just for my own selfishness."

Ginko pushes aside his first thought, that brief impulse to ask what it actually was that Joker did. The thing is, the details don't matter, not at this moment, and trying to get them out of Joker right away strikes him as needlessly cruel.

So he goes on to his next question. The one that he feels is probably more important. "What were you gaining from it?"

Selfishness is an abstract; all it tells Ginko is how Joker views his own actions. If he's going to form any kind of a judgment here, he needs to know what it is that Joker is calling selfishness.

Somehow, that's a worse question than the first, and Jokers wings draw in tight around him. "Nothin'," is what ends up hissed out, and he bites down on his tongue in self reflection. "I didn't end up with anythin' at all."

Just- an idiot. That's what he'd been. All that work, all that panic, the fear and desperation and feeling so sick with his own self hatred-

"Just a dumb bastard in the end, all the ways that could mean."

Okay, that's not... a great reaction. Ginko tilts his head slightly in thought. He thought he would be getting something, clearly. Had he come to that conclusion on his own, or been told by somebody else?

...Okay. One question at a time.

"What did you think you were getting, then?"

A beat of silence.

As easy ("easy") as it had been to admit all his failings, it almost seems more shameful to admit what he'd been working for. His ears twitch, lowering as his mouth twists.

"...Safety. For... the place I- I didn't grow up there, but I ended up there, eventually." His foot taps just once against the grass, and his fingers knead at his pants leg. "Orphanage."

Ginko is...

Speechless.

Not for long, but, for the first time since they've been talking about this, he isn't just pausing to think about what to ask next, how to word his questions. He simply isn't thinking of anything to say at all.

It only lasts a couple moments. Then Ginko takes a breath, glances away, and then back to Joker. "How... is that selfish?"

"They were kids too!" It comes out almost venomous, loathing, as Joker snaps around with his wings half out and bristling.... but not at Ginko. As usual, as it's always been, it's at himself more than anyone else.

"They were kids too, and they didn't even- they- " His mouth snaps shut, and he jerks his head away. He's getting too loud. If he gets too loud, it'll be more than apparent that they're not doing anything to do with the damn game.

If nausea is curling in his stomach, painful and twisting, and his skin is getting pale, well....

Ginko winces at that, his eye going wide out of surprise more than fear. That shock doesn't subside as Joker's words sink in; instead, it's joined by a sick horror deep in his stomach.

"What--" He cuts himself off, looking away and taking a breath, but it's probably clear enough what he was going to ask. As far as he can tell, there's simply no point to asking Joker what actually happened to the kids. It doesn't really matter - and he can guess, anyway.

So, instead.

"Who... who wanted you to do this?"

He can't imagine that Joker would have arranged it himself. Not from how he's acting, and not from what he knows of him.

Honestly, he's half expecting Ginko to finish the question that's right there on the tip of his tongue. The answer is... worse than he can probably imagine. God only knows that it was worse than the rest of his family ever thought and, in the end, even worse than he thought, too.

Secrets upon secrets, each layer peeled back to only reveal more of a person's disgusting nature.

Who wanted him to do this? There are so many answers he could give to that, and Joker grits his teeth as he tries to figure out one. Finally, he forces the words out from between his teeth. "It... was the person who owned it. Us. A Baron." His face screws up, his usual masks not strong enough to mention the next part without being warped with revulsion and hatred and.... perhaps some fear, even now, as much as he despises the feeling. "Our 'father', as he said."

What strikes Ginko more than Joker's words is his tone, the way his expression twists with emotion. It's not something he thinks he's seen from Joker before - not when he was sober, at least.

"Why did he...?" Why would someone want that to begin with?

Joker's quiet laugh is sharp, the way biting into something bitter is. "Wanted somethin', course," he mutters. "Ain't that the way it is? Nobles want what they want, and anyone else gets ta pay for it." There's more to it, of course, and hints of that story show in the way he reaches across himself to curl his fingers in the empty spot where an arm would be.

But... "It's... a bloody long story." He glances through the hedge, ears perking up as he tries to tell if anyone has come to find them yet. This is a bit of a risk, but sometimes croquet games can take literal hours.... and few people here are actually good, or know what they're doing. Maybe they won't be too missed. Then again, if he's honest, maybe it's not looking out for him and Ginko that he's doing this. Maybe he just... wants to not speak, for a moment, to gather air in shaking lungs and steady himself.

It doesn't work as well as he'd like.

