⇨ THE PRINCE IS DEAD

[ringleaders]

Who: Everyone!
When: Day 178 - B1: Day 6
Where: The Carnival and sometimes on top of the Heart of Stone.
What: Now that the Prince is dead and gone, there's a lot left to sort out. As the remaining servants are liberated and those captured by the Prince are tended to, it's time for recovery and goodbyes.
Warnings: Nothing in particular.

HOME GROUND↴ At long last, it is over. The Prince is dead, and all of his stolen Names have been restored - all that's left to do is treat the wounds and move on. For the first day or two, the Ringmaster will be arranging passage for the servants that are left, all of which have remembered their names for the first time in years. The earth elemental that had been trapped and forced to serve as the Prince's manor, the Heart of Stone, is happy to help for the moment. It appreciates the Ringmaster's mercy, and is free after untold eons of imprisonment. Yet, there are plenty of aspects that are far from simple. There are still servants left mad and transformed into beasts, with no easy way to change them back. The Prince's spells outlive him, and those bearing his poison and his curses will have a difficult road ahead of them. Though most of the bestial servants have been rounded up, and a large number that had been reduced to unmoving statues returned, even the Ringmaster can't return them to normal so simply. The next week is for rest and for settling remaining affairs. If you want to bid farewell to any particular NPCs, or assure care is given where it's needed, now is the time to do it. ► A CURE: The Ringmaster will tell everyone simply - there is no simple way to undo another fae's magic. The Prince's powers were essentially on par with hers, which means that those who have been transformed to stone and those that were cursed into beasts and driven insane are not something she can trivially fix. It will take the work of the carnival and a couple weeks of treatment to shed the curse of stone, and the maddened servants are an entirely separate matter. She will do what she can, but for the most part she is arranging for the Prince's servants to be cared for elsewhere. At least for now, the Ringmaster will be animating the stone portions of people's bodies with magic, though those portions will still be a bit clumsy and numb feeling. ► THE NEW HEARTSTONE: In the absence of the prince, the Heart of Stone will be taking over the remains of the Prince's realm and preventing it from collapsing into void. As it turns out, the manor had been an earth elemental all along - a form of Wyld Fae almost on par to the Prince and Ringmaster themselves. How the Heart of Stone was enslaved is a long story presumably, but the Ringmaster considers it to be a sign of the Prince's own depravity. The Heart will be allowing visitors for the first couple days of this period through the portal, but keep in mind you are essentially just walking around on its body. At least the realm has a floor, now, instead an endless abyss surrounding it.

Comments

[whattaprick]

Looking at 9S, the difference between being organic and synthetic is clearer to Lambert in a way he's never really appreciated before. Witcher or not, magic healing or not, prodding his body into cooperating enough to lug him around the damn place is like trying to persuade a particularly stubborn horse. As much as he'd like to actually engage in blowing off some steam of his own, in his current state, he's sure that'll just land him on his ass and twice as pissed as before.

"She will if I tell on you," Lambert points out, utterly remorseless at the idea of ratting 9S out. The legendary human picking-on of the youngest, it begins. "And yeah, she does. Guess she'll have to rebuild 'em to stand up to androids."

[dressedtothe]

9S puts on the biggest pout.

"Aw, come on. Why would you do that?" Don't be such a spoil sport, Lambert! It's not like he can avoid her, considering they're roommates. "Maybe she won't get mad if I tell her that her repairs are working fine."

He stretches out his arms. Fortunately, his burned hands are covered by his gloves, so the visible metal on his palms aren't being exposed right now.

"Anyway, it's not like I'll be shredding the dummies all the time. Once everything's calibrated, there's no point in me engaging in this sort of exercise."

[whattaprick]

"Why not?" Lambert asks, grinning back as shittily as possible. "I think it'd be funny." And that's all the reason Lambert ever needs to do something, of course: his own entertainment. Though as 9S continues to speak, he can't help cocking his head to the side curiously.

"You do know exercise is part of your job, right?" Well, probably not, since Lambert didn't exactly lay that out for 9S when he first got here. Silly oversight. "Why would it be pointless?"

[dressedtothe]

Well, it was pretty funny baiting Rita into getting mad at Strange... It's just less funny when he's the one she's mad at!

Whaaat? Come on, Lambert! Don't say that!

"I'm an android," he says, as if that explains everything. "Exercise isn't going to build up strength or endurance when I'm made of metal. What's the point if exercise doesn't do anything for me?"

[whattaprick]

It's funny whenever Rita gets mad at anyone. 9S just has a poor sense of humor, obviously. Maybe androids weren't built with them.

"Who says you wouldn't get something out of it?" Lambert challenges. "Maybe you won't get any muscle, but you still learn things, don't you? You think the other nightrunners wouldn't get more out of sparring with a live target instead of a dummy, or you wouldn't learn something about dealing with unexpected surprises? Fastest way to get fucked up is to think there's no room for improvement."

[dressedtothe]

It's fine when it's happening to someone else.

"Well yeah, buuut..." You hear that whine, Lambert? It's a big whine. "The predetermined exercises like the dummies or the obstacle course aren't gonna do any good." He'll give Lambert on the sparring, though he won't admit that aloud.

And the only reason the obstacle course isn't as much of a challenge as it should be is because it's all controlled by, well, technology that he can hack.

"Besides, I'm a Scanner. I'm not supposed to get into fights!"

And see how much he got burned by doing so?

[whattaprick]

"Then why do you carry around that big sword, to peel vegetables? Or to compensate for not having a dick?"

Because that really is a large sword to be chucking around for no discernible reason, 9S. That's just super weird. At any rate, giving 9S shit seems to be cheering Lambert up considerably.

[dressedtothe]

Of all the things he expected Lambert to say, that definitely wasn't it. Yeah, okay, it's a basic fact he doesn't have one, but the way Lambert says it...

9S sputters, heat rising to his cheeks. "Where'd that come from? What does not having," a dick, "genitalia have to do with anything!?"

[whattaprick]

Oh, now, this is fun. Lambert's big old shitty grin only grows wider, and he leans forward, leaning his elbows on his knees while he looks at 9S redden.

"What, you've never heard that before? Guy's got a big weapon, he must be feeling a little insecure about something." Like his own mortality, typically, but that rarely is the case...

[dressedtothe]

Against his better judgement, 9S cautiously asks, "Insecure about what, exactly?" He adds, muttering under his breath, "I only wanted to know what it was like..."

After all, Scanners aren't supposed to be able to use a weapon. He never really questioned it before, but maybe that was because it would make them easier to kill.

[whattaprick]

"About the size of his dick," Lambert explains, patience apparently inexhaustible the cruder the subject is. The muttered aside, he can hear perfectly well, but 9S doesn't seem to need his input on that. Instead, since he can already anticipate 9S having even more questions, he'll carry on--

"Some people think having the biggest dick means they're the toughest shit around -- the best in bed or in fighting, whatever matters to them. Knowing they're not gets them all antsy, makes them start looking for other ways to feel like the big man. Hence the swords."

[dressedtothe]

"Huh? But the size of the," dick, "male reproductive organ has nothing to do with fighting! Or skill in bed!"

Not that he would know personally. But he does hear things...

Besides, "And you have two swords! Does that mean you have two small ones? Or you're insecure about two things?"

???

[whattaprick]

"Oh, it's the opposite," Lambert deadpans, keeping a straight face. "Every witcher carries two normal size swords, so everyone knows we're advertising having two massive dicks, see? Like, this big." He holds up a forearm, using his other hand to indicate a span from his wrist to his inner elbow.

[dressedtothe]

9S looks from that span along Lambert's arm before his gaze wanders downwards and then back up to Lambert's face. Skepticism is clearly etched onto his expression.

"You don't look like you can fit that much in your pants."

Is Lambert just playin'?

"And why would you even advertise something like that? Bigger isn't better."

[whattaprick]

Lambert manages to keep a straight face for all of five seconds before he sniggers, shaking his head.

"I'll tell you when you grow up," he says, mockingly. "Seems like you're a little too young to understand right now."

[dressedtothe]

What!? Oh come on! First it was Taako, now it's Lambert!?

9S stomps his foot, which probably doesn't help the impression he's leaving. "Androids don't grow up. I'm born fully formed and a soldier. I can handle it now!"

[whattaprick]

Lambert just outright laughs at 9S. It's a scratchy, sort of rough sound considering the state he's in, but it's genuinely amused, at least.

"Can you, though?" he manages to get out, once his amusement has finally (marginally) died down. "Because it doesn't seem like anyone thought you could. Otherwise, why didn't they put that in your head?"

[dressedtothe]

Because the humans didn't know about it. So much of human culture had been lost to them all. ...But that can't be right, if this is knowledge that's so intrinsic to humans.

Nevertheless, he doesn't know everything they'd unearthed about humans; that's why they have a server that stores all that information, after all. It's a perfectly logical reason for him not knowing.

But all 9S can manage is an indignant sputter. "We know about sex, alright!? I'm just trying to understand the human perspective on it!"

[whattaprick]

"Uh-huh. I bet that's what you tell all the lady androids. Or boy androids, if you swing that way." Does it matter? Probably not. Giving 9S shit and his subsequent reactions remain hilarious, though, so that's reason enough to keep this up.

"What's there to understand?" Lambert shrugs, rolling his shoulders back. "It's stupid and it's messy, but it's fun. People obviously get something out of it, or they wouldn't keep doing it. Not sure what else you're looking for."

[dressedtothe]

9S groans and drags a hand down his face. "No, I mean...!"

Urgh! There aren't that many scanners in YoRHa -- almost all their forces are female models -- and a lot of the androids who're banging are female models having sex with other female models. Not a lot of dick data there!

"Why is dick size so important to humans? It's not like size makes you any better at..." 9S makes a vague hand gesture.

[whattaprick]

"It doesn't," Lambert answers, amused still. "But that doesn't stop people from believing that. Humans don't do things just because they make sense, you know. Usually, it's the opposite."

[dressedtothe]

But, but, but why! There has to be some explanation! 9S doesn't look happy with that answer.

"If you say so." Also, "Is there a female equivalent of this?"

[whattaprick]

"No idea," Lambert shrugs. Insights into women, from him? Fat chance. "I'm not a woman. You'd be better off asking Rita about that."

Preferably with Lambert within earshot, just to hear how she'd react to that.

[dressedtothe]

9S only looks even more skeptical at that suggestion.

"I get the feeling she won't appreciate that question," he grumbles, looking at his feet as he kicks at the ground. "She might even punch me again."