"He was lookin' for someone," he mutters at least, a little more together than moments before at least. "And that was how he lured 'em out." A spasm, at the corner of his mouth.

The more he's heard over the past few minutes, the more carefully Ginko has been observing... everything, really, but especially Joker. His body language, every shift in his expression; they all say clearly that there is far more that could be said here, far more that Joker doesn't want to say.

And as for Ginko... well, to a degree, he's curious. He still has a million questions, about who the Baron was looking for, why he would take this approach. About just what it was that he made Joker do. How many children had fallen victim to this whole thing.

It's a rare thing for Ginko to decide that he doesn't want an answer after all. He'd argue if asked, without a doubt, that knowledge is one of the most important tools someone can have; anything from a broad concept to the most precise details can end or save lives, depending on which people have what information.

But.

What Joker is describing is far in the past. Ginko can't think of any real reason he'd need the details, beyond his own curiosity. He's not sure that's worth what he'd probably find out if he pushed - and it's certainly not worth pressuring Joker further when he's already so clearly in pain.

If Joker is ever willing to tell him the details, he'll be ready. But, until then, he can only think of one thing he might truly need to know.

"...If you don't mind me asking. What was this Baron's name?"

Edited 2017-10-18 19:44 (UTC)

Joker blinks.

In contrast to the other expressions he's been making throughout this entire thing, whether his well used fake smiles or a twisted myriad full of negativity, it's almost comical. Perhaps it would be, if not for the conversation subject.

Out of all the thing he was expecting... All the questions that could be asked were always worse ones, more prying ones that he only really allows because he's not sure if they're getting out of this one alive. Yet that question, so plain and blunt-

"Kelvin," he finally says, still a little stunned and confused as the answer slips from his mouth. Belatedly, his brow furrows slightly. "Baron... Kelvin."

Ginko nods - slowly and thoughtfully, filing that away. Just in case he ever needs to remember. There's little chance that he'll ever need to know what was specifically done to those children, but... well. As much as he hates to imagine it, he can't predict who might wander into the Carnival in the future.

Assuming the Carnival has a future, of course.

He lets out a breath and looks at Joker again. "...Thank you. For trusting me enough to tell me this."

...This can't be right.

"That's it?" Joker asks, slow, almost warily, and he finds himself leaning forward with his wings twitching. "Ya don't have... any other questions, or anythin' else ta say?"

Not that he thinks Ginko would say anything truly damning, or horrible. It's not like him. But- still.

"...Mm. I can't say there's nothing else I'm wondering, but... I don't think I really need to know the rest. I'm not sure it's my business to pry any further." Especially not if it's going to bother Joker as much as it seems to be.

"Besides, I'm not sure how much I could say. Not that you don't already realize." He stares down at the ground, his tail swishing back and forth. There's no denying that what Joker was involved in was horrible, from everything he's heard about it. But Joker knows that. He doesn't need to have it ground in more. In fact, if anything...

Ginko looks up again, and his tail comes to rest, wound loosely around one ankle. "...You know I'm not going to hate you for this, right? Whatever you may have done, I know you now." He knows he's said that before, months ago, though he can't be sure Joker will remember. "I know you've been looking out for people here since before I got to the carnival at all. That may not make up for the past, but it's definitely worth something."

...Oh.

Slowly, his wings lose their tenseness. Limp, they match the way his ears have lowered, and Joker simply looks lost as he stares at Ginko. In his life, he's run into a lot of kind people, both within the Carnival and out of it. Yet he's always felt- sometimes with a sense of guilt- that it couldn't be real. Kindness either came at a price, or it came with a lie. Very few people have truly known him, after all, and he has to admit that even his own family are people he keeps many secrets from.

So what to do with something that seems like the real deal?

Joker hasn't the faintest.

Words, finally, come t him. "That's not..." Weakly, his hand gestures out to the side. "It doesn't work like that, Ginko. It's... not somethin' ya can just separate."

"...I know that." The reply is given with the sort of tired resignation of a man who is very used to being treated as naive, or like he must be misunderstanding something, even when he is absolutely not. There's something else there, too, something almost like guilt.

"I know the past and the present can't be separated. But that's not the point. It's..." He lifts his hands, gesturing almost helplessly, indicating something like a line in the air in front of him. "The present doesn't erase the past, but... it doesn't work the other way around, either. When you understand what you've done wrong in the past, and you do better-- that's all that can really be asked of anyone. And it seems safe to say that you've done that."

Knowing what Joker has done doesn't undo the past two years. It doesn't undo how much he's seen, how much Joker will do to look after his performers and his friends. It's something about him that Ginko hadn't known, and he can't pretend that he'll just walk away and forget about this, but-- it doesn't change what he already knows.

Joker's face twists, saying without words how much that doesn't seem true to him- how it can't seem true, because it feels too easy. A confession and action can't possibly be enough to erase such sin; it's probably why he's never cared for Christianity. (Well, one of many.) Nothing feels like enough with the things he's done, or what he's been complicit in.

But what can he say? His hand rises up a couple of times, as if to start, but it inevitably always falls again. No words leave him. There's no defense. Even this much is too much, really, and he'll need time to let it settle.

Eventually, however, he manages to find something. "S'a hell of a thing ta say," he murmurs, "when ya look so guilty like that, Ginko. Do ya really believe it, then?"

Whether it erases anything or not, it's certainly a step in the right direction... or more than that, with how much Joker has done for the carnival since then. In fact, admitting that he did something wrong at all already puts Joker miles ahead of a good few people Ginko has known.

...He'd kind of hoped Joker wouldn't pick up on that, actually. But he supposes he can't really expect to hide things so easily from someone so practiced at hiding his own emotions. Since he did notice, though... well, there's not much to do but answer.

"If I hadn't believed it, I wouldn't have said it." Ginko won't claim never to lie, but he wouldn't about something like this. Trying to handle a situation like this one with half-truths or twisted reasoning wouldn't do anyone any good. "I'm not just... spouting meaningless placation here, Joker. So I... won't claim that doing good can actually make guilt go away."

Even if you spend over twenty years pouring whatever effort you can spare into helping others, it's no guarantee.

Describing the feeling that goes through him at those last words is... hard. On one hand, it's almost a vindication. Of course the guilt won't go away. There was never any hope for that happening. At the same time...

He bows his head a little bit, hair hiding his expression as he works it all out. As with so many times, it's not something that can really be done so, also as he's done so many times before, he shoves the emotions away. Wraps them tight, locks them up. He can figure it out... later. Assuming they still have a later. If they don't, well- it won't matter, will it?

"...That yer problem, then?" His head nudges up slightly. "With the... mushi, and stuff?"

Ginko wishes there were better news that he could give Joker, some way to make things better. But anything he does will be a slow - and, likely, perpetually incomplete - process. Some things can't be fixed; all that can be done is to try to minimize the damage, to others and oneself.

He stays silent until Joker speaks again, and then his ears give a slight flick and he glances away in a familiar hesitation. But... after what Joker just told him, it wouldn't feel right to hide his own past. So he nods, slowly, before speaking.

"I... wasn't always as careful as I should have been about my condition. In fact, I..." He takes a breath before he keeps going, his mouth twisting as he tries to find the right words. This isn't exactly something he's accustomed to telling people.

"When I was younger. I had a few mentors who convinced me that, if I wanted to earn enough to survive, I would have to use that condition to bring in more work. So we'd stay in one place, for months at a time. The populations of mushi would grow, my master would treat their effects. And every time, things would... get out of hand."

While he's more than spilled his guts wet and sopping to the ground (metaphorically speaking), Joker wouldn't be surprised if Ginko refused to answer. There's no reason for him to, after all. The chances of them getting out of here solid and well is a question he doesn't know the answer to. That had been Joker's push into talking, into opening a chance he wasn't sure he'd get again. Yet him and Ginko are two different people. If he hadn't thought that sort of thing now, Joker isn't sure it'll play a factor at all.

Yet Ginko's voice rings out, and Joker's ears flick forward with each careful slow word. Behind the hedges, both their secrets are apparently going to be spilled out... But what he ears has Joker's brow crumpling together.

"That ain't yer fault," he says quietly. "S'just gits usin' someone who didn't know better."

"You were used, too," he points out. That part doesn't take much thought to get to, since it's... pretty obvious. Besides, talking about other people's situations has always been easier for Ginko than talking about his own.

That contrast is part of why he hesitates before continuing. "...I did know. They convinced me I had to do it for my own good, sure, but... I still knew it was wrong. I knew people were getting hurt. ...I was only thinking about myself."

He didn't have any siblings or an orphanage to be looking after. Nobody else would have been harmed if he had gone against what he was taught. It was only his own selfish fear that kept him from putting a stop to it all.

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